Thursday, January 11, 2024

Being Insignificant

 It's a very mellow relaxed day today

I overslept and was late for work

But I'm up and running as fast as I need

In a few more hours will be one day down


The countdown has begun

Jan 15,2025 is my retire date

Have allot to do to prep for that

And look forward to sleeping in


Last night brought me many emotions

Too many memories that hurt to recall

Thankfully they were all good memories

But knowing I can't make new ones Is disturbing


My one and only dance with my wife

Like this morning can still smell her hair

Feel her against me

And believed she was mine forever


I also believed that I would stay true

How could I ever improve upon her amazing goodness

But I had to test fate and give in to the dreaded disease

That has essentially cost me my life


The heart doesn't work

the legs don't work

My mind is totally shot

There's not much left that does


I can't feel sorry for myself

So I go it alone as my actions have dictated for me

I really would question getting a second chance

I don't want to hurt or disappoint her anymore


As I wait to hear from her

An angry text, a pain filled email, whatever she has left

I know that call won't come

I just wait for the days to turn into months, years


To become a bitter memory 

It is bothersome yet rightly deserved

To know that at one time I mattered

Now I'm a final signature on a stack of papers



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