Goodbye 2010, I will miss you!

What a whirlwind of a year 2010 was for the Duran Family, the fact that one year ago today i struggled with getting up out of my bed and out of a chair recovering from a near death Motorcycle accident truly takes me back and helps me to ponder what the new year of 2010 was going to bring. The healing from the accident happened quickly, almost too quickly for the mental aspect of it all, a post traumatic affect triggered many things  from my past and helped in making the new year a tumultuous one to say the least, when i say tumultuous I don't necessarily mean that in a totally bad way. Many things were triggered and brought to the surface and could be linked to the time frame of March through May when Greg was not truly himself, i ventured away from who I was and left many people behind in my wake of uncertainty, but with Gods help and an incredible wife to steer me back into a new Greg and an appreciative soul who can now loom back and say that 2010 was the best year of my life. In this year I have been re-christened with my faith and my belief of being the loving and giving person that i was raised to be through God's help and love. The year also brought about a new way to live and to love my friends and family in a way that was never evident to me in my eyes, never before possible with all of the broken piece of Greg that were in place. Also many many thanks to my Therapist Michael Morales who opened up my thought process to therapy as being a good thing instead of a crazy mans tool of passing the buck. For this i can say My life has been blessed by Michael who truly is an amazing man who I have referred 4 others to see and they all have been helped by his no nonsense way of giving the tools to each and every one of us to succeed. So thank you Michael and thanks to Terria for finding this gem of a man to get us both back where we need to be in our marriage. My family and friends were so very supportive of me and Terria and gave of themselves in a non judgemental way can't say that about certain people who should still be in our corners but that's on them and that's where we can say we can wash our hands of negativity when things are bad , you find out who is true and who is a paper human being and not true to their words of love and admiration. So we bid farewell to the people who think that they are perfect and don't allow people to make mistakes, even if they have no affect on their lives but so easy to pass judgement. Terria and I have moved so far beyond the drama and now are on track to live our days together in true happiness and continually communicate like we always have but now even more so and have used the negativity of yesterday and a stepping stone to eternal love and life together. The joys of 2010 and the growth of experiencing some really cool mini vacations and a trip to Missouri for a proud moment to watch our boy graduate from Army Boot and made us all feel really patriotic and more so as proud parents! We are so blessed as parents and friends and family members to give and share such a string bond of love and respect for the ones we love and the one who love us all back. The New Year will bring growth and happiness for all and knowing my support system will always be there for us. @010 was a great year for re-uniting with Robert Nevarez, Robert Chancey, Mona, Ruth Green and the girls from Happy hour central, Debbie ,Stacy and Co.So nice of a year and feel so blessed to be where i am today. spending New years eve With Tim and April, enjoying good food and family together to ring in the New Year. Thanks to all of my friends and colleagues for making me feel so very special. Thanks To God for bringing my incredible Terria back to me and keeping her in my grips! Love and prayers to all , staying positive for an incredible 2011

The Leather

Baseball being my biggest passion can be not easily missed when entering my TV room. On top of the table sit my 7 favorite gloves that I have collected over the years. I know I'm missing 3 others that are in the garage somewhere but will add them as well. Feeling like a kid with all of these gloves and should share the wealth but at over 150 a glove , I'd better hang onto them I think. so my passion still lives on as I toss the ball into each glove , one after another changing gloves over and over again, a nervous twitch , or a childish passion, either way it's what I do and have for as long as I can remember being able to slip a glove on the hand. So for my 3 missing in action Gloves, I will find you and proudly display you along with the rest . Terria has a field day with me as we watches me play my ball and glove switch over and over..hahaha!

Heart of A Lion

Just got home from the Doctors Office, all went well, the EKG was normal and the blood pressure was also normal. Feeling pretty good and went to the gym for a nice workout and then home for a good healthy breakfast. Just relaxing and enjoying the rain and free watering of the grass. The rest of this day will either be a movie, or just kickin it with Terria watching tv or movies indoors. Feel really good about the upcoming surgery, feeling that it will open up some doors for me and be able to regain the physical freedoms that I was used to a few years back. So waiting and ready for this simple procedure but not really feeling too good about being put out  but beats the spinal I guess. whatever the case may be I am so looking forward to getting this done and over and then getting the other knee done as well. Today is a good day, tomorrow will be even better! Feeling really refreshed and happy, not missing work like i thought I would but won't dread going back either and love to go to work and do what I do, my crew , my friends and my customers are all good people that i love to be around. so the rest of today is still up n the air but whatever we do, it will be together!

Good Place To Be!

Been a few days since I last wrote , been a tad busy with doing a very little of anything, truly a nice change of pace for me where standing still generally gets me antsy and a little frustrated. But oddly enough , the past 9 days have allowed me a chance to regain a bit of the strength and discipline that I thought I had lost. Very strange to be sitting here not working and enjoying doing nothing but hanging with my wife and doing whatever i want to do. With the impending rains coming again this evening to Southern California the golf Game will be on hold again but I will utilize the garage Hitting net to get my swings in so all is not lost. We have News Years Eve plans at Aprils and Tim's house , play games and make some nice food, Me and Terria have started on 26 December eating right and continuing the diligence with the gym and getting into better shape, this will happen this year and The gym is the easy part, being a good cook is the harder part of it all but all do-able things that will get done. Tomorrow brings an EKG for me and the upcoming knee surgery on , gotta make sure the ticker is good and will sustain being put under and operated upon, can't imagine any hidden horrors, since I worked out forever and been active all of my life , at every other turn ,even at the Hospital last year the heart was very healthy and strong so just a formality. The knee surgery on 14 January will be a big relief, then shortly after that I think I would like to get the other knee done and start really getting more active with running and playing Tennis and doing things that my knees have not allowed me to do. So this is a good thing to start the healing process, just the mere simplicity of it all will be a good thing for me and i look totally forward to it and the freedoms of being totally mobile again. All is well with the family The boys are still young and at times foolish but all part of the growing experience and will be great in time with more life under their belt and the knowledge that life can bring us all as we live and hopefully learn the Do's and Don't of living and of life period! Thanking God for allowing me to be wise enough to know more today than yesterday and have more personal resources to fix myself and be aware of thing that could be detrimental if not dealt with properly, God knows I have made so many mistakes, as a bother, and son, Father and Husband but with each travesty has given me a sense of accomplishment, through my failures i have succeeded on the other end and made the best of bad situations, life is truly a winnable affair if you allow yourself to be open to better ways to solve life's issues. my closed minded approach would at time get me into trouble, as well as my open minded free way of doing things, the happy Medium is generally a stranger to my soul but as i have progressed in age I have worked at better ways to live and solve and accomplish things. A quote from an old golfer Gary Player  who once responded to a player who commented on a great shot he made, Player made an incredibly difficult shot and his partner shouted out" Damn you are a lucky SOB, Player responded," The more I practice, the luckier I get" which kind of goes hand in hand with my approach to life and living, if you work at things and are cognizant of the work needed to be put in , then you have an advantage already, very much like Player and his lucky Golf shots which are merely skillfully done with practice and time put in to get better, i have done so in life and plan and being lucky like Gary Player, only I realize that the efforts put in allow me a certain advantage to get things done and luck has nothing to do with it, it's preparedness and the awareness to take care of your life and your self all in one swoop. So i [re[are for the rest of my life with one eye open and one the other peering around the next corner for the next big deal to be dealt with. So all is Good with the Saurus and I will call it a night and write more soon!

Week One of Vacation Almost Over

Christmas is in the rear view and up ahead we see New years coming up quickly. Had a lazy day after waking up at 1021 this morning and really struggled with getting the day up and started. Once we did make it up were able to get to the gym for an hour workout and a trip to the driving range where we each hit a bucket of 100 balls apiece and felt pretty good doing so. Terria is really progressing rapidly in her form and function , doing really well and i am very proud of her for trying so hard to get better each trip. we worked on putting after hitting the balls and she picked that up rather quickly, hands and body positioning and a still lower trunk for putting so counter intuitive to the regular golf swing but she putt around 50 balls and did fine. so we are home and waiting for Tim and April, heading to dinner tonight in Camarillo and should be a real good night, after that we are meeting Brandon and the cousins at the Golden China for Karaoke, we have made that somewhat of a tradition for Brandon's birthday to go there and watch people sing poorly, I never sing and refuse to actually, i sing in the car with Terria and that's my limit for sure. so off to the Shower to ready for the night! Good Times!

Another Christmas in the Books

We made it through Christmas day, great food and family all in attendance and grubbed some serious food and side dishes. The gifts and cards were everywhere and seemed like a mountain of stuff on the floor under the tree. Aprils house in full Christmas regalia as Tim runs through the House with his plethora of Santa Hats and Holiday cheer, he;s the biggest child in the room and really gets into the season with his antics and good cheer. We ate and opened presents, relaxed a little and then celebrated Brandons 25th birthday with the cake we made and damn thing was a deadly treat, very nice and My sister Erlinda made an album based on Brandon's younger years and some really good pictures of my boy when he was a baby and in diapers, it made me tear up and try to hide my emotions but it was clear to see that I was very touched by my sister's very nice gift to my boy. The pictures brought back alot of good memories and also some really sad ones about his mother and i and how my Boy has dealt with her inabilities as a mother to give him love and and care for her boy as a mother should, but it was a really great day that started at 830 this morning with some really good good Breakfast burritos  with sausage and chorizo, potatoes and eggs wrapped in king sized tortillas and made some really great tasting Burritos, enjoyed having Tim and April over and then we headed back to their house for the day that ensued with the aforementioned activities . Another year of goodness nearly behind us all, yet we are very grounded in knowing that the life we enjoy today can be changed tomorrow by life's real time cruelties and realities, so we adapt and overcome and deal with today and tomorrow and hope to continue to get better, stronger, wiser and happier every single day.   expectations are high and my expectations for others in my life are equally as high and i know My sweetie is as good as it gets, we as parents are never off duty and always ready for the call from our boys if they need us and will always be there for them and each other !I really enjoyed the family today and can reflect upon where i was last year and thanking god for bringing my world and my life back to a better place and a better future and knowing full well that I have grown so much with Terria and have accepted her goodness and can now relish the feeling of being the luckiest and  happiest man in the world instead of fighting the worthiness issues of days past. We are going to call this Christmas night officially over, I'm going to bed and doing a little reading before i turn out the lights until tomorrow come

Almost Christmas

About 30 minutes away from Christmas day and feeling a little restless, the boys are headed over at 1 am to open up some gifts and then we ready for the big day tomorrow at Aprils house.i have mashed potatoes and Terria has Yeast rolls and Brandon is on Caramels and Cornbread duty in the morning. We are having them over in the morning for homemade breakfast burritos and coffee , juice and whatever else we can rustle up. Tomorrow also marks the 25th birthday of my oldest boy Brandon Gregory Duran, I can remember the day he was brought into this world, his mother and i were not speaking to each other at the time and she had my sister Linda in the delivery room with her while my son was being born. But regardless I am with my son and wife tonight, nearly 25 years after he came to us as an 8 lb baby boy with all the hopes i the world to be a happy young man. His mother and even I have made some mistakes along the way and for that i am eternally apologetic, his mother chose the path of least resistance and left us when he was 7 years old and chose a life with another man in Washington state, she still stays in contact with Brandon a few times a year and seems odd to me he hasn't received anything in the mail from her for Christmas or his birthday which is less than 20 minutes away now. But as i told her last time I saw her, she really missed out on the chance to enjoy a great kid, he has trust issues and other issues based on her abandoning him at such a young age and essentially has accepted his Mother's diminished role in his life, for this he is probably better off but it is his mother and i feel bad that he has no real relationship with her based on her choices! Be what may it has always been my job as his only real parent, until Terria came along to pick up his emotional pieces and to be his Rock throughout his life. I know he was very upset with me when I failed my marriage this past March through June 3 but we are rebuilding that bond each and every day, the time will come when we can look back on this as a growth and learning experience, but for now it is still too fresh and i let my oldest boy down immensely by my actions and have taken every avenue i know to make things right with Terria and my boys. Life is at times unfair and cruel and we don't always have control of things, very much like when Tracy left us both  and went about her own way and started her new life, but i did have control of how i dealt with it ad how i would later in a sense do the same thing putting my son through it all over again. Life, this precious life and all of it's cruelties and misgivings , sometimes at our own hands we can really be dumb and stupid at times, life also gives us the chance to make things right and to fix our shit eve when it seems too broken to ever truly get right ! Well I thank god for giving me the strength and the abilities to love and be loved , to share and give and be allowed to make mistakes and yet always come out on top and be  better than ever before ! So it is a thankful time for us all and we are so blessed to have the life we do, shared with the ones we love and the ones who love us in return. It is Christmas day here in my home and my boy is sharing the day with the Lord today and every other day as long as we live. it s a beautiful time to be alive and to share the blessing s with so many. Happy birthday Brandon and so nice to share the day with the Lord... good times and Merriest of Christmas to everybody i love and to those who love me back! Many special thought s to the less fortunate and those not with us today, we think abut them all of the time as they help us stay grounded and to reach out and help those with less than we have, and that we try to make a difference in somebody's life by giving of ourselves and reaching out to somebody who needs that helping hand. we have more than we need and at times more than a person should ever need! Love is good and life great, not all have that luxury that we take for granted . So i send out my best and deepest thoughts to all of those who are homeless and those who are sick, those who are non believers in the goodness of God and those who are not appreciative of the goodness that we are blessed with ! God night and Merry Christmas

Noon and Nothing Done Yet

It's 12 noon and I'm not out of the house yet, headed to Bally's with Terria and then headed to the base to hit Golf balls, the courses are too wet to really play the right way but we can hit balls off the mats at the driving range instead. Cannot believe I sat around for 3 hours doing nothing but be lazy since i awoke at 9 am and just lazied my ass off for the past 3 hours. Well it is time to motivate andn get tom the gym and get rid of this funk and blurriness that i feel . Brandon cleaned out the garage and made room for our hitting net , we can hit Baseballs from a tee or play soft toss, but also can turn it into a driving range and hit golf balls into it as well, really cool Christmas gift for all of us, Brandon was in there last night hitting and I took some hacks in there yesterday as well with both the bat and the club, still got my swing down and have never hit  a ball off a tee before  yesterday, felt really strange but probably the closest thing to golf going since the ball is just sitting there like a Golf Ball. well I am of to Bally's and then the Base with Terria Dactly or  as my friend Rudy used to say"Pteradactly" Hoping the Sun coninues to shine brightly on us today tomorrow and for the rest of our days, If not it sure feels like it !!

Growth, Perceptions and Realities

The Rain finally went way and won't be back til Sunday it appears. Tomorrow i will golf at the Base, Tim is golfing at a place that i hate to golf and is too expensive for somewhere i hate to golf so tomorrow I will golf at the Base with my coworker Richard instead. Tomorrow will be nice to see the sun for the first time in nearly a week, felt like Seattle this week and that's not all bad but I do love the sun and the good weather that we generally have in the Southern California area. So having just dealt with a week of bad weather seemed odd to us all but we are blessed to live in a great place where the days are 340 plus  good ones to the 20-25 bad ones if that, a bad day being a day without sunshine for us all. Good times tomorrow, all of the baking is done and we do have a trip to therapy tomorrow night as well which Will be a good thing, been 2 weeks since our last visit and am glad we can see Michael before the Holiday season officially is in effect! I have so much to be thankful for this season and Michael is one of them, i truly feel he has given me the ability to see my choices for what they really are... choices to either succeed or to fail, this is a decision that i have full control of and will either prosper in my efforts or as he puts it" fuck myself in the ass" by my failures. Much deeper than the affair I chose to have are the effects of my choices and my actions and how I arrive at them by  my thought process. Once I decide to do something I am able to see the reprocutions of those choices by forecasting the end result, either by seeing them as a good choice or a detrimental one that will help me to self sabotage myself by the aforementioned failures by poor decision making. My springtime affair was the manifestation of a lot of thing, but the damage done was in affect long before the affair and that is where the Therapy has helped me so much, to identify areas in my life and ways that my self awareness was lacking and i had no knowledge of these things, these were all secrets to me because i could not see what I was doing to myself as wrong since i had done it for so  long and was never truly given ways to fix myself, i was always able to fix others very easily but not able to focus on myself for reasons that are too numerous to try to explain here now. but lets just say that raising myself emotionally had finally caught up to me and that my coping skill for Greg were created through somebody else's eyes and standards, now that i understand this I can move on and get it right..hence the relationship with my mother always being strained. Being ok with that now and feeling no ill affects or guilt for not giving a shit about my relationship with my mother i am good with that. I  am not one of those guys that needs to be loved or liked, can function by myself and without anybody in my life be it a woman , or friends, but being blessed t have some of the best friends in the world and my Terria being Terria is self explanatory. Being the lucky recipient of an incredible person and human being, just so happens to be my incredible wife is really not so  much a mystery anymore, for a long time I would question how lucky i was to have so much love in my life and how everything just fell into place, not feeling worthy at one time would always question that gift and didn't always feel worthy of these wonderful gifts. Now that I understand how my life works and the dynamics behind it all, the fact that I am the most complex person that I've ever met ,is at times a little crazy , if not frightening but is not a scary as it once was! dealing with these idiosyncrasies is what will help to to adjust to dealing with the goodness and feeling the worthiness that a proud and honest person should feel at all times. I do feel good about where I am emotionally these days, spiritually I am working on becoming closer to the word of God but don't ever want to be that guy who thumps people over the head with it all. I don't believe in the fact that just because you can quote scriptures makes you an instant Christian, by that measure we could all be Christians based on our memory and our ability to quote the scripture itself, that's not what being a good christian is to me, moresoot of things, some by Terria and some by therapy and Michael, but knowing that i am human and so far from perfect allows me to realize that we as humans have so much to give and so much to learn and growth is happening all of the time. when you stop learning, you start dying! Good times and Good Night

WE Bake and watch the rain

It is definitely the hgoliday season, nobody knows how to drive, throw in some serious rain and really we are in a war zone amongst the roads! Just came in to work to do my time card online and saying hey to my girls at work, brought in Mcdonalds and let em at it . so nice to be off from work but really am working more at home than i ever would here. we cleaned the house yesterday and put my ass into a cardiac sweat, i don't even sweat that much at the gym, don't know why but mopping floors is a workout for some stupid reason. We are meeting, Terria and i ythat is at the gym after i leave here and then head home to start baking the cookies that we prepared dough for the other day. i'm really excited about out therapy session tomorrow, We are making another tin of cookies for Michael and he claims to be the original cookie monster so we shall see what kind of monster he is. As for the rest of the day i am going crazy with the anticipation of swinging a golf club again, been 6 days since i have been able to hit a real golf ball but it will happen tomorrow, we are supposed to get sunshine and get out in the sunshine and play 18 with Tim and his family, so really happy about that. Well need to input my time and head over to Bally's to meet Terria Dactyl and sweat some more before we get the Saurus Kitchen back in high heat again, Brandon made Caramels last night and is making butter toffee so we are in full Bake mode...til later I'm out!

Still wet in So Cal

Today brought more rain in the area, 5th day of rain and no sunshine for 6 days . Did some preparations of cookie dough for the next dew days and Terria made Biscotti's which turned out perfectly again! Did very little today, took Terria's car in for service and then to Breakfast and essentially that was our day, not too exciting but it is vacation time and I am so glad to be here doing nothing instead of feeling like shit recovering this time last year, so it is a good thing and the rain is a much needed thing here in the area and I don't have shit to complain about. My only hope is that we don't get too much rain in the area that will affect the Rich fuckers in the hills after the fires from last year, mudslides and erosion can become a problem but I suppose it is out of our hands at this point. I  don't truly know what we have on tap for tomorrow, whatever it is I'm staying away from the malls and the busy streets,especially in the rain where Socalians have no damn idea how to drive in inclement weather. When we were in Seattle this Summer, it rained a little and every other time I was in Seattle people always drove really well and had no issues with the rain, unlike us who never get the rain and when we do panic and really spaz out about wet roads. So whatever the case may be we are enjoying the time off this Christmas holiday season and look towards some nice family time over the next week or so, hoping that Brad makes it up from Baja to hang with us for a little and make us all laugh a little. So enough for tonight, trying to get back into my book, just finished Ping creator Karsten Solheims book and will get back into "the Gun",the history of the AK-47 really interesting story of the most available and the gun responsible for more deaths in the history of man. Over 100 million in circulation and that's a low estimate so the availability of this gun is readily!!!! Oh well don't blame the guns rights, blame the people who carry them! Good Night!

Alkaline Trio - This Could Be Love Live 2008

Brandon Got me into Alkaline Trio and I do love this kind of badass music, the good thing about being a young parent and being able to stay young mentally good fucking times!

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!

Good day of shopping and driving in the rain today,Terria ,Brandon Kristen and I ventured to the stores and then to the Valley for Pizza cookery lunch of the Best Pizza in the world and a great salad and sodas, had a nice drive home in the rain and even dealt with the damn Christmas Music Kenny rogers style on the way home...yuck. we ended up at the gym later this evening and stopped at smart and final to stock up on Baking supplies since we plan on making some cookies and caramels and other sugary treats for family and friends this Christmas day!  After midnight now and Tuesday morning is upon me now. Not much planned tomorrow, the rain is putting a real damper on the vacation so far but it's ok i guess, really want to be out Golfing and Terria needs the practice as well. Sp Not too tired and not much to write about , things are pretty damn good in my world and i cannot complain whatsoever and won't either ! Good Night and Good Times tomorrow and for the rest of my days!

Four Non Blondes - What's UP [Acústico]

Even better live... Nice Work sister!!!

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

I have alkways likes this song, kinda forgot about it but now I listen to it and remember how much i enjoyed it back when it was popular some 15 years ago

4 Non Blondes - What's Up

Right On, very nice

Hot Tamales

A Very Relaxing day today, spent mainly at Aprils house, watched the girls make Tamales and other goodies while we watched the Lakers and some Football, felt like a real Mexican Man today for some reason and chose not to help with the Tamales and sat back and did nothing. But the day was with family, my boys and my nieces and nephew were in attendance and of course the rest of my family, with the exception of Rich and Susan , they were missed. We ate a little too much and have sore stomach's as a result but the cost of doing business when eating this rich food. A very good day and we had a nice day and headed home after 7 pm and am just enjoying the music and the TV with the Golf Channel. doesn't really seem like a Sunday since we have no work for the next 2 weeks and don't know what to do with ourselves. It is raining outside and has been since late Thursday and is supposed to continue for the next 2-3 days, we have a family outing of Golf with Tim and his family on Thursday ad is supposed to be clear but cool on Thursday so that's a good thing. Have some shopping plans with Terria, Brandon and Niece Kristen tomorrow afternoon. We are looking forward to a trip to whatever stores they want to go to, I'm looking forward to heading to Dicks Sporting Goods in Moorpark to check out their Golf gear and the wood Bats. We bought a 7 foot enclosed net to hit Baseballs of the Tee or soft toss and it can also double as a Golf Driving range to be used by either Terria or myself, really nice and good idea to get in practice when we can't make it to the driving range or play the course. But i am really happy to pick up a Baseball bat for the first time in about 9 years and start to hit into the net, weather permitting hope to get out and throw the ball around with Brandon too and even try to break in the new Rawlings gloves i bought a few years back and have yet to properly break in, Heart of the Hide is some bad ass leather! So tomorrow will bring another day of relaxing and probably spending more money on the Holiday, next week will bring us better weather and more time outside to enjoy the southern California Sunny days that we pay so much to enjoy. good Times!

Alkaline Trio - Emma (Live acoustic)

Hell Yes, a very Good Version of Emma!

alkaline trio help me live

Another Trio gem of mine , thanks for the great music!

Alkaline Trio - Warbrain

Feeling pretty good today, this song and thia group put a smile on my face for sure ! Alkaline Trio Rules

Taylor Dayne - Tell It To My Heart (Extended Club Mix)

A Song from the way back machine, reminded me of the Black Angus Days and the fun that ensued from that place, learned alot about myself , and how to weed out the woman that are either the evil or the good in my life. it was fun practicing and trying to figure it all out. Young and dumb and oh so full of C--

What a Great surprise!

So Braz and Nikki show up to Terria's School this morning, Terria gets the call from the office that she is needed in the office "NOW" she shows up and heads into the principles office and lo and behold, our Boy Braz and his wife nikki noodles are in the office and surprised us all with a visit to California from the base in Honolulu Hawaii! Terria apparently screamed and cried and screamed some more and wept like a baby and Calls me immediately to tell me that somebody wanted to talk to me in her calm voice, she puts Braz on the phone and I say , like a dumbass, hey , are you in town...no shit right!! He says yes and i say hell yes son, are we meeting for lunch in Santa Paula today, he said sure and we met at the Irish pub in Santa Paula for a good lunch and a really good meeting with our boy and our daughter in Law. What a great Christmas gift and a really cool surprise to see our kids home for the holidays, they were originally denied leave over Christmas but then the order was changed and they figured that they would surprise us with a visit, they sure did and this is so nice and such a great gift to give momma for the holidays. the family will all be together again and that's what the season is all about, Love and spending time with the ones that we love and those who love us back. what a great holiday this will be for mom and dad, to see the kids interact as they have for the past 18 seasons is now complete. Even though terria is going to see them before they head out to Afghanistan in middle March, this is a truly great gift for us all. thanks God for giving us the gift of love and family and the faith to understand where it all comes from... You!!! What a great day it is and i am so happy right now. Prayers to all those who are not with their families this Christmas and to our troops in harms ways. Happy Holidays and merry Christmas to all of my Friends and family who know how much this season means to terria and I, it has been a very long progression of healing from the Accident this time last year to the subsequent mistakes that followed in the spring time! but we are here and it is now and we have pulled and tugged on our strengths through our God and have forged ahead as bigger, better and stronger people as a result of our trial and tribulations over the past 12 months. having our Kids home unexpectedly is the best gift ever, the family is whole and we will celebrate and commemorate our gifts from our Lord Jesus Christ. thanks family and friends for being with us every step of the way and again... the man upstairs for showing us the way! Good times !!!!

A Song, A thought, and the Gift!

Just ported my phone at my desk here at work and threw it on shuffle, This song comes on! What a great love song this is I swear!, this aint no Barry white Fuck you in the ass shit either, just a great slow love song!the opening stanza of my favoirite love song of all time.

It's late at night and we're all alone,
just the music on the radio
no one's coming
no ones got a telephone
just me and you and the lights down low
now we're slow dancin ,swayin to the music
slow dancin just me and my girl
slow dancin swayin to the music
no one else in the whole wide world- Johnny Rivers, "Slow Dancin"

Ok now that i have my pants on again and have wiped myself off I am so ready for the day and for it to be over and srat my 17 days of vacation to be coinciding with Terria's vacation from school so it looks like a great time is ahead of us this holiday season. today should be an easy day for us all , we have out office party today and tons of food and desserts, i made shortbread cookies with chocolate Ganache on top with almonds inside the ganache covering the tops of the shortbread cooking ,i call them shortbread turtles and they are by far the best cookies i have ever made to date. Tomorrow i will get in some golf somewhere somehow and then not really have any plans , maybe clean u the house a little, get the lawn squared away and then relax and find another book to read or something relaxing to do besides golf and the gym. spending plenty of time with Tim and April this holiday , my brother Richard has his wife's brothers and sisters down for the holidays for the first time in years so he will be in heaven with all of Susan's family  and would love to see them all again, such and incredible family they are. Hope to see my nephews and nieces on both sides and really am just looking forward to enjoying this season as last year i was still in recovery and ugly mode, this is a joyous and great time of the year for us all and to express my Christianity and faith in God without being over bearing and becoming that bible thumper which as most know i truly despise. So as far as I'm concerned the holiday season has already started and I'm in shutdown mode and just want to love everything that comes my way and hug the world today for it is a great time of the year and so many people are in good places this year and  feel like the world is revolving on it's proper axis. So i leave the morning with a happy thought, I have learned that the gift of giving is a wonderful thing, I've finally learned the opposite end of that gift is to be able and willing to receive and to cherish that which is given with so much love and adoration and not diminish the gifts by making the the giver feel that it pains me so much to be given so much unconditional love and admiration1 i know i would be devastated if Terria would not allow me to give and to do things from the heart, so i therefore open up my soul and heart to give and to receive and to never falter again by not allowing each other to be the loving, giving  souls that we were born to be. Great times and an amazing life we have shared together 

As Deserving as a Person can Be

A very Very Good morning, thank you terria for the awesome love that you give and give and give!!!Terria dd bring up some good point about a recent writing of mine from yesterday as a matter of fact and simply asked me "you wrote about at times you feel you are undeserving of the goodness and  at times also feel that you think you deserve more" I answered it the best way i knew how, Its when I feel grounded when I reach the point of feelignentitled and feel like there is more for me that i have yet to tap and explore! This very point is my achilles heel and was alway the point where I would go into a different dimension and as my friend Brad Holland would always say" Greg is the guy who is full and has a full plate yet still going back to the buffet line to add more to an already savory and full plate. Yes my greed and lack of focus and appreciation , be it a glimmer and a brief moment is when i know i am grounded, to be able to catch myself and realize that the bottom of the barrell is in my head and to quit scraping from that barrell and get back to the surface of reality. I hopefully answered my wife's question and didn't further complicate an already difficult persona that Isn't always easy to comprehend, hell I don't understand alot of the things I say or do so how could i expect others to be onboard a ship that really never sails in the right direction, and by that i mean, never goes according to protocol and the "norm". so all things being equal i am in a very god place emotionally and spiritually these day , just am being me and venturung beyond my comfort zone at times with the thought process and deep sea thinking that only I can never drown myself upon! so with that being said i  forge onward in my wednesday morning workday and hope the rest of the week for me goes quickly, well the last day for possible 2 1/2 weeks, I'm going to run it by Pete and see what he says, my coworker was scheduled to take the last week of December off and i am taking the prior week off , she cancelled her trip and doesnt need but 2 days of that week and meaning i could take the 3 days i was scheduled to work off and thus get 17 days off for 8 days of leave which i have 50 hours of use or lose anyway. so should be good, good times ad good day ahead definitely

My Baby Agnes

My day Juist got brighter, we are watching this on the flatscreen at work

Feeling a Little Drab today

Truly Lacking any motivation today at ll, the weather being dreary and cold might have soemething to do with that I suppose. Spent a very lackluster evening essentially solo in the TV room, rewad my book a little and then went to bed  at around 1025, early for me but fel the need to call it a night. well I shouldn't say spent time in the TV room alone, terria was there and she was practicing her swing and reading her new how to book  and asking the occasional question. Kind of a weird night either  way, Terria and Brandon made cinnamon hard candy and Brandon made more caramels and i was not really watching anything on the tube, even took a day off fro the gym yesterday , this would be 4 days off in the past month which is a 6 month period for me usually. So I need to re-evaluate my workout s because i almost hate going to the gym now and  find myself fighting to go after work, the gym here at work is a bummer and all of the equipment is really tightly packed together and the people there are all military with something to prove it seems. But it will come back to me and get back in the saddle and take it more seriously, must be the holidays season that has me with little to no desire to get out and do anything but Golf. But enough complaining about shit, the life i have is incredible and venting really helps me to reclaim the reality of things and to appreciate all it has to offer. There are days when I truly feel i don't deserve this and other days when i thin i deserve more, whatever the case may be i am a very lucky dude with so much around him and so many great things to be thankful for . My Health, my family and most of all my precious faith in God to steer me from the negativity that freely flows outside my doors! Hoping that a trip to Bally's with terria tonight will rejuventate my gym efforts and i know i cannot hit golf balls today as i am a sore dude for hitting too many on consecutive days. We do have a golf date set up with Tim and his family on the 23rd at buenaVentura at 8 am so that will be cool to see some of Tim's Family out there that i only see around the holidays! I am flying solo in the office right now, the girls went to the Exchange to get my movie despicable Me on DVD and i am so looking forward to watching that tonight for the third time, i love baby Agnes she is so damn adorable and a living doll in an imaginary way. I will take lunch at 12 today and don't know what is on tap for me as of right now? so the day will fly by the second half of the day I'm sure, i am trying to see if i can take a second week off from work at the end of this year , if I don't I will be off 10 days, come back for 3 and then be off 4 days so not making too much sense to do that , I'd rather just be off the 2 weeks and only be charged 6 days of leave, sounds like a good deal to me i think but will see if we have enough coverage for the holidays, if not I'm ok with the schedule the way it sits! I was just handed my copy of "Despicable Me" Yeay!!!!!

Rudy!!

So sorry To rudy for not being able to get this Picture to rotate properly but after numerous attempts and a computer ready to take a dump on me. But regardless a nice tribute to my friend and coworker Rudy romero who made me laugh and on his final cry like a baby after he was gone. i remmeber Terria and i going to UCLA medical center to visit him when he was being trated for his Leukemia, We rode up there on the motorcycles and were really escited ,yet dsurprised to see a thin and bald rudy with his wife and family all around him. He made it throug another 8 months and therapy and treatments were going well , he died form complication due to Pneumonia and the Radiatioin killed all of his good cells to fight the  rest, so he was a lofving , funny guy who loved his family and his grand boy Anthony, rudy umpired softball games for years and his Grandson is now umpiring in his Grandfathers honor at the age of 14! We all miss the personality and man we called rudy Romero, he never cared what people thought  and would say whatever he ewanted at anytime , no filter, sounds all too familiar to me and how i remember the golf outings and hoiw when he hit a good shot he would glow, when he hit a bad one he would glow even brighter. we all loved the character at work, he was a innovative guy who pulled shit out of his ass and usually was pretty accurate at it. I rememebr the numerous occations when we would do inspections, he would fail the tenant and charge them for whatever they damaged and would without hesitation come up with a figure of $283.64, yeah $283.64, It took everything i had not to laugh becuase there is no such figure, all of our service charges were even figures like 50 ,125, 225 , there was never any change at the end but rudy would come up with fees that didn't exist, he even created the handling and processing fee, he would charge labor hours and add them on for the time it took him to do the paperwork, thats where he says he came up with the dollars and cents amount! we all laughed and of course he would have to change the amounts to reflect the true amounts but he did everything for humors sake. Loved Rudy and think about him all of the time! I was blessed to meet rudy when i was an 11 year old playing little League, we played against his brothe ralex and we were rivals growing up, Rudy was 20 at the time and i do recall after a tough loss to his brothers team in the championship game i was pissing and moaning and throwintg my glove and just being an ass about the defeat. Rudy whom i didn't know came up to me and put his arm around me and told me " Hey man, it's ok, you played a great game and you're a great player, you need to calm down and enjoy these times, this should be fun for you" as i got older and his brother and i played on the same teams and went to the same High school and played football at Rio with him, his brother and i became closer, rudy was a good man who always had time to listen to a kid, we ended up working together in Housing in 1995 , we then grew really close and spent alot of time enjoying the days at work and the happy hours at times. The good old days, just reminds me how we must enjoy life everyday and we could all be gone tomorrow. Thinking of my friend Rudy today...again, hoping that he rest in peace today!  

My weekend and an old Friend

I skipped yesterday from writing altogether and felt weird in doing so, The day was full of a lot of things that kep t us very busy! Yesterday was really cool, we got up at 8 -ish went to the driving range for installation 2 of Terrias Golf Lesson and indoctrination to golf for my wife. On her first Day Saturday she did very well, making good contact and essentially doing what her body told her to do, making small adjustments and feeling the goodness of a well hit ball. Day 2 i added a few new wrinkles in to her swing, small slow increments so that I don't overload and lose her altogether. She did great and hit some nice balls, the more she swings the more flewxibilkity i can see , she will do really well and is doing well now with her progress. It was so nice to see the smile on her face when she hit a soilid one, and also very cute to see her dropping F-bombs on a mishit! We finished up with golf and came home and made lunch and sat around and talked of her golf experiences so far . WE all had some baking to do and she went to the store to pick up a few items for the baking  ,came back and we made nutmeg balls, shortbread with ganache, pistachio chip cookies and some really good caramels. I baked a Lemon Tart cake for my co worker angies birthday and brought that in and it sits on her desk wait for her to come in, she loves my chocloate cakes but Lemon is her favorite so i hooked her up with a really damn good lemon cake with real butter cream frosting and cocnut drizzled on the sides, the center and top are lemon filled and really tasty. So after we finished baking last night the power goes out,  at 630 pm, didn't com back on til 4 am and the Edison company was on the pole all night long doing their thing , really awesome, of course the dogs were excited and barked all night so sleep was at a premium but all was well, thankfully we finished the cookies and the cake and all was done , our dinner of baked potatoes and chili  were barely done when the power went out and we ate by candle light, not for romantic reasons but for sheer necessity to see where the plates we were eating from. Yes, the weekend was a blur and I was really busy doing cool stuff, we saw Tim and ape on Saturday, exchanged my old set of clubs and let hi try them out and even took my old set of pings out of the garage and cleaned them up  while using a flashlight to see and brought back old memories for me of golfing with my Deceased friend and co-worker Rudy who went with me in 1999 to get fitted for those clubs and used them through 2008 and have since bought 2 new sets of clubs in 2 years, now using the latest and greatest Ping G-15. but something about my first set of fitted clubs, and the memories of my old Friend Rudy are somehow engrained in my head. i still have a picture of Rudy at my desk and think about him all of the time, next to his picture i also have the memorial card from the the funeral home, weird but i do. Well it is a typical monday not everybody here today, and some running later than they should be, some are in class today and some just aren't going to make it which means i get more up front time to cover the front desk and phone which is cool and i enjoy interacting with my customers, it's what i do so well and enjoy that aspect of it! So Monday is here and I am looking forward to This thursday and the 10 days that follow of freetime to do whatever we want to do, terria has 2 weeks off after this week and we will do some golfing, some  shopping and some general love time that we always do! Here's to a great week and an even better holiday season. Life is good!

Nice Saturday

Up at 8 am and getting ready to meet Tim and April for breakfast at the cafe 126 in Ventura, I imagine we will hit balls after breakfast and give Terria  her inaugural lesson and introduction into the world of Golf. I know she's really excited about it all as am i and really hope she can progress the way she wants to and see increments of success each time out and improve and learn something new about the complexities of the Golf Game and the swing that can be so hard to get near understanding, it never gets mastered just refined enough to not drive you crazy, see the little white ball doesn't go anywhere and sits there mocking the golfer and when you hit it right it feels good and goes far, when you don't it goes crooked and at times can hurt the hands and arms and even the back. So today will be a patient journey into a new realm of discomfort and excitement all in one, the game of Golf is something that must be worked on daily and the successes are celebrated and the failures are ever present. It will be good to be out with my Terria enjoying the company and just another case in point of being together, like we did when we rode sportbikes fast together for all of those years just ending in 2008 for Terria when she had her foot operated on and couldn't shift anymore. So we will enjoy the time together, if she enjoys Golf she will do well, if not we will find something else to do together, as for me I am addicted to Golfing and do really well without ever having lessons, just became a real student of the swing and what works best for me, being a good athlete didn't hurt me either . So terria does have some athletic skills and is strong so we will see what happens . Today is another Great day in Saurusland

New Tools For Terria!

Now My Wonderful wife has entered the world of Golf and is very excited about hitting her new clubs tomorrow. Since Golf is now a higher fashion event than ever before with very colorful clubs and bags and gear of all sorts of designs and colors, we went with a very nice pair of Adidas Paula Creamer Pink Breast Cancer Awareness version of her Golf shoes, thesse should be in the mail tomorrow and we will hopefully get the chance to show her what We know, We being Tim and I  and we have lessons scheduled soon as well. So tomorrow embarks on a venture of cool proportions, hopefully Terria enjoys the game of golf and we can do this together forever 

Thursdays slow Start

Got up late this morning, no desire to get up and really even less to go to work, but the promise i made of Kapn Crunch coated french toast made me honor that promise and ended up at work 45 minutes later than i was supposed to be. I cracked the eggs , season the eggs wash , had my midget co worker Sabrina a My sous chef as she crunched up the cereal  and had the Texas toast ready to be dipped and then exposed to the cereal then friend up! while doing this I crushed some Blueberries and Boysenberries combined those in a reduction of sugar and water and made a syrup for the french toast, i did taste one and it was the best i have ever made and my crew was wowed by a simple thing that is very easy to make, the mess on the other hand and the clean up really sucks!!!! i hate the cleaning aspect of cooking, but i love to cook more than i hate to clean up after myself. The girls offered to clean the kitchen after I was done but I wanted them to relax and enjoy their meal and not to trouble them with my mess! so we are in weekend mode already, going to look at Golf clubs for Terria tonight and hopefully can bring home something tonight for her Christmas present, then will have to look for cool pink shoes and she already bought herself a really nice pink Glove and can be seen practicing her swing not only outside in the front yard  but in the house while we are watching the golf channel in the TV room, so damn cute and adorable. speaking of cute ,"despicable Me" is coming out on DVD here soon and i so love that movie and my adorable Agnes" it's So fluffy I'm gonna die" she really made this year special for me and if i ever had a little girl she would be that cute i know! Got 15 minutes til i run up front and watch the front desk, look forward to lunch today  can further work on my golf swing that is almost where i want it to be, felt really good hitting the balls at lunchtime, then a short quick workout after work, a short 30 minute circuit training felt really good. Tonight we have Morales and therapy, we baked him Monster peanut butter,oatmeal,m&m, chocolate  chip cookies and thus are called monster cookies for they are ass kicking pack a big assed punch when you eat them , and you wear them the next day believe me! Well i am starting to ready for the front, i'm rading a new book and it's about the Creator and inventor of Ping golf Clubs, Karsten Solheim, a great story and a very great philanthropic man who was not only a great inventor but a really good human being who has brought many great innovative ideas to golf and is widely copies by every other brand since his copyrights has expired here recently. another great read along with my AK-47 book , another great read! Well i am off to the front and will check back later

Me and My "BITCH" session

Just cruised over to Facebook for a look over the fence and really wonder i why i even bother anymore, what a pool of nothingness that place has become. I don't really post anymore and only respond to friends when they post something but have no real time or desire to implant my wisdom on that site anymore, moreso ,i save my efforts for this place. my home away from home that follows me wherever I go and never questions what i do, who i am or what the fuck is wrong with me! just goes along and allows me to be me and that's what i do best, being Me, as fucked up as that can be at times I am good with it all. Not too much happening here at work, reading and watching how Obama is selling out to the republicans and allowing the tax cuts for the rich to continue on and in the end be a 4 trillion dollar bill to add to the already high deficit, trying to play nice with the Republicans is ok, but when you compromise the future of the country to appease those which we know now run this country it's really sad, he went on his campaign with the Change idea, well nothing has changed but the poverty levels and the out of work numbers  which aren't his fault  but this tax think really is irking even his own party of Democrats and many people like myself who don't really get involved in the fray but to see the obvious mistakes being made here are very troublesome to say the least. so enough fucking Politics, they go on whether i think about them or vote ,or don't vote, this country is in a world of hurt and when people like the Kardashians and Jessica Simpson and Sarah Palin are all multi millionaires with no talents or skills to speak of other than being whores than i guess we are one step closer to becoming a 3rd world country. I am so sick of the garbage that we as Americans must tolerate , first off with our TV and the social lack of intelligence when it comes to common sense anymore. the Schools are so under funded that the Prison Fucking system has a higher ratio of dollar spent per person than the schools do and With the cuts to the schools, the Prisons keep on keeping on and see no cuts at all and get better medical care than half of Americans and get fed 3 times daily , not all working people can make that claim, how retarded is that in our society where the Criminals well being takes precedence over the future of our country, the children and our schools??? This is turning into a real bitch session and i don't like that too much but the truth of it all is that we are breaking down as a country , a society and as people to lowest common denominator when we compromise our lives and our standards to appease the rights of those who should have no rights, don't get me started on Immigration either that's a sore subject with me as well and we spend way too much money and time and effort debating that fucking debacle,America, the entitlement country,fuck that , we can't even take care of our own and now we have to take care of an another countries problem's, then these people fly around town with their Viva Mexico and their Michuacan stickers and flags on their cars as if that is the greatest place on earth, yet this wonderfully fucked up country that they salute cannot even support their families and or put food on their tables so they must invade ours to make it all happen. I'm sure if we were in the same predicament we would do whatever it takes to survive and feed out families but at what point do we not make Mexico accountable for the high cost of guarding our borders and deporting and having illegals on federal and state programs helping to feed their families with our tax dollars?? i'm confused here and maybe am not smart enough to understand the dynamics of the countries immigration policies or the political and humanistic demands thrust upon our government, but i do see this country's future as a grim existence and i do see where the working man gets penalized for working, so many on welfare and so much abuse of a system that was designed a s temporary fix. Now welfare recipients should be held accountable to assist us  since we have assisted them , why not take these welfare families and utilize whatever skills they have to work them at schools, stores , as daycare providers to help pay back those who have supported the working class people, the rich are taken care of already with their wealth and the now famous tax breaks. I'm sure somebody would view this as inhumane to make people work what what they get , WOW! kinda like you and i going to work everyday, but they would call it slavery, we call it earning your keep and the debate would go on forever,I want this country that so many fought so hard and still fight for our freedoms, yet we have lost the plot and lost sight of the big picture of what we were founded on. the hands are seemingly always out for the freebie and i am tiring of it already. Who knows , maybe i need a switch of venue, Maybe terria and i should buy that house in Glendale AZ and start anew with A different set of issues and 120 degree summers, Terria would take a 25k paycut as would i but the housing is cheap and dollar for dollar would be cheaper to live there. Seems like we are always dust in the wind anymore, hey a song by Kansas is thrown in there...lol!!! But the truth be told , we have one life to live and really much search to find that inner peace, be it here or somewhere else there is always more than a dozen ways to skin a cat, not unhappy here, just the person who questions everything and wonders if there is a golden rainbow somewhere else in this world!!!!For now i have spewed too much ,bitch Session officially over!

My Friend Richard

Just spoke to my friend and co-worker of 17 years Richard about his recent break up from his Girlfriend. he seems to be in a good place and he actually asked her to move out of his house as she continued to be insecure and always accused him of cheating even though they spend every minute together, to the point where he said when do i have a chance to cheat , we are always together and she accuses him of not going to work and spending time with some Facebook  people he has as friends, all of which are lifelong family friends, that would be like me having being accused of an affair with Debbie a longtime friend of the family and having her as a Facebook friend and being accused of doing something indiscretionate with her....as if. So her Insecurity was her downfall and Rich did the right thing by escaping that deadend relationship, granted they have a child together and that will not change the good daddy he is to baby Lylee. He is 41 and no need for him to continually be the daddy to a 30 year old so called woman who can't clean or pick up her own shit and always ragging on his ass about his OCD and the fact that the baby will soon crawl amongst her filty lifestyle is a big concern to Rich. So Rich is in a better place, was kind enough to move her stuff out and said his goodbyes,i told him that he needed 50% custody and to take the baby either alternating weeks or break up the week and do alternating 3 and 4 day shifts with alternating weekends fit in there. I did suggest that he draw something up and at least get it notarized so that he can have proof that they agreed upon this and that they each will support this baby 50% Emotionally,physically and financially! He agreed and she does not want to go through the court system and wants to arrange their own agreement which is fine for now but I fear that she will draw him into court at one time or another, just her personality, especially when he starts dating other woman and finding somebody else, then it will kick in and she won't be feeling too good about him moving on, he will always be the Baby's daddy and a good one too, he is a good kid and actually sees my therapist weekly and has an appointment tonight which is a good thing to help him with the closure of this relationship, Morales did tell Rich that she would not be a permanent fixture in his life and would one day move on , he was right, i am glad that Rich kicked her ass out and that he called this shot and was tired of raising 2 children. so i was glad to talk to him this morning and know he is in a better place. Well the morning is in full force , i made fried potatoes and ham,cheese and onion omelets for the crew this morning, tomorrow i am making Kapn Crunch coated French toast and maybe some sausage to go with it, don't rightly know yet but it will be good whatever i make for them. love being appreciated and love to cook for those who truly enjoy eating well made food! So the morning is bright and sun is still shining upon me today, i hope the day progresses quickly, i want to hit balls at ;lunchtime and then go to the gym at Bally's after work. coming up on the 10 am hour her in about 30 minutes, i sit at the front desk from 10-12 and then go to lunch , enjoy the day and working in this office and it's laid back and carefree attitude, i do appreciate the goodness that is bestowed upon my life both at home and here at work, too much to truly comprehend and I do give thanks to God for everything I have and everything i have been privileged to experience in my relatively young lifetime. so here's to a continued great day and hope the sun does peak through for everybody this fine day.. good times!

Pearl Harbor

A day to remember for all of us, although it happened long before i was born it did impact my family, after they bombed pearl harbor the Japanese invaded the Phillipine Islands where my dad was stationed and serving, the had to surrender there, after they fought til they couldn't fight anymore and ran out of supplies to hold off the japanese onslaught. My dad then was taken POW for 3 1/2 years and came back a changed and bitter man, left to suffer through torture and through a Govt. that made them sign papers that said they were not tortured and mal nourished, all lies but our Govt was as corrupt then as it is now. So he comes home and gets half ass care and cant even get service connected disabilities , they gave him 300 bucks a month for his service and he had ,back, troubles and phycological issues as a result, he came out of POW camp at 87 pounds, 87 mother fucking pounds and he was one of the stronger ones. This always gets my ass hot when i see hwere weas Americans treat our heroes past and present like shit, yet we payed reparations to the Japanese interned during WW2 to the tune of 30k per person, yes it was wrong to hold thenm hostage but they were well fed and not beaten daily and did not have to work in the coal mines for 15 hours a day like my dad and his troops did. So i feel no remorse when we dropped the bomb and xerox copied these mother fuckers, yes innocent people were killed but my dad was innocent as well and was let down by the country he loved so much. I send out my love and admiration to all of those people who died at Pearl Harbor and to those who died in that war, and to the past and current soldiers who have devoted their lives for our country ad the freedoms that we all share because of that freedom that they help preserve. today is an Anniversary that we will never forget and hope that we can use this a s a spring board to better ways of doing business for all Americans!

My New Favorite Player

Being a lifelong Rams Fan and an afficionado of the linebacker position, my New Favorite Player in the world is James Laurenaitis, I love this kid and love the way he plays and acts and is all business but is a really good guy as well, still calls him momma everyday and is a beast on the Field. i watched a special on him a few months back and thought of him while we were in St Louis this summer for Braz's graduation and knowing he lives in a regular community and not really that flashy makes me like him even more. i did follow him at Ohio State and knew he was a beast then , i watched his performance at the combine  and was so happy and surprised that the Rams got him when they did, or even at all,he has been a starter as a rookie last year and is really doing a great job this year. at the Game on Sunday he was in on almost every play and near the ball when he wasn't on the tackle, a good sign for  alinebacker , especially the Middle backer , the quarterback of the defense isa always the Middle backer. So I already put in my order for my #55 Jersey and will make it a point to go to see the Rams when they play either san diego, Oakland,Phoenix or San francisco, maybe a game next year in St Louis too. I am so into the Rams this year and have ben a life long true fan, through the roman gabriel times and Eric dickerson era in LA ,to the Kurt warner erain St Louis, They are still my team and nobody can take them away from me ,even if they move 2000 miles away! Go Rams and go Sam  Bradford, Stephen Jackson, and My man James Laurenaitis! The Rams are 6-6 and tied with Seattle for the western division right now, an 8-8 season would be alike a superbowl win for this team that went 1-15 last years, what a differenc e ayear makes and the new QB Bradford  is a stud in his rookie season, didn't make any mistakes on sunday, threw the ball away when therer was nothing open and played smart all game long!! I'm really glad that my team is in contention , and if they make the playoff will be a minor miracle!

Morning Full of Nothingness but goodness

A real Nice Day in Socal this morning, looks like mid 60's today and the sun is bright this am.  Came into work as the first one through the door today, empty office, got some breakfast started for the crew, fried potatoes and bacon with Onions and scrambled eggs, very good, had a little and then came to my desk, the LA times is being read and looking at the dodgers winter meetings possible trades in the works. Read where ex Dodger Jayson Werth just got 18 million for 7 years topping out over 120 million plus for in my opinion a better than average player and not deserving of that kind of money, but we now know why the Nationals are in last place, bad business deals!!!! Other than that the day is doing what it will do, drag a little , write a little , read a little ,very little going on today. Drinking a Rockstar at 8 am and feeling the affects, gotta run to the boys room and download and empty out the tank immediately.Ok......... back from that Debacle and feeling better now , have some unrest in the office as of tis weekend, we have Jeannette's mother in law who passed away yesterday and her Husband being ugly towards her, nothing new in that realm .typical Black man with a white woman syndrome and a girl with no self -esteem to stand up to Nig Nog mentality of being the bully. I'm no racist but this is the type of jive ass i despise but she has choices and has made bad ones. One of those cases where living together for years and deciding to get married and have another child thinking that it would fix it all, now he is in debt and dragging her down with her ,lost their house and now he owes 20k in back taxes as he wasn't paying federal taxes for 3 years... Dumbass! Then we move to my friend Richard who just had a baby with his Girlfriend, and that relationship never stood strong, he moved her into his house and she lives with him for 500 a month which includes utilities, always told him if she's your woman make her pay half that way it equal, he never bought into my advise , well she would always tell him that she was a convenience for him and he only moved her in for the money he was getting from her,not thinking at all that he was saving her at least a thousand buck a month by moving her in. He is a great dad with his daughter and loves her to death but she was never content and always nagged at him and threatened she would leave because he always get on her for being a slob and how she hires a cleaning crew to clean up her mess instead of doing it herself, even to the point she has the crew fold and put her clothes away that are clean and all over the floor, Richard is OCD clean freak and doesn't do well with that and has always covered for her by picking her shit up, not anymore ! He kicked her out this past weekend and finally had enough of her bullshit, Rich and Lu are actually going to my Therapist and she suffers from Princess mentality where she feels entitled to a certain lifestyle and thinks she rich and blows money on shit, even wen taint debt to buy a Mercedes to look the part, has a business degree and thinks her shit is better than his. So Rich is free of her and hope he fights for 50% custody of his baby and i will testify to his abilities as a father. so I am a little worried about him and that he will bounce back ok . More drama on the braz front, he's having sneaking suspicions that his young wife is cheating on him again  and can't trust her but doesn't want to quit on her either, he's in a bad place and i tried to tell him that if there is no trust , there is no relationship, move on and start over and do not have any kids with her until you guys get your shit straight, if ever!!! So we are holding on to the fact that he is readying for Afghanistan in late march now and has that cloud over his head, and now has to worry about one of his own troop mate as the opponents in regards to his wife, he could go up his chain and get them both kicked out for fraternization but he has a kind heart and would not want to do that to her, blind love, stupid love , whatever the case may be he needs to get his focus on before he goes into war. I just sent Sabrina to the Starbucks to get me some burnt coffee to start the morning off right and am treating the office to Starbucks, so I get employee of the month for December, why, because i just gave it to myself for the 12 straight month and have the parking spot right next to the back door, as i have the past 12 years since we moved to this building...Good Times I am feeling and good life i am living , I can be such a dick but people love me anyways , i guess people don't always mind hearing the truth and non PC goes allot further these days... more later

I Love A Rainy Night-Sorry Eddie Rabbit

Rain,Rain  Go Away!

A Tour Of University Of Phoenix Stadium

A Good Shot of the beautiful Stadium in Glendale Az.

Weekend of living!,Loving , and being Happy

A really extraordinary weekend in Arizona,perfect weather and a really good time at the football game. Had  quite the short trip but made every second count and truly enjoyed the conversations and the laughter that i shared with my wife all weekend long. The game was a good chance to get away and be at a place that we both love and adore, the fact that we were there together made it even more incredible. We toured a few of the Baseball training facilities and went to the dodgers facility in Glendale Az and she was amazed at the manicured fields all year round. I plan on going again this year for 3-4 days wit Brother and brother in law and hope to see as many games and practices as we can, i actuality enjoy watching the drills and the hitting  more than the games, playing Baseball and knowing how hard the hardest single thing to do in sports, to hit a baseball solid, what they say is true, trying to hit a round ball with a round bat ,squarely is truly an amazing feat when done properly. After the dodger camp we went across the street to loom at some new properties oddly enough called Camelback and we toured 4 different models, looking at maybe a rental home or a vacation property for spring training and cardinals football, not to mention the world class golf that is in the area. so yeah seruiously looking at this to see what the options could be, if nothing else a tax write off and a place to stay eventually. The newest venture on the pike here is terria, and her affection for golf, she says she wants to learn how to play and wants clubs for Christmas, instead of an apple ipad and anything else, been bidding on ebay and losing on ebay for her clubs and Will take her to golf smith after the gym tonight, which is conveniently next door to Bally's !Now that the holiday season is truly here we are bombarded with the traffic and the bad drivers and stupid people who invade our territory. People actually fighting for a spot to park and anger sets in this time of year when it should be a joyful time with love in the heart???? But human nature always wins in the wars of  humanity and the selfless acts of the previous 11 months of the year go out the window. So we will try to do our limited outside Christmas shopping to a minimum this year, everything else will be done online and that is the way i've done it for years not very personal, but the idea of me kicking the shit out of some dumbass who gets in my face about a parking spot or the last fucking Furbee aint worth it to me. So tonight we look at clubs for T, come home and make a great dinner of something healthy and carry on with our Monday as usual, 7-8,I watch 2 1/2 men  and the  at 9 i watch the new episode on CBS. Other than that i am thrilled that the Ducks are doing well and that they play auburn and Cam Newton in what should be the best championship game ever, i like the ducks in this game and they will rise to the occasion i feel it inside. so to all a very Happy Monday and a very cautious and safe Holiday season, drinking and driving everywhere and not too happy about the reprocutions of that at all. but we hope and pray that the holiday seasons bring the goodness intended to all and that the new year be as prosperous as the previous, maybe even a little better! God bless!!

What a View!

The seats are actually better than the camera indicates and really had a perfect view from the Rams sideline. the game was a yawner really but the experience of this great place to watch a game and being wity Terria celebrating her birthday was the great part of it all. On the drive home it was relayed to me that when we go to game sthat she wanted at least this good of view from here on out. Ok i say , and they better be playing a so so team like the Rams then it will be possible! Thanks again for an incredible weekend Terria Lynn

Pat Tillman

This guy is a hero to me and many othe ramericans, gave up his pro football career to joing theArmy and was killed by friendly Fire"the Pat Tillman story is a much watch movie, very compelling story of our Govt. and it's treatment of good people!I'm Glad the Cardinal organization recognizes him as the hero that he  truly is

Raining Hard on the Road Now "lemme drive"

The weather has taken a real ugly turn it's rAining good now and I'm tryingto get Terria to let me drive from here bug she being stubborn so we shall see but apParently its raining throughout most of California so we need it I know "oh Honey can I drive now" raining buckets now....yikes

I'm. A Dumbass

File this Under fuck the iPhone to try to blog from its not worth frying to do I swear. So when I get on my xomputer I will clean up the mess that this keyboard with big fingers at the help. Fuck!!!

Game Over, Rams win,great Time!

The game ended about 515 local time or 415 our time and we Proceeded on our way were. On the road by 5 and making great time so far. Terria T the wheel after my 200 mile first leg of the trip home. Not a great game but a Ram victory and am very happy and feel bad for Derek Amderson he really stunk it up today and was benchd for the second stringer max Hall who then got hurt and rather then Put Anderson back in he went to a 3rd stringer some kook named Skelton who did ok but they need a QB bAdly. A really touching scene at the end of the game was watching Oregon state grads Stephaen Jackson from the R
O f the Rams embrace former college teammate Deeek Anderson who was obviously down in the dumps after probably his last snap as a Cardinal QB very nice touch of class by Jackson the embrace lasted over a Minute really cool to see terria was happy with the seAts and the trip and we were in hog heaven took her by a couple of the sSpring training sites really cool we even stopped and did some house hunting in a develoement acrossfrom Dodgers camp in Saddleback and did a tour SP damn cheap at 130k for a 3 and 2 1/2 bath Brand new so we will crunch numbers and see what we cAn Do about that for a rental property one vAcation house for golf and football and spring training games. Who knows ? Great trIP and more tCme wane. N van oat my pIcs from my computer and not this damn iPhone small. Screen more when I get home about 1030 tonight

The Big Silver Cupcake

I affectionately call this place the Big Cupcake, my wife calls it the Cardinal Nest, i like my term better only because the nest only works when you're team is good, this years they suck and well without my hero Kurt Warner they are less than mediocre. So expecting a Ram victory tomorrow but more so a great day on the 35 years line with my Terria having a great time together cheering for our respective favorite teams! A long day tomorrow, starts at 9 am ,make and eat breakfast in the room and thehn head out to the stadium about 11-ish and try to blend into a tailgating party somewhere, going to be hard with a Cardinal Fan and a Ram fan, Terria will be wearing her Fitzgerald Jersey #11 and well there will be no sight of any Rams tailgaters without getting their asses kicked. We did get a beautiful room with a kitchen and nice amenities for $49 per night, very nice work desks and a recliner in the corner for me. I will take some pictures tomorrow of the beautiful stadium and facility that the Cardinals use. We are 3 blocks away from the Peoria and Surprise facilities used by the Brewers for Spring training in February and March, looking forward to that this Spring. Good night!

The Road to Utopia, ok....Arizona

Hour 5 of the 6 hour drive to Glendale Az and what an ugly day it is. Terria at the wheel and this iPhone sizzle to type on but that's alright its good in other areas so whatever. Can't wait ti get to the room and shower and relax a bit our room has a kitchenettes so we will have a choice about dinner tonight. Wonder what kind of Parry Branson will have tonight while were gone? He will be fine with the house that much I know so still roadwaed towards Glendale and seems like we should ne there by now as it feels like I've been typing 3 days so far....wow I gotta get used t this thing and quick otherwise Terria gets it and I get the Blackberry back awaiting to get back on my Mac air in the room. Good day for now and hoPefully get some go of AZ game pictures tomorrow. More later

Very Quiet!

Really have nothing to add or share today, a very nice Birthday celebration for Terria's birthday and a very quiet day today, so i really am shutting it down for now not much to write about and not much energy to do so. Tomorrow we head out for Phoenix and the Football game on Sunday, heading back after game and going to work on Monday. Look  forward to a nice trip and a real good game.  This weekend should bring some real good pictures and something to write about and a rest from writing through a writers block for  now

Happy Birthday Terria Lynn

Today marks the 13th birthday celebration for me with Terria, not our anniversary but been with her for 13 birthdays and today is her 46th. Seems a little uninspired by it all as do i generally for my own birthdays. So here i sit wondering what we will do tonight, she doesn't want to go out for her dinner , she wants to stay home, no family or friends and I'm doing whatever she wants me to do. so assuming that i will cook something for dinner tonight, either scallops or some really good seafood of some sort, since she can't eat red meat anymore I am stuck with chicken or seafood dishes for her and actually prefer cooking those types of dishes as they allow for a certain level of creativity that i enjoy. so As i contemplate the menu for this evening I am trying to see where I can buy the goods for the meal tonight, i will give the cursory cal to My wife and ask for any special requests, and then when she says Surprise me, i will go into my creative mode and think of something really good for the occasion.  Really funny how she is the only woman i have ever been with that downplayed her birthdays and never truly wanted large gatherings and a whole lotta fanfare to accompany her Birthdays. Be as it may I am so very happy that we can celebrate it together and whatever we do is the least important thing in the equation but doing the day and night as one is where we are in life, so good and so proud of the work we have done to get where we are. I know that I am at times very complex and harder to understand, even more so as i get older, my requirements and thresholds are so much different that ever before.  But having Terria as my companion is a real asset in that i can lean upon and run things through her and she never wavers in her honesty and articulated answers. This holiday will be a new experience for all of us, we will be essentially flying solo this Christmas with Braz and nikki being in Hawaii, Ty has essentially checked out ad is living with his Girlfriend, Brandon who is living at te house is very quiet and unassuming in his demeanor and really hard to tell if he's home at times. so Terria and i are left to our own devices at most times and enjoy the solitude of each others company, terria's strained relationship with her psychotic mother has allowed her to break away from walking on eggshells with her mother and she can now not have to be at her mother's beck and call and deal with her eccentricities at nauseum anymore, her mother's choice to make tit this way and we are all good with it. her mother has in a sense become what her mother was, an embittered old woman who truly thinks that's she's special for not what she does, just that she is and she exists therefore she is special, not in this lifetime Lady , and her treatment of her perfectly wonderful daughter is criminal to me. but we are in a better place as a result, sad to think that there are people so who think and live so negatively and assume that the world owes them their just due. Well, when reality sets in and you die and grumpy old person with 3 people by your side then your life has been a bitter disappointment i would think. For now , we live in the positive and the goodness that we share and have been allowed by god to enjoy on a daily basis, forever growing towards bigger and better things without haste or without  condemnation but truly allowed to enjoy our life's as they are, very simple and very enjoyable together. So i wish a very Happy 46th birthday to my girl and my special Lady Terria, Gods has blessed us with the life and understanding that we will share til our parting days, i plan on enjoying each and every one to the fullest degree. Have a wonderful day sweetie, I love you so very much!

December and the holidays of Life

A new Month is finally upon us and December officially ring in the holiday season for yours truly. I keep beating this Horse to death but i take myself back a year and remember the accident and the fact that i was still in the hospital trying not to bleed to death, terria and the family by my side and just wanting to come home and recuperate in the comforts of my own home. Well that would finally happen come on the 5th of December and all seemed to be on the mend. 23 days later i would be back at work trying to get through the days without falling asleep and fighting the entire day. throughout this whole time i was not on twitter or facebook and didn't even turn my phone on until late December. so this time of year really gives me a sense of appreciation for i know where i was last year and the condition that i was in was very scary to say the least, very trying time for the family and i was there just absorbing the pains that i inflicted. I was just talking to Terria about the fact that I prayed efveryday for the Lord to take care of my family and never to heal me or to make things easier for me, at that tome i knew my christian faith was in the right place and the life that i would see the new year would be a great one, and it was , a few hiccups and a few mild if not turbulent storms that i created but the weather man was kind and we are enjoying the sunshine each and everyday from here on out. Yes, December rings in the joys of the holiday where love of family ,friends and the  Lord are celebrated with the ones we love and the ones who love us! Christmas at the holidays for us has always meant family, friends and the cheer of a very low key christmas season, we don't do the tree or the lights in my house, that to me is not what christmas means to me, i know the term Bah humbug always gets thrown my way but if you weren't in my house to see the lack of festivities via decorations than you would never know it, i do love the holidays  true intended meanings, the gifts and fanfare are not for me, but the togetherness that it brings is what truly moves me. we have no little kids around so we treat it like another day in the duran household and each day is celebrated with the love that usually gets celebrated around the holidays , but everyday for us, never wavering always a festive season emotionally, that is what the accident has brought me, the love and awareness to know that we can lose it all today and each day above ground is not only a blessing, but an opportunity to make a difference in somebody's life and world, for this i hope I have and can make a difference in this world by the love and kindness I have been blessed to give on a daily basis. all of my gifts are repredsented by the man upstairs and has given me the opportunity to be different and yet very conventional in the giving aspect of my life. We have things that happen in our lives, to us , around us , sickness in family and friends yet to date we are blessed with health and the second chances to make amends when we make wrongs, the ability to improve upon thins that were never broken and to enjoy the things that money can never buy.. love and happiness amongst all that we come into contact with on a daily basis. I truly feel that I have been been installed around here to bring a certain something, a calm when it needs to be calm and a storm to shake things up,for this I just say i gotta be me and the filters that so easily get wiped away from myb thought process are being dealt with as well in the forms of therapy and counsel, but this is a great time to be alive whether or not i agree with the shit going on in our world ,the political dogshit republican party  or the sarah Fucking Palins of this world the Paper christians who really don't get the meanoing of being a good christian means you must forst ,be a good person??? But the fact that we are here and are well shows us a great resolve in that we are here to make a difference where we can, know when we cant and learn to fight lifes battles as they come, some of which we walk away from when we know the gains aren't worth the effort. more later , for now i have been tasked to make breakfast for the office