I Whistle

 I remember you asking me why I whistle so much

This around the time I was leaving the house for good

I do whistle for no reason

it's not a happy whistle, it's a nervous confused whistle

I think I told her it was when I'm thinking too much

I now realize it's a troubled distraction

To fool myself into believing I'm ok

Well I'm not and I still whistle.

I remember a distinct song I was whistling to

Not a song I listened to much but an odd punchline 

"What if I'd been the one to say goodbye" 38 special

She asked me why that song, I didn't know, still don't

Some people have nervous twitches, rub their hands

I just whistle as if to say life is good

Far from it right now but there's hope it becomes manageable.

Michael Jacksons "oh baby give me one more chance" entered my pea brain.

I know she would read my entries

Make a comment now and then

I doubt she cares enough to read this now.

If so I'm whistling "Wagon wheel"