The Slow Healing

 I'm feeling like a broken record right now

I've said the same things 100 different ways

And it all comes back to pains inflicted and self destruction

Must find a way to change its course

I realize my problems aren't unique to the world 

Just to me in my own small world

I don't deserve pity or any reassurance

I just need time to fly by and take me to the next phase

There are so many lessons to be learned

Temporary fixes are just temporary

The catastrophic damage can be permanently irreparable

Don't play in that fire, it's hot and it will burn you

There are many triggers here that it is dangerously careless

That need to feel that something new is better

In all my life that's never been the case,

Learn from a stupid man giving you smart advise

There were recent times when I wanted to die

So distraught with my loss In my life

My life that was such a golden event

Treated much more like a Golden shower

I've risen above self-destruction but will still beat myself up

I must grow up and simply grow as a man

This life is not simple nor as difficult as it seems

We only have control of things, that we can change

I find each day a steppingstone on the road to emotional healing

Taking each step with caution I'm afraid to be disappointed

My healing is dependent on knowing she is ok

Then I feel I can try to move on and live a brand new day