Lost my mind

 I'm at the bottom of the world right now

Looking up at a group of decisions

Do the right thing or the healthy route

Crash and burn over the cliff

My head is playing tricks with me

My mind is completely gone

I have nothing left to grasp onto

But the broken pieces of what's left

I'm tired and congested frightened by my future

What's in store what's beyond today for me

It's surely not health and prosperity

This where I'm supposed to say it's all over

The burning ache, guilt filled anger

I'm upset because I can't change one thing

So much deeper than losing my family

I've lost my place and reasons to find it

There's more to the pains than losing love

It's knowing I'm not good at anything 

Not good for anybody

Take a seat and watch the clock tick away

I'm not trying to be bitter and vacant

There's nothing here to fill my void

My vices are exhausted and let me escape

To a secretive place where there are no mistakes

If only I tried to be perfect

My failures would have some valor

Walking away without a proper fight

Could be  I've already beaten myself

I try to stand tall

But when I fall I'm a turtle on my back

Struggle and squirm to flip it over

I use my friend to get to the boys room

It's the end of the day it's very dark outside

I turn on the lights and find my place

Something negative to write or will the flowers bloom

God let me wake up tomorrow to water the weeds