Bittersweet At Best

This weekend brought us a very very bittersweet feeling indeed, On Saturday we took Mandy and our Granddaughter Aubrey to LAX for their trip to Virginia to meet up with our son Ty. During the hour drive to the airport  look back and see my baby quiet and sleeping, we get to the airport and a sudden feeling of loss came into my body and  felt instantly sick . I helped Mandy with her bags to the counter and got her somewhat squared away for her flight to Denver ,then to D.C followed by a midnight eastern time rental car ride southward to Virginia and the Fort Lee Area. As I hugged Mandy goodbye i then turned to my sweet Aubrey and kissed her and rubber her hair while tearing up, she was still asleep which made it easier for me to say goodbye ,I said my goodbyes and walked away and instantly felt empty inside, i get the car and Terria drives away and we are headed towards San Juan Capistrano.

WE drive away from LAX and very silent , nothing said, wiping tears away and still nothing said, feeling sad and angry and not knowing how to deal with the fact that t could be months ,or a year til we see her again, only 9 months old and developing that loving bond that we had  hope she can remember us the way remember her today, very painful event  and knowing full well it s temporary and it will change for the time being i miss my little grandaughter and feel a loss in my life and cannot wait until we see her again.. So we finally make it away from the airport and the thoughts and feeling come out, we both shared our angers, our sadness and our ways of dealing with going from 3-4 times a week seeing and playing with our girl to phone calls and skype as the only was for awhile.

We arrived in San Juan Capistrano and get to our destination, the yamaha dealer of OC to sign for and take ownership of my 2012 Yamaha R1 , they had it ready for me, signed a few signatures went out took the keys and Terria as on her way in the car and  was on my way for the horrible  hour freeway ride from there to Oxnard. Being a lover of twisty and turning roads the freeways are the most boring and most dangerous roads to traverse, traffic flows and blind spots are a motorcyclist nightmare,lane splitting amongst others is a dangerous way to ride a motorcycle which is why I use freeways only as a means to get to the twisty canyon stuff where the only mistakes made will be my own. o the ride home was non eventful and felt nice to be on a world class superbike again compliments of my Terria who opted forn the motorcycle over a 50th birthday party as a means of practicality and knowing full well  have been wanting another bike  and the party would have been nice but over in one night and 3500-400 down the tubes for a memory when i can create a rush a nw memories every day with my passon for riding a fast motorcycle fast and with much speed and ability, not ready to trade in my skills for an over priced Harley and poser like riding from watering hole to watering hole, I ride and ride hard and I I hurt myself then let it be Gods will, its not like I don't have the ability and skill level to ride hard and fast and yet at a safe level, this is what experience and riding allot  has given me. Than god for Terria's understanding of who i am and what my true appreciation for the sport of motorcycling means to me. So i was very appreciative of her again for the ongoing support that she gives to me, especially about motorcycling where the worry will come back to her every time I go out, the ride of Nov 22 2009 is coming up on a 3 years anniversary and the constant reminder that I am not invincible and i almost lost my life on a road that i have traveled 1000 times before and made one mistake that was almost fatal.      

So the weekend was nearly over , the trip to LAX. the sadness and then the uplifting trip to OC to get my bike. We then get home and get the message from Tim and April to join them in Vegas, we pondered and then decided to head up about 5pm, get there at 10 pm and start the weekend in Vegas, which is my least favorite destination, but i had to try to process my Aubrey being away and figured we could divert the sorrow by this min trip, off monday from work we decided why not? The drive was quick, the music was loud and we arrived into sin city wit a blank stare on our faces and in our minds. THe term Bittersweet is the best term I can use here  and for all it's worth , this s a very bittersweet weekend with some nice things taking place and some not so pleasant things as wel. We live and grow and learn how to deal with our lives nuances and thats called growth. We deal with our crap the way we do and deal with the consequences accordingly Good night and good tmes