"The Project"

I worked on my thesis yesterday
seemed so familiar, so close to home
it was a mirror that i saw
my life in front of me with cracks abounding

My pet peeves and work at hand
self reflection and a  journey
towards the walls of yesterdays past
torn down and crumbled bricks everywhere

I have a Project i call me
I have no due date but my own
perceptions and self improvements
where the bitterness dies alone

everyday I write a new chapter
for a chapter has been lived
every way i tried to self destruct
but i am too strong and cannot be destroyed

too many eyes upon me
a child near a pool's edge
I won't jump in again
but the water is always there

The eyes that look upon me
the love of caring and concern
the conversations past midnight
a lesson has been learned

The gifts are not hand held
not superficial gifts from the local mall
an understanding and an attitude
That being wrong is not always bad

Acknowledgment of my faults
knowing where to fund it's reparations
not running from a burning building
just running back from my separations

you can give a man a spoken word of advise
or you can give him a book to read
I hear every word you ever said to me
and i wrote my own book instead

My life and it's chronicled story
the pains and disbelief of a proud man
never forget where I've gone
but smart enough to never do it again

accountable to my own past and future
I made mistakes and will do so again
my ways of fallibility stare me down
My  lord expects me to continually sin

Looking at this project with open eyes
the endeavors that life presents
the choices to fight the fight
and forever build the stanchion of strength

Today and forever
I see the light at the end
the tunnels opening grows wider
broken walls that won't ever mend

wake up to a new beginning
so familiar, yet so new
when you destroy the bridge you walk across
only to rebuild it for the trip home