It's a very mellow relaxed day today
I overslept and was late for work
But I'm up and running as fast as I need
In a few more hours will be one day down
The countdown has begun
Jan 15,2025 is my retire date
Have allot to do to prep for that
And look forward to sleeping in
Last night brought me many emotions
Too many memories that hurt to recall
Thankfully they were all good memories
But knowing I can't make new ones Is disturbing
My one and only dance with my wife
Like this morning can still smell her hair
Feel her against me
And believed she was mine forever
I also believed that I would stay true
How could I ever improve upon her amazing goodness
But I had to test fate and give in to the dreaded disease
That has essentially cost me my life
The heart doesn't work
the legs don't work
My mind is totally shot
There's not much left that does
I can't feel sorry for myself
So I go it alone as my actions have dictated for me
I really would question getting a second chance
I don't want to hurt or disappoint her anymore
As I wait to hear from her
An angry text, a pain filled email, whatever she has left
I know that call won't come
I just wait for the days to turn into months, years
To become a bitter memory
It is bothersome yet rightly deserved
To know that at one time I mattered
Now I'm a final signature on a stack of papers
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