Thursday, January 18, 2024

Alone And Scared

 I'm having an odd feeling right now

It's not a sadness, anger or anything negative

I feel alone right now, not lonely but afraid

Fears of being alone in a room full of people


I don't want to die alone

I don't want to live a loveless life

My fears are based on being dependent so long

To the same person for a long time


It's my reality to be be so needy

Taken many things for granted for too long

Now that my comfort of being loved is gone

I need to convince myself I will go on


I want to be a productive man

I want to be loved again 

I can do all of the right things

But only for my chosen love


The feeling of being alone scares me

I'm so far from being able to face my new reality

The feeling of loss has me on the ground

Picking myself up is harder than I ever imagined


This dependency issue will always rear its vicious head

My support system has gone to a better place

Worry free and the chance to grow

Not feeling like a caregiver and a paycheck anymore


I live a blessed life but it's hard to feel today

Maybe tomorrow will bring me a better appreciation

I'm thankful for all that was given to me

I'm so sorry that I had to make it end



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