It's cold outside, the wind is howling
Back inside where it's 72 degrees
I feel the warmth in my chair
My heart is cold and hurts really bad
I'm trying not to reflect on recent mistakes
So very hard when all I have are great memories
Thrown away for reasons I don't even have answers for
The emptiness is my life is killing me right now
When I think about the little things
The words, movements and gestures
It makes me feel like I need to rush home and say hello Honey
The cruelness of reality slaps me down again
I can think of a thousand things that make me smile
Not grandkids, kids , stuff, only her
The best years of my existence were because of her
Now my solitude is because of What I did to her
I have been blessed regardless of all outcomes
I do realize I had a lifetime of goodness in my hands
The same hand that threw it all away
On a temporary feeling only minutes in the making
Where I am am not where I want to be
It is where I deserve to be
A person can only be given so many opportunities to fail
Not to create a monopoly in the destructive process
I can wait for my phone to notify me
I can wait for the answers I want to hear
I can hope there is a forgiving soul
I can wait to die a lonely man
I can't truly ask for redemption or another chance
I can own my self destructive behavior and I do
I will live with the consequence of my choices
I just want her to be protected from the evil she's been through with me
What will I say next time we speak
I miss you, I'm sorry are so very weak
I can surely tell her that she is the best
I had it all and failed life's big test
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