Hits Like a Hammer

 So much for a day of indifference

I should've known better to assume the waters would remain calm

No, waves are splashing over my seaboard

I'm tired wet and cold

I'm tired from this beating I've given myself

I'm wet from tears of sadness that flow

I'm cold and shiver at the thought of life without you in it

So I cry tears of sadness, anger and fear

Got an email from the paralegal today

The documents for my divorce were all signed and sealed

This copy had a stamp with a name emblazoned across the page

As of 24 January I am legally divorced

This news was expected and it's now real

I'm officially no longer legally a part of my wife's life

I have to call her my ex I'm told, fuck that she will always be my wife.

This reality hit me like a hammer

My day and life changed forever

At my own hands I created this devastation

The point of no return

The point of what really matters anymore

As I said I've waited for this day to come

It's here now and I'm not ready

I somehow thought I would get a call

Come home honey let's fix this thing

Well my dreams and my realities certainly didn't mesh

I have pieces of myself strewn all over the place

My biggest thought tonight is her

Is she happy or as sad as I am right now

I thanked her for everything and said my parting goodbyes

Sadly this was over a text from which I got no reply

She gave me everything she had to give and gave so much more

I took the best years she had to give and spilled them on the floor

So Terria I say to you, what a wonderful gift you are

My memories of you are solid gold

Your heart so soft and full of love 

I can only wish the best for you and to our wonderful kids Aubrey,Hunter , Mandy and Ty