Not Like Us-The Great Hypocracy

Lets see where do I start here today, Do i talk about the fiscal cliff or the Mayan calendar, the mass shootings in Connecticut or the fact that we as a nation are a group of morons! After many hours of reading and watching Frank Schaeffer  on his blog, Twitter and YouTube entries I continue to believe that he s the most in-tuned human being on the planet, nobody makes more sense than he does ever! So I read his books and watch his speeches and continue to learn more each time  about the beauties of true spirituality, not the cardboard crap that the churches provide on a weekly basis and call it Christianity.What is a true Christian, somebody who follows the bible and speaks very loudly about their spirituality yet does very little to help anybody not like themselves. If they don't believe like they do, or go to the same church or read the same literature they are not like you and doomed to a life of eternal hell because as a Christian they are taught that they are elite, and special and looked highly upon but God and his Merry band of cross wearing fools. Yes the same people who bounce little boys on their laps and pay restitution for their acts with money from their churches and do no prison time, just a few thousand extra prayers is all and all is good. Do we then watch them pass a homeless person on the streets and don't look at them and tell their kids not to give them anything because they are just beggars, not knowing how they got there or giving a shit, they are not like themselves therefore they are not good people!Well in the name of good Christians I declare bullshit and what kind of people look down upon those less fortunate, as f they are less worthy of the nice things that they have and because they smell less than floral arrangements and speak in mumbled sentences. These are in fact the very people that we are supposed to help, a meal, a blanket, a few dollars to find temporary happiness and who are we to judge of that happiness happens to be a bottle of ripple or a cold beer before they bed down in an alley way or a freeway abutment? I for one is very ashamed of some people very close to me who have turned their backs on these very types of unfortunate people. Sad thing it is these type of people who look at tragedies and say it's Gods way of punishing Gays ,or fornicators or even Democrats for not being like them. If that be the case than these Christians can all go to hell and then ask if they were doing Gods duty on their way way to the bank before they get money to provide for the affluent churches, and may even pass a few homeless on the way to show how grandstanding is done. God loves them more because they have a 70" flat screen and the 4 new cars in the garage and the new hardwood floor, everything on the exterior seems to be perfect all the way to the wall of fame of pictures of smiles and good times of showing off the gun collection and the cruise to somewhere. the soulless better life where all good things can be bought and never be used on anybody, for anybody but people exactly like them. Yeah! Good Christians, what a sad Oxymoron that has become and all too familiar to me these days. So the ultimate Hypocrisy is when supposed Good people say bad things happen to bad people as punishment but yet do no good deeds without expecting repayment for those deeds and want God to keep score because they put an extra $5 in the tithe this Sunday and they bought cookies from the neighbor kid and expected the same when little league chocolates were to be sold yeah the I will scratch your back only if you scratch mine first mentality. We need to stop trying to be good Christians and  become better people who love and give of themselves with no reciprocation expected...The Golden Rule means so much more when nobody is watching and nobody cares that they aren't but a loving ,giving soul like mine!

Duran Holidays 2012

It really has been along time since i have visited these parts, missing allot of things this year and will man up a bit and fight through  my pity party real soon. As for the holiday season once again , it seemed like the last one was merely a day or two ago and here we go again with the drama of the busy roads and the commercialization of the the Christmas season! Driving through town and watching the drama unfold in the parking lots and in the stores! So we venture towards another bittersweet holiday season but only in the sesnse that we are always missing parts of our family, most of which involves my Baby Aubrey and her adorable ways, my, our first grandchild and so very proud. Our baby is in Virginia with her daddy and mom doing the Army thing and making their own way in this world. Our other Army boy Brazman is in Hawaii and will be here this christmans to enjoy the season with us and with Brandon,Terria and myself enjoying the season at Sister Aprils house as per usual.

Now back to the depression portion of the season, missing Ty and Mandy and mainly our precious little Aubrey who has given us a new perspective on life and a reinvigoration to stay healthy and young to enjoy her growth and life. some days like today i was driving down the road and heard the Ray Stevens "everything is Beautiful"classic on the ipod and immediately started crying, full on tear laden outpour missing my grand baby Aubrey more than anything i can remember to date.Each day gets harder and harder and we have thought of flying to Va. to visit for a few days but they will be in coloradpo springs in Feb. and we should wait but who knows what we will do?

A couple of positives in that we built, or rebuilt our master bedroom, took out the carpet put in tile and did oak baseboards, new paint and curtains and new furniture to make it all new, and for some reason bought a 46" Flatscreen for our viewing pleasure. THe kitchen is the last room to tackle starting with a stainless steel sink and some new cupboards, we have the sink and bought a pub table for the dinner table and are almost there with the house, this following the concrete job in the front yard and the ongoinfg backyard project...waiting til the dogs die before that gets finished! So enough with the house stuff!

On The Terria and Greg Front all is really really well, Terria and her knees and sachilles are hurting her after her surgeries but time will help to mend that soon. i am doing well and am just over a miserable 3 month bout with Sciatica and stenosis of the 4th and 5th vertibrae and was never in so much discomfort. After 3 epidurals and 2 months of thrice weekly chiropractic care i have come back to 85-90% and feel really good, the back was an issue and it cost me a full month of going to the gym which has been back in the mix for about 5 weeks now. Feeling really good and have got back on the  saddle again . Bought for my upcoming 50th birthday present a 2012 Beautiful Yamaha R1, 180mph motorcycle which is a dream to ride and i have yet to break her in properly, only 400 miles on it due to rains and dirty roads but my rising took a year off but did not miss a beat and i still have the skills that will keep me on a state of the art Sportsbike versus the overpriced old mans Harley which for the lif eof me does nothing for the soul in my eyes. riding a slow bike slow takes no skill, risding a fast bike hard and fast is a talent which i have worked really hard to obtain through thousands of miles and 2 accidents, one which almost killed me but I am here and refuse to ive with fear, if anything it has made me appreciate the finer things, the little ytthings in life which I used to let pass me by. so in lieu of a big 50th birthday party I was given a new fast motorcycle to continue my passion! A new day has dawned and I am very much looking forward to a new 2013 and the ongoing love and joy that my household brings. Hard work and love have taken us very far and ralistically the roadbumps in life make us truly understand the real meaning of life, knowing we are flawed and imperfect we can build upon that and always try to improve up[on what most outsiders see as pretty damn great! well it is and I can always o a little bit more. so muchg to be thankful for and so many blessings in our life with all of the tragedies around us we are a strong people who can and have risen above the doldrums of the world around us. god is amazing and to all those paper and phony christians and the bullshit laden republican PArty.... you all can kiss my fucking ASS!

Bittersweet At Best

This weekend brought us a very very bittersweet feeling indeed, On Saturday we took Mandy and our Granddaughter Aubrey to LAX for their trip to Virginia to meet up with our son Ty. During the hour drive to the airport  look back and see my baby quiet and sleeping, we get to the airport and a sudden feeling of loss came into my body and  felt instantly sick . I helped Mandy with her bags to the counter and got her somewhat squared away for her flight to Denver ,then to D.C followed by a midnight eastern time rental car ride southward to Virginia and the Fort Lee Area. As I hugged Mandy goodbye i then turned to my sweet Aubrey and kissed her and rubber her hair while tearing up, she was still asleep which made it easier for me to say goodbye ,I said my goodbyes and walked away and instantly felt empty inside, i get the car and Terria drives away and we are headed towards San Juan Capistrano.

WE drive away from LAX and very silent , nothing said, wiping tears away and still nothing said, feeling sad and angry and not knowing how to deal with the fact that t could be months ,or a year til we see her again, only 9 months old and developing that loving bond that we had  hope she can remember us the way remember her today, very painful event  and knowing full well it s temporary and it will change for the time being i miss my little grandaughter and feel a loss in my life and cannot wait until we see her again.. So we finally make it away from the airport and the thoughts and feeling come out, we both shared our angers, our sadness and our ways of dealing with going from 3-4 times a week seeing and playing with our girl to phone calls and skype as the only was for awhile.

We arrived in San Juan Capistrano and get to our destination, the yamaha dealer of OC to sign for and take ownership of my 2012 Yamaha R1 , they had it ready for me, signed a few signatures went out took the keys and Terria as on her way in the car and  was on my way for the horrible  hour freeway ride from there to Oxnard. Being a lover of twisty and turning roads the freeways are the most boring and most dangerous roads to traverse, traffic flows and blind spots are a motorcyclist nightmare,lane splitting amongst others is a dangerous way to ride a motorcycle which is why I use freeways only as a means to get to the twisty canyon stuff where the only mistakes made will be my own. o the ride home was non eventful and felt nice to be on a world class superbike again compliments of my Terria who opted forn the motorcycle over a 50th birthday party as a means of practicality and knowing full well  have been wanting another bike  and the party would have been nice but over in one night and 3500-400 down the tubes for a memory when i can create a rush a nw memories every day with my passon for riding a fast motorcycle fast and with much speed and ability, not ready to trade in my skills for an over priced Harley and poser like riding from watering hole to watering hole, I ride and ride hard and I I hurt myself then let it be Gods will, its not like I don't have the ability and skill level to ride hard and fast and yet at a safe level, this is what experience and riding allot  has given me. Than god for Terria's understanding of who i am and what my true appreciation for the sport of motorcycling means to me. So i was very appreciative of her again for the ongoing support that she gives to me, especially about motorcycling where the worry will come back to her every time I go out, the ride of Nov 22 2009 is coming up on a 3 years anniversary and the constant reminder that I am not invincible and i almost lost my life on a road that i have traveled 1000 times before and made one mistake that was almost fatal.      

So the weekend was nearly over , the trip to LAX. the sadness and then the uplifting trip to OC to get my bike. We then get home and get the message from Tim and April to join them in Vegas, we pondered and then decided to head up about 5pm, get there at 10 pm and start the weekend in Vegas, which is my least favorite destination, but i had to try to process my Aubrey being away and figured we could divert the sorrow by this min trip, off monday from work we decided why not? The drive was quick, the music was loud and we arrived into sin city wit a blank stare on our faces and in our minds. THe term Bittersweet is the best term I can use here  and for all it's worth , this s a very bittersweet weekend with some nice things taking place and some not so pleasant things as wel. We live and grow and learn how to deal with our lives nuances and thats called growth. We deal with our crap the way we do and deal with the consequences accordingly Good night and good tmes

Time To Catch Up

Another really good start to a weekend, a really good nights sleep, a late wake up call and a trip to the gym. The gym is my friend again after nearly a month off with my back and sciatica issues. But back with a vengeance and feeling good about a new program I have started and hope that will jump start some better results for 2012 -2013. But with my sciatica and allot of hard work by my chiropractor and 3 epidurals , my back was in bad shape. I guess driving 3700 miles in a smallish car with few breaks to stretch out didn't help my backs compression too much did it.

After having gone through the worst time of my life with my back, and being essentially not myself for 3 months and not being able to sleep or essentially walk very well for 2 1/2months I am very appreciative and feel so damn good in comparison to where I was just 4 weeks ago. Just finishing up y 3rd epidural shot last Thursday  for touch up purposes I probably could have gone without it but I anted every bit of the inflammation to be gone. So here I am a few days later and feeling better minute by minute.

Dilemmas abound, well not real dilemmas but things to think about either way. Terria is trying to plan my 50th birthday party somewhere, somehow ,someway and I'm not totally behind the project, very appreciative of the love she wants to show I am being selfish and keep hinting at a new motorcycle but understand her reluctance to put me on a another motorcycle after my crash 3 years ago. But with that I am blessed and very happy that she wants to do something nice for me, me being me just wants what I want when I want it and that's really somewhat childish on my part but what am I supposed to do?  So either way I will turn 50 on January 4 of 2013 and really cannot believe that fact at all ,it is true but I feel so emotionally young and so refreshed spiritually and refuse to get old upstairs, the body will do what the body will do and that's something I attend to gym to slow down the aging process,not stop it just maintain the active lifestyle that you have always wanted in the golden years, not wheelchairs,scooters and canes and all that diaper crap that scares the shit out of me to no end...pardon that pun please.

Really been trying to find my next book to read and have taken way too much time here from my writing so I make an attempt to think about things I want to share, and things that I can share without divulging way too much information about myself ,hence the reason that I chose not to write my book was that it would hurt too many, expose too much and do very few people any positive effects other than myself and the satisfaction of completing a tell all story about me, pretty self serving and really not worth it in the end result by exposing not only myself but allot of people and ruthless acts that I have been part of...til I can write again..goodnight and good times!

It's My Party And There Will be No Sadness!

The Thought ran through my mind
With a needle in my back
And the pains in my spine
The world I love so hard to define
So I scrape and I crawl to the other side
Where the mystery is dark
and the curtains closed shut
I struggle to realize
That the world is not forever
and tomorrows may never come
Like a battlefield soldier
I cringe and open my eyes to facts that lay ahead

My days turn into nights
And the darkness seems to suit me right
Sleepless and gasping
for the life I want
which is precious life in itself.
trying not to look into the rear view
for the upcoming days are few to enjoy
closer to the end than the beginning
I see the end but fear nothing
My spirituality and realizations
Of a deed done right and giving from my heart
This world owes me nothing
That this life has given me so much
I will never complain for this goodness
Will eventually come to an end

No darkness is upon me
No wishes of the end
The Realist in my soul tonight
Will make me enjoy the ride to the finish

My gifts and my rewards
are the things and people i can touch
With some goodness and thoughtfulness
Or and ear ,and a strong shoulder
Bleesed am i to live this life
with those who surround my day
The blessings come from the little things
The things that we don't ask for
So i wait with hope
and anticipate
The music at my doors

The booming from the a DJ board
The thumping all around
People laughing and not crying
When their friend has left the grounds
I want  to see the smiles and celebrate the life
Of a man who lived his life in Smile
and a style all his own
So as the music beats and strums along to the days that we celebrate
My curtain call will be the hall
that we recognize my Beats
This drum has been beaten for the last time today
This drummer boy who beats his drum
To his own special way.

My loves in my life ,please assure me
this ceremony won't be
A sad affair and a typical farewell
but a party dedicated to ME
Not of arrogance in that sense, but
To Me and the good things i loved
To ME and the people i made laugh
To My loves of Baseball and my Teams
My Family, my Wife and Kids
I want this day to emulate the way that i lived
Eat too much, drink too much,dance til it hurts
I even have a request to make
The last song that will make it real
The appropriate song I feel for this day
Thelonious Monster's "Please make sure that my grave is kept clean"

Farewell to my Good life
For a better one awaits  us all
My relationship with my Savior
My hidden gem that I selfishly kept to myself
Oh yes i doubted him and  he made me mad
but of grandstands I do not play
My personal realtionship with my God
Goes beyond my final day!

Should I stay or Should I go now

Sounds like one of my favorite Clash song and well it's time to go out and buy a new Macbook pro, the one I have ,the Macbook Air is nearing a year and a half and reaching dinosaur status and the need for the latest and greatest is ...well.... how my spoiled ass rolls anymore! So trying to justify anything at this point is a waste of time for me, just trying out the Macbook Pro of Terria's and loving her keyboard and the action of the keystrokes and well less strain on the tap tap typing that these nodules on my fingertips have grown to be. So, do I run down to Frys before they close and save 200 bucks now or do I bite the bullet and to deal with the ridged non cushioned keyboard and advanced features of the newMacbook pro, so I shall decide shortly after closing this post and write about it later on in detail....hahahahaha sucks to be a spoiled 49 year old brat I'd say

Losing Patience

Nearly 2 weeks ago Tim went in for a few procedures to try to save his arm, it all worked very well and the cures for this may have created other issues of bleeding in his stomach area. 2 procedures and no success later Tim still lies in bed waiting for a procedure to get in there and stop the bleeding and have failed in 2 attempts and have pushed the third back twice now and will re-schedule in for a few days more. So 2 weeks and some progress has occurred and we still wait for something to turn around and stop the bad aneurysm in hi stomach and make it all work as it did before. The medical field being amazing as it can be has failed him in a sense and has given us all a false sense of security that this procedure to get in and fix the leaks and bad veins has left us all in a state of flux. Losing patience with the Kaiser crew who after attempt #2 moved him to another Kaiser facility to make a better attempt at the procedure. So going on 2 weeks and some good news bad news scenarios are in effect, tired and concerned about Tim's recovery, state of mind and overall health and well-being after all is said and done. We keep a high hope vigil and keep the positive thoughts and prayers for a good result! Today marked the first day of school for Terria and another school year has rolled down the pike for 2012. All ready and willing to start the year with new students and issues that teachers deal with yearly she prepared all summer with a bum achilles tendon and an impending surgery to repair the frayed achilles. Should be an easy procedure and we are sure that she will bounce back after a 6 week stint in her boot, which she has worn the past 2 plus months during a therapeutic stint to alleviate the surgery, well that didn't work and we are set for an August 31 surgery date to repair her damaged Achilles tendon. This didn't stop her from doing a trip to Salt Lake City and a trip To Dallas, and Houston this past month, like a trooper she came through like a champ and hobbled around in her boot and never complained at all! So a new school year is upon us and new things are popping up everywhere with the boys, the grand baby and the world around us that constantly evolves and the hopes to evolve with it in a positive way. So here we are all relatively healthy, happy and just trying to make each day a great event and prepare for the following day and do it all over again. We are in a good place and move toward the new challenges ahead with excitement and interest. Good times for sure! get better Tim and Rock on Terria , somebody give me a shot for the damn Sciatic nerve that screams at me tonight!!!!

Timothy

Been a rough few weeks for my brother in law Tim and my sister April, THe ongoing numbness in his right arm had many blockages and arteries that were no longer working and the arm was dying as there was no blood flow to keep it moving. After a month of prolonged Kaiser care and tests after test and seemingly nothing being done, they come up with "you will lose your arm" diagnosis. We shriek in anger at the medical practices of hurry up and wait and a month goes by and it only worsens along with the blood flow. So Tim and April along with the rest of us are disconsolate at the thoughts of our Tim being unable to Golf and Bowl and do the things he loves to do? We were at our wits end and another procedure was tombe tried, injecting artery cleaner and hoe that the blockages would unload and allow blood flow to get the the proper places, well this morning there was activity and flow through the arm and there is a good chance that they will be able to bypass and give Tim's right arm the blood flow it needs and there is a good chance he will keep his arm if the good fortunes continue. So a whirlwind of 24 hours of not knowing what the hell was going to happen, the magic of drugs and medicine is only as good as those who administer it and how aggressive they choose to be! Well I shouldn't complain at this point but there is much to be said about the medical industry, for all the great things they do they do make mistakes and think that they are Gods with their ego, the Dr's that is egomaniacs on one hand and yet have the ability and knowledge to change people lives if they can only get out of their egos way. Thank God for stepping in and giving Tim a chance to continue his wonderful lifestyle and carefree ways and fight like an SOB my brother!!!!

TY Boy

We watched our youngest boy Ty join the ranks of US Army today, shipped off from the recruiters office too LA where we will watch him be sworn in tomorrow and then he heads off to Fort Sill Oklahoma for basic training. He leaves behind for now his wife and our precious grandaughter Aubrey til they reunite after his training school following Boot camp. Feeling a little odd at walking wawy from ty today, knowing his life will soon change and he will be thrust into the ranks of the warriors as his brother has before him. We are very proud of the boys, all three of them, all in different staged of their lives and growth as young adults as watching Ty hold his baby and sit next to mom and his wife Mandy make me think how important that family truly is. Tomorrow we will drive to LA and watch him be finally sworn in and then he heads to the airport for his trip to Oklahoma for basic training and the road to his ultimate duty station where he will be reunited with Mandy and Aubrey. When Braz went in he went in with his now former wife and had a goal in hand to see his wife everyday during their trianing, Ty will be out there alone thinking about his baby and his wife and that might hurt him quite a bit. But the bottom line is that they are there for a job and will do fine and stay focused on the task at hand, mom and dad will worry and think about him as we do with Braz. Very proud right now that we have 2 boys representing the Army and supporting their respective families any way they can. So we will say goodbye tomorrow to Ty and wish him the best and know he is doing the right thing... Go get em kid!

Happy Texas

Back from Texas a week ago and feeling really good about the trip. We drove over 3700 miles from Oxnard to ElPaso Texas, stopped and slept in Paso to sleep. Woke up early the next morning to head eastward towards Houston via San Antonio and ended up 12 hours after we departed in Houston, a few hours before we had to make it to Minutemaid park to attend the Astros/Pirates game. The game was great , the ballpark was really nice and truly enjoyed the Houston experience and a very good ballgame. Following the Ballgame we headed back to the Hotel for some much needed rest for the following days 4 hour drive to Dallas. Dallas was very much on my mind as it was a focal point of our trip, I was really enthralled with the city and the history of the reason I wanted to go to Dallas...Dealey Plaza! We drove through Dallas on Friday and headed towards Irving Texas and found our Hotel and rested before we had to high tail it to the Rangers game in nearby Arlington by 7 pm. The heat was high at 103 but the ballpark was amazing and we enjoyed the game and a 2 foot long hotdog called the Boomstick...too damn good. The game ended and we headed to the room to try to get some rest for the following day of an early breakfast with a friend of Terria's and a trip to Dealey Plaza to do my own JFK investigation. As we approached the Plaza with the assistance of Gladys the Navigator from our phones we closed in upon the famed site of the assassination of JFK. In awe and amazed at the first sight of it I thought it was smaller than I though, the streets seemed shorter, smaller, tighter and less spectacular than it appears on all of the films. But as we parked and walked towards the book depository the Awe returned and history was jumping out at me, mesmorized and stunned at the spot where JFK was killed and formulating my own theories on who, how and why the President was assassinated. I took numerous pictures and video clips and felt really satisfied that I was able to make the trip while I'm young enough to traverse the areas and see what I wanted to see...well sort of! Sunday was upon us and a second trip to meet a college friend Of Terrias at a great local dive where we had amazingly tasty food and some catching up for Terria with her friend. I then decided that my JFK history lesson was not yet complete as I wanted to make one more trip to Dealey and a trip to PArkland Hospital where they took the essentially mortally wounded President after the assassination and then the Texas theater where they found the ALLEGED killer Oswald inside the theater. Many pictures and many thoughts of the coverup of the jfk murder really have me irritated to this day. So we stopped by and took pictures of the Dallas police station where Oswald was killed by Jack Ruby and the entire coverup just gets bigger and bigger! Sunday night was a dinner and rest night for us as we were Austin Bound on Monday and resting up for the 4 hour drive through Waco and into Austin for a stop and a picture opp of "UT ,University of Texas and the surrounding badass city of Austin. We enjoyed the ambiance of this quaint town and wish I had more time to enjoy it, another trip maybe for sure. The drive through many really cool towns where history bubbled outward, through he town of JohnsonCity where LBJ was born and raised and some really cool old fashioned Mayberry-esque small towns where everybody knows your name. Continuing on the route towards El Paso on the Interstate 10 we stopped for dinner after 12 hours on the road, tired, hungry and wearing down I had every intention of driving straight through to Oxnard in one night. As we finished dinner in ElPaso Terria took the the wheel and drove for 2 1/2 more hours into New Mexico where we ran into a thunder and lightning storm and pulled over to call it a night, We were done for the evening and smarter minds prevailed as we rested and took up the drive the next day. The final push home was an easy one and we managed to be home by 8 pm and all unloaded and rested after a good shower. The trip was 3700 miles driving through all sorts of cool towns and some dog shit towns, Texas is a huge and interesting state to travel by car and the only was to do it is by car. Home and a rest day on Wednesday then back to work for me on Thursday and Friday and well rested and anxiuous to get back to a regular schedule of work gym, and home.We were able to use the Hotelpools and gyms for some exercise and kept the fitness levels up and ate really well and healthy foods to try to maintain the ongoing battle of the bulge...great trip with Terria and a good time for sure, next trip awaits us soon!

Former CIA Spy Tells the Truth="Blog THis"

Life and Reality

Been a few since posting anything here so here I am still kicking hard and taking names. The summer in mid flight and going quickly, moreso for Terria than i , she has school to look forward to in August ,I have work to look forward to everyday. With that being said it really has been a rapid summer, our Texas trip starts next wednesday and so looking towards a great time in the Lonestar state, will probably make me appreciate California that much more from a weather stand point at least, don't know about the people, can't be any worse than the Cali Shit we deal with on a daily basis, bunch of Do nothing, be nothing , aspire to not help anybody but themselves mentality. OK so texas is in the front view and have allot of driving to cover and many cities to run through in such a short amount of time. Dealey Plaza is really my most anxious moment of the trip, and even the Astrodome and the cotton bowl in Dallas, the ballgames will be cool but Dealey Plaza is the focus of my trip being a history nut and reading so much about the subject finding myself wanting to see for myself the possibilities and angle sof attack that took place that day. fuck the Warren Commission and their non conspiratorial findings such blatant bullshit to say the least. So we are expecting a warm trip but a good ,quick and safe venture into lands we have yet to visit! On a more serious note , thinking of my brother in Law Tim who is undergoing some testing for some issues with lymph nodes and blockages of the arteries in his arm, things that only tests and the medical field can determine yet we worry and think of all of the negative things naturally as we do. Things would really be hard on all f us without our Tim around and know that this concerns big sis and the rest of the family about his well-being. So we think good thoughts and know God has a plan for all of us and if Tim's fate is a bad result than we are blessed with the strength to get through it with the mans blessings. I really do feel he will be alright but the not knowing is the hardest part and we shall be positive until we find out otherwise. Go get em timmie we love you and know you will fight whatever the outcomes of the symptoms. Thanks to terria for accompanying My sister April to some Dr's Appointments , she is really great at asking the right questions and looking beyong the normal prognosis and will ask the what if questions and follow up until she gets the true answers to her questions, thanks for loving us the way you do!!!! On a lighter note I am making Carnitas for Ty tonight, he has a few weeks before he ships out to Bootcamp and we will soon have 2 boys in the U.S. Army. So he has made a wish list of meals that we are to make for him before he leaves, one was Homemade Flour tortillas and beans which will accompany the Carnitas and refried beans tonight. He evidently also requested tacos, some sort of Oreo truffle concoction and a homemade Cheesecake which we don't do, we will make a kick ass cheesecake but we haven't ever made one. He wanted something else and we shall fulfill his order for knowing that Galley food in the Army will be as bad as they say it is. I do have the Pork butts in the oven here at work slow cooking and will take them home from here to fry and finish them off while i make beans and the tortillas to complete the order of the day. so off to check on my Pork and waiting for the day to come to a close. taking the gym off today and not really gonna miss it too much, a little burned out with it now so a day off will hopefully refresh the body and soul and hit it hard tomorrow with a new invigoration and attitude!

Loose Change - Final Cut 2012 (Full Length)

Evidence of Revision (1 of 6) The Assassinations of Kennedy and Oswald.(...

I plead The 5th

The Day after the 4th of July which by definition would make it the 5th of July I hear??? A very nice and quiet 4th, a great BBQ of dead cows and birds and breaking in the new old fashioned BBQ grill in style! Not using my state of the art Gas grill anymore the taste of Gas is not appealing to my palate anymore or my burp rate per minute. Had a very nice dinner with Terria and Brandon and enjoyed a surprise visit from Baby Aubrey, oh yeah Ty and Mandy showed up to...ouch, just kidding , but we talked about seeig her all day long and got the call that they would be coming by and we became instantly happy at the thought of seeing our precious baby Aubs. We hugged her and kissed her wetting her cheeks with our admiration and love for her. She is such a life changing elemment to us, gives us more reasons to stay healthy and be around to watch her grow into a young woman and enjoy her upbringing. What a journey we are preparing for knowing that our baby girl and son will soon depart and go on with their lives in the U.S. Army somewhere either here or abroad, it will be difficult for both Terria and I but we will become heroes of Skype for sure ,even if we have to buy them a damn laptop to do so. Trying to keep it all positive and will give us another reason to travel wherever they are. Speaking of Travel, we are really looking forward to our Texas junket, a chance for new ballparks and some history as well, traveling the great I-10 freeway system is always worth something if not laughs some historical entertainment. THe Dallas Experience will be a real adventure for me and Terria will also get to see an old College roomie as well as her second or theird favorite man in the world, Josh Hamilton, Larry fitzgerald might be 2 but for now I would put him at #3 until Football season comes around and we ride to Phoenix to watch him play. I know the heat will be high but i'm ready for it, working out and trying to get in tip top condition has and will help deal with it but the journey is never ending and it's oneday at a time for sure. Terria's Achilles injury has slowed her a bit but not stopped her from doing everyhting she wants to do, still in her boot until further notice we hope she has it off in time for the long trip to Texas? Again, very thankful for the life that we live and the things we are blessed to enjoy beyond the materialistic aspect of it all, being in a position to essentially do what we want whenever we want to is a good place to be, traveling is always a big thing with us, little trips, big trips just things being done together is really all that matter! So As we ventur eout and travel the country bit by bit our New York trip had tentatively been set for either next sppring or next summer, probably summer because Dodgers Spring training is always important to enjoy as well and that is a 7 hour drive away and easy to access. Thankful to terria for everything that she does and even doesn't do that makes me so very happy. It's hard to explain our rrealtionship at times, not many understand it and I don't even try to explain it at all, it just is so damn amazing to know that we can be who we are in life and share passions and support the passions of each other that do not mix with our own mutual likes or dislikes. We just flow and move along iwth the mutual respect and love that allows us to continually grow to newer elevated heights that really cannot be explained but rather enjoyed and savored like a nice meal and drink, very palatible and nourishing for the heart, mind and soul! We venture onward with our kids grown and doing their own thing and really not needing us for anything other than a sound board on occation but that's all part of the parenting thing that never takes a day off so we embrace our responsibilities as do so with love. Not much going on here at the workplace but the watching the clock slowly tick closer to 4 pm and a trip to the gym, sounds boring and tedious and at times truly is but thefact of the matter is that I have blessed genetically with some really slow acting metabolic capabilities and it is very easy for me to gain weight, consequently is easy to lose as well but not always easy to keep off and that's why the gym ritualistic visits to the gym are so important for my health both physically and mentally, to know that i'm trying to make a health choice here is just that, no more stagnation and no more sitting back and waiting, go get it done and wait for nothing or nobody! Being in a great place these days is awesome, realizing how blessed we are and appreciating it are even greater in my eyes. I look around the small sample size that is my office, my building , my friendsa nd family and see the various forms of crazy dysfunction and abnormal handling of life in general. So I sit back in wonderment nad won't judge it as good or bad but thank God that it Isn't my life that I see them living, maybe they think the same of me and that's cool in my book, to each their own as they say and thats what makes life so intersting. So i close with yet another Greg-ism, I'd rather be happy and poor, than an billionaire with sorrow and no substance! Good times and Good-bye for now- Saurus Out!

The 4th And Beyond

Heading towards the 4th of July with nothing planned and nothing really on the horizon.  The workweek is cut in half and will return on Thursday and Friday to end it all. Really have nothing planned, will BBQ some dead animals and thats about it, have a few diet pepsi's and some mother earth food to keep it as healthy as possible.  Let's see where I'm at these days , prepping for the Texas trip and a  few ballgames in Arlington and one in Houston which should be cool in itself. Want to try to see the famed Astrodome before they tear it down and maybe the NASA Space center while driving through. One of my main objectives while in Dallas is to see Dealey Plaza and see the spot of the JFK assassination as this part of history and the coverup really plagues my thoughts of this country,along with the 9-11 Bullshit story from Mr. Bush,but that's a different book altogether. Should be really Hot in texas at the end of July but we are ready for it and it's whatever as far as I'm concerned.  We did enjoy the turnaround trip to Vegas this past weekend to see the Penn and Teller show at the Rio, drove home immediately after the show and a quick 5 hour drive brought us back to the Nard at 4 am so all in al a very good, quick ,safe trip. The anticipation of the drive to Texas is really exciting to me, i love to drive and really enjoy having my co-pilot listen to music with me as we drive, carrying a conversation about our lives and where we have been and where we want to go from here is always the best part of the trips we take. But before all of that i have a chore and a task to try to complete before we leave.

The task of removing and replacing my front lawn is haunting me as I speak, really want to get it ship shape and get back my old sparkling lawn to it's old self again. Always had a great lawn but gophers took over and destroyed it, I have plans to implant devices which are said to keep them away and will hope that they do their job! So my next set of choices are the following, do i pull, level and re-seed or do I level, clear, amend the soil and buy the Sod new and start over fresh and new with totally perfect instantly spectacular lawn?? And if so which Marathon Sod do i pick, there are over 20 types of Sod and 4 types of Marathon in itself, so the decisions won't be easy on any front and I will decide by this weekend which mode of resurrection I will take. 

On the personal front Terria and I move onward each and everyday towards bigger and better things together and with our kids and immediate families, the days of the past are used to remind where we have been and that we can't dwell on all of that but proceed on with the goodness and the hard work we have put in to put us in a greater place than ever before. Input equals output i life and in everything we do so the hard work has definitely paid dividends on the personal front, we still have work to do and time to work on becoming even better, stagnation is never a place we want to be ever again and no fault of hers but in my mind i became that satisfied, stop trying to get better person in our marriage and essentially content with the way things were, which in relationships is the death serum for sure. We have moved on without the services of Michael Morales, not by choice but he has since retired as of May 31,2012 and has left us the opportunity to call him off line if needed, or as long as he stays in the country, something about him going back to Paris to live might take him away from us forever, we shall see.  I do miss him in sense, but in a way think that there was an opportunity for Terria to sink or swim in where we are in life, so far all afloat and doing incredibly well.  I have forgiven myself for my departure to my marriage and have built upon my strengths with her and we have tried so hard to forget the past  but always somehow use it to propel us to newer heights and appreciation of the woman I almost let out of my life.  I have forgiven myself as has Terria but won't ever forget the place in my life and in my mind the how and why of what I did to my wife and family, I can only look and thank Terrias Strengths and the reason that we are where we are, I made some serious life realizations through her strengths that enabled me through counseling to see the light of day and go through everyday with a better understanding of the type of person i was, am and want to continue to grow to be.  So very thankful to God and all of the Family and Friends who never turned their backs not only on me , but Terria, so much love and support from both my family and her Sister and her Family, the rest, to include her mother can go Fuck themselves for their lack of support for Terria for something that I did to her and had no effect on the relationship between Terria and them, they can hate me for what i did but not Terria who was the victim here and got no support from her mother or Brother, but thankfully my family(most of my family, minus Linda,all bark no bite and a paper Christian, yeah i said it  and I'm over it, fuck her too) and  her sister Brazaleen and the kids stepped it up and gave her the love she deserved, for that i will be eternally grateful and will never forget. So back to my not so busy workday and lack of schedule, will be out of here by 3, off to the gym and home to prep meat for tomorrow. Hope all is awesome in the world today, it is where I see it but not everybody see the world where I sit, Happy and safe 4th!

9 11 Documentaries - 911- The Greatest Lie Ever Sold via CNN,ABC,CBS,FOX...

ZERO An Investigation Into 9/11 (FULL documentary) MUST WATCH!!!!

Must Watch!!!!

Pain, Strains and Gain

I do have some goodness in my heart and some heaviness as well tonight! Had a fun evenng celebrating a young lady's 20th birthday dinner at their home, it was nice and we had a great meal and some good laughs. Tomorrow brings us a dinner date with Brad"happy in my heart" Holland in the Valley for Pizza and some reminiscing about the good old days of riding motorcycles fast and playing even harder, this will be a great meet with our friend! Really miss the guy and look so forward to sharing the night with many many good thoughts and laughs. Now the sadness part comes from TY and Mandy, still trying to find their way as a young married couple with a young baby, this will take time but in the meantime will drive me nuts as they continue to miss the plot and lose their way amongst the rational thinking people around them. This does worry me and Aubrey has no choice in the matter , so I sit back and wait to spring into action at a moments notice if need be, I'm hoping and praying that need never comes to fruition. So I wait and worry and  think about my baby and her fate with parents that don't quite get it ...yet! So i send off this evening with a sad story reading sports illustrated story on Junior SEau suicide in May and then try to get some sleep for tomorrows workday.... Good Fricking Night

"Skin Turns Blue" - Primitive Radio Gods. An Old Fave Of Mine

Another Great Day in the Life

Spent a very productive day with Terria and evening with my family and my adorable grand baby Aubrey. A very casual Saturday for us , a trip to the gym in the morning, a breakfast date with my wife Terria and a visit to see my mom  after a quick visit to to see Aubrey for about 30 minutes prior to the visit with mom.  The visit with my mom was good and prompted me to go to the gym again for round 2 and a trip to the pool for a cool down and a 30 minute session in the water. All went well and headed home to get ready for a dinner date with Terria, April, Tim and brother Richard in Simi at the Elephant bar. Upon arriving home from the pool Terria informs me that we are having a guest joining us for dinner and was on her way as we were speaking of it. Mandy was bringing the baby over for us to babysit while she went to the airport to pick up her mother from the airport, I was very happy to hear the great news, showered and awaited her arrival. We loaded her in the car and headed East towards Simi for dinner and time with the family.  we drove ,we ate, we came home and relaxed with the baby and had a great time of it.Talking to an  yet unresponsive 4 1/2 month old baby,well as much response as you get from a newborn anyway,it is a real test of whatever it is a test of, a test of too much cuteness or something that just makes you melt with love and admiration for one of Gods great creations. Aubrey thinks Grandpa is funny because she always laughs at my ridiculous thoughts and songs that prompt that what the hell are you thinking look from her each and every time I start singing my jibberish to her. I have more pictures in my phone of Aubrey than I can even count, videos and all the Phones library is consumed with Aubrey as is Terria's phone!

So it was an amazing day and we spent the day with doing good things with wonderful people and truly enjoying another amazing sunny day in the Nard. Tomorrow is another question all together, don't have clue one as to what we will do tomorrow? Maybe a road trip after the gym in the morning we shall see. I was able to convince Terria that we drive to Dallas,Austin and Houston next month instead of fly, I love driving and the price of flying is out of hand and won't have to rent a car this way, so the money we save can go to buying gifts and stuff from the trip. Terria and her Josh Hamilton we will try to catch 3-4 Rangers games in Arlington and for me the trip to Dallas will allow me the chance to visit JFK's assassination spot of Dealey Plaza, being a history buff and a reader of historical books and non fiction makes this trip even more important for me from an historical and intrigue point of view . We will actually be going to Austin to see the great "u of Texas" and to enjoy that really cool city from what I hear and have read about. THen head south east to Houston to capture the great Astrodome in all its grandeur and historical greatness, hope I" can get in and take a peek! We will then head to Dallas and downtown for my historical look at Kennedy's death place and then head  to the suburbs and catch some Rangers games in the hot Texas July Heat , which will be a test of fortitude if not balls of steel to try to beat the heat in Texas in the summertime...good luck with that project right? Hoping Terria gets cleared from her Achilles strain and that the leg will be healed for the most part and get the boot off the foot for a more comfortable stride and coolness! So that's the plan for now and truly enjoying the first parts of summer so far, Terria off from teaching for another 2 months so we have options her, a great place to be for sure... Great Times!

Maybe Texas

The week is nearly over and feeling a little tired right now, back from a late night in San diego last night and a Padre /Ranger game with Terria  so she, we could watch Josh Hamilton do his thing. A very nice drive to the ballpark in the gaslamp district and made good time for the 335 pm start time. The game was over at 630 and we headed homeward around 7 and hit very little traffic on the way home. Stopped off in San Juan Capistrano for dinner and made it home around 1130 pm and then shut it down for the night. Terria is off from school as of last Friday and look forward to a carefree travel filled summer and just overall good times with my wife.

Trying to convince Terria to drive to Dallas and Austin, even Houston on the way to Arlington to watch more Rangers games and spend some quality time watching and exploring baseball and the state of Texas. Actually really want to visit Dealey Plaza and see that historical site along with the games and the Astrodome in Houston. Ready for a good weekend, can't really say whats on the docket but whatever it is ,it aint working ! Tired tonight , Terria just got home from a Chumash trip with her sister and won $212 at the nickel slots! Along with a Kenny Loggins concert had a great day and evening with her big sister!! So off to bed here in a  few and ready for a Friday work shift of easiness, trying to wake up in 6 hours might not be so easy though. Good Night, Great Times!

Ray Stevens - "Everything Is Beautiful" (1970)

As I held my grand daughter Aubrey this evening, feeding her and watching her fall asleep in my arms I could only think of this song and feel good about life and living in a world where such a beautiful creation can be held by a mere mortal such as myself and grandma. I am so blessed to hold this precious baby in my arms and I swell with pride and how awesome it is to be alive and well in the world where she lives....AMAZING!

The Apple Bug

The Apple bug had bit me again, the latest and greatest Macbook's are out and it's like a kid in a candy factory around here with all of the great stuff that I'm salivating over as we speak.  The late great Steve Jobs has left his company in more that capable hands and for that I'm ok with the dude being able to relax wherever he is relaxing these days. Anyway the newest Apple's are amazing and I am feeling the want, not the need to get the lates and the greatest, almost as if it were a motorcycle and I was doing that all over again, But regardless I am doing a test run on Terrias Apple now and really loving the Macbooks keyboard and feel of the backlit keys and raised platform that My Macbook air does not have. choices choices choices and they are all great ones in regards to the Apple products that came out yesterday. So the test run on this platform is done and I'm loving it to death here or maybe Dying a slow one trying to figure out if and which one one I should get, either way it's all good and time to get some rest after that long winded Dodger Game last night, they did win tonight and the Kings are world Champs , the OKC Thunder beat the Heat tonight so it is a great sports week so far and an even greater month and year, school ending for Terria on Friday and so many plans for the summer which we are trying to organize in our minds and on our Expedia and Travelocity. Good night

9-11 Phenomenon

A must watch series of more video documentation of how the 9-11 debacle was created by our own government and covered up, we then try to justify our involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan by our departed idiot ex president Bush. Never believed the Govt explanation by the commission and never will believe most of what comes from that commission or any subsequent Government trying to cover their tracks. Somebody made money on the devastation and the wars that followed. Please watch the videos I posted, the evidence speaks for itself, I won't say another word on the subject, the evidence Will do that for everybody

911 In Plane Site - ALL MEDIA LIED ON 9/11! Whitehouse Phone number-20...

Pilots For 9/11 Truth Presents "9/11 INTERCEPTED" - (Full Film) MUST WA...

Need A Damn Book To Read

Went to Barnes and Noble this evening to try to find a follow up book for the Steve Jobs book I just finished, damn what a task this has been you'd think finding a good book in a good bookstore should be relatively easy right? wrong there was so much crap and none of the favorite authors I read have anything remotely new or anything that I haven't already read. Ugh this sucks I have really fallen in love with reading again and may have to dig up an old favorite to re read and give me something to do besides spew my nonsensical gibberish on my site here. So here I type away and trying to dig up an old author, something that will pique my interests again and get me back to reading about something passionate, besides sports that is, and besides the Damn fundamentalist that have made me ill when I hear or read the bullshit they spread. Anyway it is a good mid week break from the monotony of sitting down to my good books but truly wished I had something to dive into tonight.  So I'm thinking I'll take my Apple to my room and do some book shopping in the hope that something will jump out at me and allow to make the magic find. Tomorrow is Thursday and a weekend of nothing on the horizons awaits us, maybe a day trip for some Clam Chowder in Pismo Beach?? I don't know  but whatever we do it will be a relaxing something or other regardless. Goodnight and the standard Good Times! salute

Our Boy Goes Home And Another Book Finished

Today was an interesting morning, Our Boy Braz was laying on the couch as we were off to work, I hugged him goodbye as I was ready to drive to work, he rolled over from a dead sleep and I told him I was very proud of the man that he has become and thanked him for spending so much time with us on his liberty from his duty station in Hawaii. we said our goodbyes and I drove away with tears in my eyes, kissed my wonderful wife and maintained a cloudy view of sadness and a sense of happiness that our boy made it home from Afghanistan somewhat safely, having been blown up 3 times by roadside bombs and being struck twice by bullets from the enemy, thankfully Kevlar saved his life each time and he laughs it off and shrugs his shoulders and says "those pussies can't shoot for shit" So Brazman flew out tonight back to Hawaii and back to work tomorrow. We had a great time with him and the families, we spent more time with him than anybody else and appreciated the fact that he slept on his old hide a-bed couch that he wanted for his room when he was a young teenager, so we left it out for hm to use on this return trip. As a Parent a sense of relief was felt as we knew that as a 20 year old man he has seen things and done things that none of us will ever understand and we won't ever try to, this is his world to live in and it' s a scary place to be for him and the thousands of others soldiers who go through the grind each deployment in the war zone. So Braz , we are very proud of you Son, thankful that God protected you this trip and allowed you to come home to us to enjoy your presence, see you in December and take that 21st birthday trip to Vegas this winter time, much love Daddy G. And Momma T

As I write this I just put down the Steve Jobs Book by Walter Isaacson, a complete masterpiece, all 571 pages of fact filled information and drama were amazing reading to say the least. Amazing how a blessed man and gifted man can be so deficient in personality and humanistic and social skills in dealing with the common mind, most of the time seeking out perfection as he saw it and never relenting til everybody else was on his same page...perfection can never be attained, but getting your way and calling it perfection were his modus operandi. The man was a real creep to work for, but his savvy and innovative skills were the overcompensation that made him the best creator and business man ever. The book touched on many of his ideas from computers to iphones and ipods all world changers for sure but the way he got there and the ways he drove his people to find that extra gear towards perfection still helps to make Apple the company that it is today. A great read and a recommendation to all to try to understand the complex man that Steve Jobs was and still has left the legacy of great innovation behind to the current crew of geniuses at Apple. Now the task of finding my next book to read  and that it won't be easy to find something this dynamic, whatever book I read next will make it seem like the guy who replaces, Larry Bird ,or Magic Johnson, not to mention Michael Jordan, a tough book to follow up but I will find one and for that I must head off to Amazon to do a search now, Goodnight and good Times ahead

The Great Steve Jobs

Reading the latest book on the Late Steve Jobs and nearly finished with it, since I have used Apple products the past 4 years exclusively I figured read about he man who's legend seems to be larger than life. After owning my 3rd Apple laptop and iphone,Ipod and Ipad the name and product are definitely a quality product and worth every penny people will spend for them. As I type this from my Macbook Air I appreciate the quality and precision that an Apple product possesses and gives me with each stroke. As for Jobs, his name and book are amazing and yet feel a sadness for a man who never really figured kindness into his everyday, his drive and ambition were centered on changing the world and making a name for himself through his electronic creations. I always wonder how these minds work and always rise to the challenges that running a company will bring in the way of pressures, deadlines and expectations from the adoring public that continues to buy the products from the company he created in his garage!

The book shows me how truly pathetic he could be and yet how he could manage so many positive creations with his talents and management skills.  The poster boy for Narcissistic behavior he was so shut off from emotional attraction to anything other than his own views and opinions, the realties he created even when they weren't there were somewhat scary and to watch him evolve and take risks all the while creating well made, no corners cut products of perfection. The book has enabled me to see the evolution of a truly remarkable series of products and the evolutionary mindset to create and evolve constantly being a visionary to things that people never thought could exist with technology. The family man and creator of some really nice scenarios both with his personal and professional life all the while being a total ass in some situations both to colleagues and to family. A very complex mind who never took well enough to be good enough, work ethic and quality control along with the mind of the great innovators of our time. This book is one of the best reads so far in my life, well written and seemingly pulls no punches in accuracy as far as what reviewers and people who knew him have said.   So down to the last 100 pages of this great read and feel like another death of Steve Jobs will occur as I read the last page, each and every innivative product that has come up the road and the latest and greatest innovation waiting to be created post Jobs era will be very interesting to wait for. I will resume this book after I post this on my site and hope to finish it up tonight  and start yet another fine read as soon as it comes to me. But must share and enjoy the L.A Kings victory tonight in the Stanley Cup finals after their 4-0 victory tonight and taking a 3 games to love series lead, we hope that Wednesday will be the final game and the Kings can bring a Stanley Cup To LA and match the Lakers, Dodgers, Bruins and Trojans, don't really count the Angels as local team, being american league and not real Baseball in the A. L  ,so As I laugh aloud at that statement I move on to the rest of my evening and grab by Book and finish it up hopefully tonight, if not, at Work tomorrow. Good Night and Good Times!

The SLC

Arrived in Salt Lake this afternoon, an 11 1/2 trek from the nard and went well splitting driving with Terria passing Vegas and parts within was really exciting.  The second year for us travelling to the SLC for motorcycle races and good times. This evening brought us to a 3 star really nice place near central downtown blocks from the temple and the salt palace and shopping areas. We ventured out for a mystery tour not knowing where or what we were looking for but something interesting to eat , we drove for nearly an hour and finally ended up at a place that I had some reservations about, we walked in and saw that it was a Vietnamese restaurant and tried it for the first time in my life. Walked out of there surprised and stunned by how good the food and service were and had an amazing meal that we won't soon forget.

The weather might put a damper on the weekends racing for us as there is a chance of rain the first 3 days here, hopefully it will stay away and allow us to watch some good world class racing of the sport that I love. So we wait for the weatherman to cooperate and allow us some good racing, otherwise allot of driving for naught? we shall wait and see and keep a positive attitude for a dry weekend. So far Terria and are relaxing in the room, get back to my book on Steve Jobs and sleep in tomorrow and prepare for another day in SLC Goodnight and Good Times!!!!

The Book "THe Digital Divide"

Just finished another amazing book,"the digital divide" which covered a plethora of subjects relating to social networking, the media, and the internet in general.Some very interesting points were made and some so right on in theory that I thought I was writing the pieces myself. I find it truly rare these days to find a young person who wither doesn't have their head buried in ether a cell phone or some sort of media device entrenched in it's self importance and relevance in their life at that particular time and place. The oft used example is watching a family of 4 at the dinner table at a local restaraunt each with their nose in their phones and not one conversation could be seen or heard at all, except when then server came by to take their order, then they all went back to what they were doing. So much for family values and quality time, we all do it but we try to catch ourselves and stop the use of phones at the table and carry on a good conversation instead.  So much of this good read brought to light the ideas of Facebook and the Narcissistic behavior it has created, I mean really we do a self portrait of who we want to be and what and how we want the world to see us, we put our best foot forward with our best pictures and our best stories and really want to portray our best side. How cool we are with our trips and musical tastes, not to mention the 537 friends some people tend to have, even if they haven't seen or spoken to them in 25 years after high school, but chummy and giving a shit today, when 25 years ago they didnt even like each other let alone talk to each other...funny shit. Then we have the whole alone and lonely phenomenon, where the average teen chooses to text 100 plus times  daily, thus never truly being alone, if even for a text message, they are in tuned with the outside world via cell phone and instant messaging and never have to be alone with themselves or their horrible solitude and thoughts.  Another interesting issue is the loneliness aspect of our society, nobody wants to be bored by being alone, the text, call do whatever they can to have somebody in the room with them  either electronically or metaphysically, they are afraid to be solo with themselves, thus calling alone time, boredom, instead of calling it what it truly is
'fear" ,or the inability to be alone and use that time to collect their deepest thoughts and solutions to a given problem or thought process. As I always told my kids, "if you're bored, you are boring" very simple there are too many options out there that we can amuse, entertain,self govern our time in a positive way, heaven forfend an individual pick up a book or even a dictionary or encyclopedia and look something up that you heard but didn't understand, I do this all of the time and with the amount of reading I do can usually check my personal spellings or meanings of a word to superior help immediately,sometimes I'm write , and sometimes I'm off the mark but the point is that opening the mind to things we like , love, know or don't know means just that ,opening up the process for learning and not just doing that which we are comfortable doing. Reading is an amazing way to educate yourself, increase your knowledge on many things and your vocabulary and ability to spell goes up exponentially when you crack open a book!

The old addage of Reading id fundamental is a long lost art that truly has been buried under the pages of technology, instant gratification and fast food minds have taken over the world of knowledge and learning, if it's not  something that is TMZ quality then most don't want to dig deeper and expand the mind with a little effort. I for one am blessed with a sharp mind and one who is always trying to sharpen my cerebral pencil of thought processes, reading helps me to achieve this goal and helps me to learn more each day by listening either with the written word, or the amazing skills of being a listener to the spoken word. So off to my next book and thinking it might be the Steve Jobs story and really look forward to that great story! Goodnight and Good Times!

Old Post

I'm not going to say the cliche TGIF today other than it's Friday and the weekend beckons and all that is left is to find something to do??? Today is rather slow at the workplace and being my working Friday it's a real easy shift to say the least. hoping to sneak out in a few to get something to eat and then be ready for the Gym at lunchtime as the pool is calling me and the workout in the water sounds amazing since it is so warm and humid out today. cannot wait trust me , so stuffy here the water sounds like a real treat to me right now.

After work I have a 13th birthday Party for my my Nephew Josh at his house so that will take up a few hours of the night and be fed and ready for Friday night. Which is another big question to be answered? But I do have a couple rides scheduled for this weekend and gym of course , might try to shake things up a bit and go for a drive somewhere with Terria and see what we can find to do, maybe Keynote for Red Rhythm or some kind of entertainment, or nothing at all, doesn't really matter either way!

Very happy to receive a picture from Terria of Braz in Afghanistan yesterday ,will post that in a few and was really good to see the boy in his element with his crew fighting the fight. I can only say that it has been very nerve racking to say the least, especialy with a few of his mates in his platoon already losing their lives to attacks in and around jalalabad.  A very mean and visious thing is war, many people pay the ultimate price , some innocents, others warriors doing what they are paid to do and yet we lose peole everyday for this senseless and meaningless

The Grasp

It is definitely a monday morning, the sinus issues are at an all time high ,or low depending on how i want to look at it, i have til 10 am then it generally goes away.  The weather is starting to warm up, heatwave of 70 degrees for us here in the Nard and not too shabby I'd say! We pay for this weather trust me and the beauty of it is , we can afford it and enjoy the ability to do whatever we want year round, no snow, rain ,hurricans ,tornadoes or anything to deal with bu the boredom of perfect weather.  The joys are aplenty, the mothers day is behind us and another great day with Terria in the books. We were treated last night with a visit from Baby Aubrey to help terria celebrate her mothers day as a grandmother and I as a grandfather of Ty and Mandy's perfect little baby Aubrey Sue!!! Love our little girl and she brightens up our day everytime we see her.

Coming to the end of our run with Michael, he is retiring from the counseling and going abroad to enjoy his latter years of life, he has been very instrumental in keeping Terria and I together and going stronger. We have one last goodbye visit with him and then he sails off into the twilight and will never see him again. don't know who will be referred to us for him but think I can honestly say that I cannot start over with another therapist it would be too painful to relive where I've been with anybody else, we shall see what tomorrow brings in that regard. But for now it's renewal and growth on a daily basis to keep our lives where they need to be, a good place and better future based on the hard work and dedication to making happiness an everyday thing, so far , so good!

The fact that everyday is Valentines day, Mothers day and fathers day, Birthday and Christmas in our home, is the biggest rib tickler that most tend to believe when they hear the comment come from mine or Terria's mouth, we enjoy the goodness of what most people tend to think are special occasion moments each and every day, not just on thoe special days, which is why we don't specifically celebrate these so-called holidays or Hallmark dtermined events  any differently than we normally live...with passion and joy and loving and admiration towards each other. It's always been that way and the fact that I can say that my affair 2 years ago is now the single best thing to happen to US is even more compelling to me.  The awreness that came from that has made us both better, granted I did not like the pain I inflicted and the damage cause  but like a bridges that crunbles and falls, the rebuild bring about a stronger and better structure, with better understanding of what went wriong with the original plans, we have bult a better bridge and plan and crossing over and finding the better side of life in our middle to latter stages of our marriage and life. We have been blessed with a second chance, a better chance to make things even more amazing than ever, having the tools and not fooling ourselves into thinking that we can relazx and slow down the growth and awareness of our marriage and our lives that await us tomorrow and beyond.  I am good with my growth but never stop growing, i can always look back and learn where I have been to know where I want to go in the future. Mistakes and missteps are part of life and learning from those mistakes is what I have called growth. I do belive that I have finally been able to forgive myself for what I've done, the past is no reflection of my future but a reminder of how important it is to never stop growing and never relax and think that things are always going to work themsleves out,  they don't, we must make the efforts to recognize and then act accordingly, thats where I'm at in this stage in life is to know that I don't always know everything and will remind myself of that fact.  Growth is never moving too slowly, nor is is moving too fast, finding that sweet spot and evolving with it I believe is my key to maintaining the Happiness that i hold in my hands. A special thanks to Terria and Family for understanding the quirky, if not free spirited approach to life that I call my own. Today is a good day, tomorrow will even be better, a positive grip on life makes that belief an easier reality!

Baby Aubrey(Litto)

Baby Aubrey, Sitting in my Chair changing the channels with her remote, obviously watching TLC,Discovery or the History channel, no Stupid reality crap for my grandbaby but maybe an occasional Dodger Game! Go Aubs, can't wait to see you tonight little girl!

Give It To Twitter

I had a boatload of issues that were bothering me and keeping them bottled up inside, with the exception of Terria I shared them with nobody but us. The workplace and my co-workers has continually been sliding backwards, not to mention the private lives of some of my buds here on base. But rather than fill this page up with fervor and anger and an unloading of sorts, I chose to vent thses issues on Twitter, 140 characters at a time and feeling good about my choice to leave it there.  So as I scratch my head and continue to care about the shit and the lives of others that I can't fix, mend or prevent the train wreck from happening,I sit back and wait for the BOOM! of the dynamite and will deal with the fragmentations later!

But HEY!! on the good news front, we get baby Aubrey for a few hours tonight to ourselves, YEAY! I say, been about 3 days since we last held our little baby and miss her very very much. So I will leave with this positive and know that our little girl gives both Terria and I more reasons to smile each and every day. We are blessed and I will continue to work on myself and keep myself  focused on the tasks at hand, staying happy, healthy and prosperous for the years ahead!

The Way It Is

I can talk about how fortunate I am these days but it seems to be redundant and rather boorish, so I won't ,i will figure another avenue of interest and go with that for now. Dreams seem to speak volumes to me, for some reason I dream a little these days about things and people that are somewhat insignificant in my life but somehow pop up and seem to be in my dreams. Coworkers and distant friend, people I run into at the gym and old high school folks, whatever it is they seem to be there. Maybe the mind working overtime or not working enough, whatever the case may be the cases of Deja Vu have been re-occurring over and over and it seems like I've been here , or done that before. When my clutch heated up and we pulled over at the side of the road at Dodgers Stadium Saturday night, i had been there before and dreamed of a similar occurrence weeks earlier, allot of that kind of thing going on with me these days. I will manage and figure it out, maybe a trip to Michael to revisit the dream phenomena, could be something, might not be!

As for the rest of my being, we have Baby Aubrey and Mandy staying with us for a bit and wait and see what happens with Ty the tornado and his never ending bout with anger management...good luck with that right !!!!  We do love having the baby home and we get to love and adore her the way she needs to be loved, so innocent and thrown into this tumultuous world, no less the drama from her parents which we will never truly understand, it's a nightmare being relived for Terria and she had already been there with this type of treatment from Ty's father, so the falling apple and the tree thing applies here and coupled with the Narcissism that has invaded his soul it's even more difficult, being that nothing he does will ever be his doing or accountability is out the window, so bad, but Aubrey is stuck in this whirlwind and we have to sit back and let it happen....For Now! Just waiting for the day when i call that kid out and tap his ass out because he wants to be the tough guy and mistreat his wife and child! Wait and See I suppose?

On the happy front we are all doing well in our camp, the life we wanted is now in place , we love , we travel and do things that middle aged people are supposed to do. I'm not waiting until I am retired to start doing these things, I want to do things when I am young and vibrant and can get around and do the things that younger people do now! We have more plans on the horizon of places and people and fun things for us, we've raised our kids and it's our time to spend our time and efforts on us.  The spontaneous trip to Portland was a series of things we have planned for the year. We have a trip to Salt Lake City for Superbike racing the end of May, the mid June we are celebrating our 11ty anniversary in San Diego to watch Terrias Josh Hamilton and the Rangers play the Padres. We know we will be in Dallas and later Ft Sill OK. going to Ty's graduation from Basic training but will fly into Dallas and tour that city before and after we hit OK. I have always wanted to visit Dealey Plaza , the spot where JFK was assassinated and the outlying  areas of the greater Dallas area, next trip we explore Austin Texas and all that it has to offer, which from what I hear I is a LOT! So I reneged on  "Being Fortunate " Spiel of my and shared a bit of whats going on beside the drama and trauma of young and dumb kids that we call our own. Hey , this hot off the presses, Brandon broke up with his Girlfriend and for this I commend him, we both really didn't care for her too much and questioned why he would be with such a negative and boring girl who was so needy. but whatever the case may be  Brandon is better alone and working on himself and getting through school and starting his life and other facets of his being. for now the goodness continues and I don't plan on slowing down the trail of happiness and sharing with my wonderful Terria as long as we have days to do so

Simply Horrible

Rainy days and stupidity always get me down
A simple task of driving
complicated by somebody's inability to do it right
So I'll swerve away and hit the brakes and know I've dodged an idiot

The Sunshine glares into my eyes path
I squint and peak and see the pages
The signs and the books go unread and not comprehended
This simple world, simply mindless.

Frightened at the futures outlook
where will the brains come from
where and by whom will the issues be solved?
A black sea of texts and laptop signals stream aimlessly in the dark

Yeah I'm disgusted at what we have become
Even moreso and what we will continue to be
The future need a recalibration that this generation cannot provide
So we watch E network and TMZ and become as Stupid as humanly possible

Renew

Just back from Portland and a quick turnaround trip for a Donut, a pizza pie and some really cool shopping at the Saturday waterfront shopping area. The times were spent with my Honey driving that long drive never complaining about anything just enjoyig the drive and the conversatins that ensued. After attending Brandons poetry award ceremony at the College last week It sparked an old poetry bug brewing in me, I was inspired to take a few more swings at the poems and prose of yesterday. Really enjoyed my trip north with Terria and actually missed a perfect game in Seattle , which we would have attended had it been a night game or a later start but as it turned out we were not able to get there in time for the start so we blew it off, the blazer and the AAA Beaver were not options, the Blazers out of town and the Beavers no longer call Portland their home. But the trip was a really good time and the drive was much easier than i imagined it would be, must have been the incredible company that I was in.  Thanks again T for a great time and looking forward to our Salt Lake City trip at the end of May.

Been doing a fair amount of reading these days , the books keep staring at me and jumping into my hands and i just keep reading them one after another. Really enjoy the reading and writings of some of my favorite authors as well as some new writers that have caught my eye. The book have ranged from Political to spiritual awareness. I am currently reading a book about the dumbing down of todays youth and their inability to do much anything beyond facebook and video games. We as a country are in some trouble, our future hold less drive and determination with the youth of today being locked into Disinterested mode. whatever the case may be we may be fucked 20 years from now with a nation of dumbasses with no drive to do anything but play PS3 and text their lives away.

Ok, that being said i look forward to some inspirational writing and continue to read my books and hope to further educate and free my mind from old personal stereotypes and grow in areas that may have become stagnant. So I trudge through another day here at work, not in a work sense but in the listening to constant nonsensical conversations that invade this office to no end. So i wait and hope to get to the gym after work and hit it hard after 4 days off  after our trip. I look forward to feeling a little tired and worn today and rush home to see My honey and baby Aubrey!!!! Yes, a very good thought indeed

Portland Trip!!!

                                           THE BASIS FOR A 1000 mile TURNAROUND



Upon deciding to take the trip to Portland for some world class donuts and a few other good meals we knew that the drive would be a grueling turnaround drive but we were game and ready to tackle the drive. We headed out from Santa Barbara after a great dinner with Brandon on Thursday evening about 730 pm, knowing that we had our hands and tires full of allot of road ahead. Making the trip has been a real goal of mine since my buddy Adam said that it would be worht the drve if I did it, after a bit of research and a food network plug we finally made this happen. The drive was smooth and the music anad conversations were even better, thanks to Terra for splitting the drive load with me and helping me rest while she drove, we even stopped at 430am somewhere and slept for 3 hours concluding our drive at 4pm checking into Northern Portland and really happy with the room we chose. We plotted our diner experience  to start with Voodoo Donuts  which was an amazing experience i itself, we then headed out for dinner and found a nice Pizzeria near the donut house and had some of the best food we have had in awhile. We drove back to the room and stopped for some drinks and ready for a Yahtzee match later on tonight. We have the Bookstore after breakfast and some cruising around for this quick trip, shopping and whatever we think looks like fun! We plan on leaving Portland and heading back to the Nard early Sunday and expect to be back in town by 9-10 pm Sunday night, a 15 hour drive and we shall be better rested this time so that we won't require a 3 hour respite to catch some winks. So far we are enjoying this spontaneous trip and will do another trip to Salt LAke City at the end of May for the motorcycle races , we enjoyed last seasons races at the very spot and this only a 12 hour drive will be a sprint compared to this Portland junket, but tthe Pacific northwest is a great place to visit, the weather sucks but we expect that when we come here and it usually cooperates with us in that department. Anyway, we are enjoying this trip and even the long drive was a nice testament to 2 people who have so much to share and talk about, some goodness, some bad times but either way communicating and enjoying the company.  Thanks Terria for enabling us to grow the way we have and to share all that we can share, Missing baby Aubrey a little and look forward to seeing her on our return Home Sunday

Plans and Wishes

Lots of great stuff going on in our lives these days, the baby came over last night and shook our world again, so much adorability(not a word I know) and cuteness it's hard to stay centered with her around. Yeah it's really a treat when the kids bring baby Aubrey by the house and share that precious bundle of love with us, got her first picture back from the photo lab and already have her planted on my desk framed for the world to see.  The rest of the scenery is good as usual and not much shaking around here but a quick turnaround drive to Portland for a donut, a "Pizza and some book shopping in the city up North. Terria and I will take on the drive late Thursday evening to early Friday morning and check in about noon at the Hotel in Portland. Just an impromptu trip because we have nothing else planned and all day to do it so we figured  why not?  We have a dinner date with Brandon at the city college in Santa Barbara and then we head northward after that . Driving is a pleasure of mine, coupe with good music and conversation with Terria we plan on doing a nice tune up of our souls and let some fresh our in now that Braz is back from Afghanistan and Ty is back in tow we feel a sense of relief and can now breathe somewhat free in comparison to where we were a month ago waiting for our boys to be safe. 

Pretty interesting new book I bought while in Santa Barbara the other day, in the bookstore I see this book staring at me bright Red letters called "The dumbest Generation" how the digital age stupefies young Americans and jeopardizes our future, by Mark Bauerlein. When I walked up to this talking book and opened it up, a half page of scrolling though it and I bought it as this book is really a testament on how I feel our youth are betraying everybody around them with their attitudes and cavalier ways of going through life with their cell phones, computers and their Facebook accounts, not thinking to read a book or pick up a newspaper or read something or do something with some substance attached to it for once. Many really nice and intricate facts in the book so far, I took a break away from the theology books for a few, too hard hitting and very dry reading at times but will get back and finish off my stack of unread books here real soon.

Really enjoyed our trip to Santa Barbara to hear and watch Brandon receive an award for a poem he had written, a  very good poem that we were allowed to hear live and netted him a 200 dollar check for his efforts, very proud of his accomplishment and proud of the fact that he's trying to finish his schooling after taking a couple years off. We enjoyed the trip to Arizona for Baseball and other than myself don't know too many people who love Baseball like he and I do with the passion for the game and to be played with passion and love for the game. I watch a game so much differently than the average fan, i call pitches and make pitching changes in my mind, as a hitter will look for pitches and locations on certain counts. I watch the game and expect the game to be played the right way, with max effort, not so much perfect results but effort and preparedness. I am enjoying the Dodgers quick start  but am realistic enough to now that they are at best a 500 team maybe a few games above that but not enough hitting or true pitching beyond #1 and#2, the rest is a crap shoot but think that the west will be won by the Dbacks again and the dodgers are at best a 3rd place finisher in my estimation,  but they play the games to see who is best so we shall wait and see at the end who comes in where and I can't wait!

Finishing up the work day today ready for the gym and whatever we decide for a quick dinner, have laundry and prep needed for the trip after work tomorrow so its rush rush and the washer will be busy tonight, a quick bag and a couple pair of shoes and we are done and ready for the long drive to Portland Oregon for that much craved Donut! yeah a donut, throw in a Pizza and some seafood and we are set. Good Times continue to run rampant, we are enjoying life one day at a time and living each day as if to be our last, so there is no drive too far for a donut, or too  much for a pair of wanted shoes, just living the dream for which there is no price tag.

Dysfunction Junction, not my Function!

Here at work this morning and feeling a little inspired to write a little something about nothing at all.  I truly enjoy the dynamics of the personalities here at work, the dysfunction junction as i like to call it and I sit back and interject in my minds eye how truly fucked up people are.  Living my life the way I do, my mind, body and emotions always firing on full blast I wonder at times how we function as a species.  The time I spend here at work helps me to realize how odd i am or maybe how truly odd the rest are, either way I love where I'm at and my rationalization and underdstanding on what makes happiness seems to differ from what the masses seem to gravitate towards. I get the wants and needs and desiring of things we want versus need, things and possessions are the root of so much of what is wrong with us as a species. Being very blessed and so very fortunate to have more than enough and happy in the search for other things to quench life's palate of things and crap and all that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of life...yet we want and seek out the things we don't need. human nature does some shitty things to us all, i find myself really wanting another motorcycle, a newer house, a new Baseball glove but things are just that...things, the truth of the matter is that I want because I want and can have because I can. In simple terms I folow along with the masses in my outward desires for things needed versus wanted and fight the fight on a daily basis, I realize and can seperate the two and do so on a daily basis with my constant flow of thinking aloud at times about things and stuff that really don't matter. Thankfully my mind and heart are substantial and plentiful in the giving aspect of what I do on a daily ritualistic basis. Trying to be good and kind and understanding of others is a point I adhere to at Nauseum  sometimes but try to be the bigger person and listen to another regurgiated story of woe by coworkers and friends alike. It's all good because it is, I can't complain too much because I'm not that guy, I may bitch and moan about insignificant things but deal wit the omportant things in a kick ass manner, life is very important and i trwat it as such but with a smile and lots of laughter and sarcasm to boot. I won't be serious for too long because it drains and it's not where I wan t6to spend the majority of my time , my life and efforts to continue my happiness.

Speaking of happiness my Baby girl Aubrey is so damn Amazing and it's been 2 days since I saw her and i miss her so much, momma a dad need to bring her by real soon or I will break! Being a new Grandpa is the best thing that's happened in a long time, bringing a new life of love and perspective to our lives, Terria is an amazing grandmother as she is a wife and mother, just seems to be the perfect thing and the perfect timing for us to have this little girl come into our world. she is so much about Love and being loved and will never ever lack that from us trust me, there is a special feel and bond that we have towards her knowing that mom and dad probably won't together foirever, too young and selfish to work o their issues and hoping that this baby aubrey does not suffer the consequences of their innabilities. We stand back with guarded hearts  to thik that this little baby could be out of state in a manner of moments if aother fight ensues with her parents and they break up for the 12th time. This instability worries me a bit but we will love this baby with everything we have as long as she is within arms reach and available for us to be a positive influence. So much goodness in this baby and so much potential for drama at the same time no fault of her own. But we will enjoy her every second we can, Ty going away in august to boot camp and now we have 2 in the miloitary and worries are doubled but they grow up and move away eventually and we are ok with that fact ,just being selfish and knowing our baby Aubrey will be taken away from us soon. 

So I defer to Terria in this forum to help me decide on the trip to Portland for a Donut, yes Voodoo donuts in Portland is calling our name but the rational side of me says driving 960 miles one way for a donut, spending a few hours in a cool city and driving back the following day is a little mind boggling but we roll in that directin and the therapeutic effects are always worth the drive, I love to drive and converse with my Terria about our lives and things that I mentioned  here earlier and just the tranquility of my company, the road ,the music and the thoughts of being spontaneous and free from stupid worries about bills and payemts and traffic and mean people, our own little world takes us away from that mess and keeps us where we are in that happy place, seemingly unreal, but so very true and real and it's my life to cherish and share with my T and my boys. Love is so priceless and so very hard to find and too damn easy to lose. hold it, cherish it and never let it go away because time naturally will do it for us all