Friday, January 5, 2024

The Roller Coaster ride

 Spent most of the night and part of the morning on the phone

We text and we share and I lie

I can't come to be truthful.

As if the truth will break her soul, the lies  already did


The evening progressed from anger to calm

From dark to bright

Understanding my bad behavior

It's been a lifelong battle


Hurting the people who love you hurts

How can I hurt the one I love?

Life is truth and being accountable

You make your bed and LIE in it


I may have answers to my illness

The broken heart and empty soul

I need somebody by my side

Lonliness leads me to an unhealthy result


Quick fix, private pics

All from the same bad arsenal

I need you to be there and hold my hand

I appears I've pushed you away


Another conversation will bring more questions of how and why

My answers are shallow and incomplete

I evade and run from what ails me

I'm such a broken man


What shall I do

How should I find myself

When do answers become clear

Banging my head against the wall no answers only headaches


It will all eventually come to fruition

Hard work, therapy the roll of the dice

Looking back at my tornadoes path

broken souls and debris laden lives






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