Beautiful Friday Morning

I am so damn lazy right now, am dressed and ready for the gym and have been since 9 am and yet can't seem to kick in to gear yet. Will eventually get there and then head off to the Base and hit Golf Balls, might grab a salad to eat somewhere , maybe Roxbury's and then try to find something else to do before Terria gets home.Rich and Tim are going to the St Bonny /Westlake game tonight and wanted me to go with them, I really have a hard time watching HS Football, the only thing I can watch at the HS level is Baseball but they will have fun and so will I doing whatever Terria and I decide to do. Last night was a great therapy session with Michael, touched on a few things and made me create another way of handling my shit, Michael is still in love with Terria and that's cool.LMAO! WE did have a god evening and I was on the Computer doing all sorts of shit , warranties, registering the phones with Apple blah blah blah. Really getting used to the iphone, it's still has more capabilities than I do and do miss my Blackberry in a sense only from the sentimentality of it all,Ido have a brand Allegiance for sure, Rawlings Baseball Gloves, Wilson Basketballs and Footballs and Riddell helmets for sure , so leaving the Blackberry was as much growing for me, there is a better product out there and I went and got it, which mirrors my outlook on a lot of things these days, not only one way to do things, old perceptions are hard to kill. so the new techie crap is fun but there is nothing better than having a conversation with Terria, so insightful and so intelligent is she, I can always raise my awareness with here and she can raise mine as well. The fact that we have such deep and easy conversations and can always tell when I drift in to deep thought and will awaken me and tell me so. Michael did say that the act of over analyzing is the act of suppressing my feelings, something about hating mother issues and never feeling like /i was the good son and always tried to make her happy, well not for the past 25 years I haven't but the scar tissue is still there and I am flaking it away layer by layer. Says that I have to forgive myself for what I did and grow in a more positive direction with Terria moving beyond the pains of early 2010 and look forward to a better tomorrow. I have forgiven myself but there are times when I picture the grief that I put Terria through and exact moments where I felt like just dying and wished I had in the moto accident to alleviate the pains, but running away from it all is not the answer to anything and dealing with it at the ground level is what I have chosen to do, it hurts at times but it is the necessary evil to see the and live in the Goodness that I have in my life. Well the Gym does call me and I am off to workout and hit golf balls and then eat , the day is just beginning for me ad I am already smiling with anticipation