I've Lost

 I can't even begin to describe my loss

I can't even try to tell you my pain

The loss and pain over again

Daily reminders of where I had been

I reach out but you're not there

I assume you no longer  care

I remind myself I'm to blame

It should be a different tune I'm playing in my head

I miss the sounds and names we made up

The anticipation of your arrival

I see you walking through the door

Those days aren't coming back anymore

I miss the wild rides along the coast

The conversations that I loved the most

Sharing thoughts and sharing dreams

Our children playing and happy screams

Thinking about the home I was born into

So many thoughts of my mom and dad

My siblings and the family dog

You now own our house and my little Drew Dog

They say forgiveness can be a timeless thing

Setting me free and the joy it would bring

You're still angry I get it, I do

My world seems empty when there's no YOU!

I live with my choices and my regrets

My sun still rises but never sets

I'm awake all night with thoughts and remorse

Infidelity and a painful divorce

I miss the love you gave to me

The world was mine for all to see 

Life lost it's innocence and became really dark

I'm a soul less man living in some park

The trips, the drives the nightly talks

Have become writing in a journal and feeling really small

I shed my armor and show my hand

I'm a cripple now trudging through the sand

Why do I feel I deserve this plight

I'm ok with it because its just and seems right

Punishments for years of being an asshole

I told you so, I told you so!

I've lost most everything that matters

Our dreams are lost as we find a new way

To my little ones who never said goodbye

Your PAPA says sorry but I tried really tried

To everything I have lost

To Everything I miss

I will leave my mark in all of the wrong ways

I will always try to be "The OTHER ME"