Both Sides Now

 There are many songs that I associate with Terria

Most of them now make me sad

Well I found the song never before connected to her

I came across an old song tonight

I have never cried so hard and felt so sad until now

Joni Mitchell's "both sides now"

No reason why it hurts more than the others

It just hurts and I don't like this sadness

I'm sad for me when I should be happy for Terria's freedom from pain

As I sit here overthinking my grief

I hope she is ok and better than before

A simple song brought out the last drop of pain I have

I sit here and pray for a chance to right my wrong

If she reads this someday

I hope she realizes how bad i feel for ruining her world

I'm ok with ruining mine, I'm a waste of space anyway

But I didn't have to hurt her like I did

Enough pain and sadness has been shared

I would end my life before I hurt her again

Now I'm existing in uselessness

I'll play that song to remind me where I am

As I struggle daily to make it through

I think of your goodness and how blessed I am

To spend my life with such a gift

I miss you so much and live with this loss

Thank you so much Terria

God blessed me with you!