Fucking Funk-Good Riddance

Was feeling really low this morning and could not shake whatever it was that was troubling me. I did my normal thing at work ,did my shift up front, met a lady who set an appt to meet with me and that went well, did my normal customer relations job that i do so well. Yet something was missing from the word Go this morning, could not sleep last night til 230 am and was feeling groggy this morning as a result, went into work an hour late and just couldn't get my head around whatever it was that was plaguing my spirits. I went to the gym at lunchtime and had a great workout and hobbled around a little , felt a few twinges on each knee today and cannot wait til DR' O MRI's my ass and gets to the bottoms of my shit. I cannot wait til i can get out and run the beach shores again and play in an adult hardball league. My legs are in the best shape of their life and have worked really hard to stay in decent enough shape to get me through 2 surgeries on my knees. so while I'm working out today in a fog and feeling a little depressed i must have triggered some thoughts to create some sort of pity party for myself. Listening to the Blackberry music library in my ears I heard sad song after sad song and I'm thinking to myself, WTF is going on here , Suspicious minds comes on and I'm ready to cry like a pussy, then it finally dawned on my stupid ass, I'm leaving for the East coast on Thursday and I already have gone into I miss My Terria mode , WOW, it was a relief to figure it all out and i know She will miss me as much. funny how we are so connected, as we always have been but more so recently we cant really be apart for more than an hour without feeling kinda funny, a void a loss or whatever it is but the reliance on her has started to make me wonder if I my trip was timed properly and if I should be away! and of course I answered myself with Dumb ass take your trip and enjoy your friends and Terria Will always be there for me as Will i for her. After the gym and a shower i regained a sense of re-assurance in myself to know that i still think like a flawed man and troubled soul and was never able to admit that i had issues or feeling ever before. My departures have given me a sense of awareness and understanding that Greg Duran has a lot of great qualities but has a lot of work to do yet in making himself,his wife and his kids and family the focal point of the universe. After a post i made on FB this morning I stated that there is not much else for me to do on that sit, i will stay but in a lesser role, i can talk shit with the best of them and make fun of all of the republicans i want but as I always say, even shooting fish in a barrel gets old. so I embark on a newer mindset where Terria and i are more focused on doing things differently and less programmed, we always go to the gym , that's a given, in fact will meet her at the gym for workout # 2 today and hope to sweat a little and then go home a make a healthy good dinner for us both. Tomorrow i go in to the Dr. for a blood test and hopefully a prescription for the thing that plagued me a few years back, a stomach infection of the horrible kind where everything thing i eat feels like i ate 20 of them and feel bloated, so Prev pack me and get me well for my trip and hope t do some quaddin with shawn and some dirt biking with him and his boy and girl on their sprawling land. I also hope to hang with Ruth and her Husband for dinner and to reacquaint with her, she has been a Saint as well in supporting Terria and i with Braz and Nikki being away in the Army, having 4 kids in the military helps her to understand better than anybody, every time i look at the flag that her daughter flew over Afghanistan territory and dedicated it to Terria and I. she is a top shelf person in my life and i want to thank her and her Husband in person for the kindness that they have given us both. Yeah, being blessed comes in so many forms, the fact that i am not always appreciative and understanding of these blessings brings me to tomorrow and my therapy with Dr. Morales and the help that he has given both Terria and I in understanding how, what and why we do things the way we do, moreso me and my twisted ways of living and thinking, expressed in writing and some horrific speaking at everybodys expense. But things are great and i feel great , looking forward to my trip, looking more forward to my Honey upon my return. Thanks T for being YOU! always good to know that you've seen me at my worst and became stronger at those times, and don't have a selfish ounce in your soul! I love this life and i love the people in my world and my God has given me to enjoy . I have been through the jungles and have become a wiser better person after my safaris, we live , we learn we grow, i just need to grow up and start acting like a responsible adult.... don't hold your breathe ur turning blue