Moving Up and Growing!

The night has essentially come to a close, I write, Terria sleeps and I watch MLB network and write away to my hearts content. I was looking back on some old blogs and noticed that I had written a nice piece on my Big sister April who has her 55th birthday tomorrow. I remember writing that piece and feeling the love while doing so, April is an incredible woman and a very strong person who has always been the worlds caretaker and at times let her own needs and issues go by the wayside, an incredible woman and a great sister. Her and Terria are the 2 most loving and giving people I know and I am so blessed to have them both to myself, damn good times. Was thinking about allot this evening, you know the mind always turning and boiling all of the time, so i was looking at some of my own words on this site and some of my anthems and things I try to live by. Coming across the simplest most truthful piece of the pie was this very statement "life is simple until we over complicate it with meaningless drama" How damn true this statement has always played in my life and in my world of deep and over thought ideas spinning our of control in my head. Keeping things simplified is not the hard part,  The hard part is asking a person who  generally thinks deeper than need on everything and to slow it all down and keep things in their simplest form, not an easy task for me , i won't bring drama into my life but i do bring that intangible element to take a simple idea and turn it into something more than it needs to be, why do I do this? Where is the fine line between being the over thinking  person versus being the simpleton who throws his hands in the air and says shit will take care of itself. There are merits of each and a happy medium is out there so i hold the hopes of slowing down the thought process and regulating the personal growth, I do enjoy deep thought and i do enjoy having the answers for most issues, yet at times i can only defer to my intelligence as wasted if not being used at all times which get s the mental motors churning all the while. so there is a real dilemma as I see it, don't ask a simple person to be Einstein or Greg Duran to be the yokel who can't formulate a sentence without using improper English or grammar, just not going to happen, so there are many things I do to catch myself from running away from myself and to keep my mental ball in fair play and playable. but realistically I defer to what Popeye once said "I am what I am" and being the intelligent soul can use the thought processes to become more in tuned with all that matters and to fight the proper fight , even if that  fight is fought between the ears of Greg Duran. So much to think about and so much to work on and to work with, sometimes I feel like I have a million Dollar check in my hand and the need to spend it all in 20 minutes or lose it all, sometimes this hurry up mindset can lead me to think too much, quickly and at time irrationally , thinking I have to have the answers and solutions to everything mine or elsewhere is at times my biggest enemy, but this mindset is again, just me over thinking things and trying to be in many places in one sitting, impossible I know yet i think i can therefore I do??? I'm like what the fuck ever dude just relax and enjoy the fucking great life you live, the beautiful people in my life and the incredible opportunities to further succeed in any area that I choose, yeah i am that confident that anything and everything is mine for the taking and for the keeping. Many choices to make and most of them positive and as a human being I can and do make mistakes, but to date any and all mistakes that I have made are correctable and hopefully will all be fixable messes and solvable in the world where I live. The days of Greg Thinking way too deeply and way to frequently are no where near being over, but understanding the issues of my mind which I have control of  and have made some real strides in making an adjustment to myself and giving my self the chance to succeed on many levels. Until then I will keep doing what i do and loving how i love and hopefully can slow down the machine inside that makes me get myself into the traps of self sabotage and unworthiness. Damn, I  never thought I'd admit to being a semi fucked up individual but I'm really not, just harder on my self than anybody else ever could be and have my personal bar raised a little higher than most , sometimes raised too high in areas that really don't mean a thing, so here i sit , writing ,thinking, living and learning and waiting to do it all over again tomorrow... Goodnight!