Perspective and Suppression

A good day so far so much in store for the day today, work is slow as usual and i have one last item on ebay to sell , my Newest Ping G15 golf clubs are going away via ebay. After hitting my old clubs I seemed to hit the older ones better and farther than with the newest technology?? So today we are taking half day, Rich and i that is and golfing 18 holes today and a much needed round of golf. After that i come home around 430, shower and head to te Valley to meet up with Erwin and Oscar my old rising buds for dinner and a drink at the Pizza Cookery, odd enough on Topanga and Erwin St. Be really good to reconnect with old friends and haven't seen them in over a year, ever since Prozac moved to Baja the crew kind of disbanded and wen their own way, along with some of the crew having marital issues, some by default and others by indiscretions and some bad juju! So we meet up tonight and look forward to the weekend , which will conclude on Sunday with a belated Birthday lunch with Big brother Rich in moorpark, then headed to LAX to pick up my Honey after 9 days without her at my side. Last night i shared some good stuff with Michael and he re-instilled in me the fact that i must allow myself the opportunity to share my thoughts and my ails with my wife and allow her a bigger part of the internal Greg and to not suppress the emotional aspects of what makes me so internal with the cerebral part of me. He has been a rel asset in the awareness of what makes me so damn complex, the intelligence part i always got, but the portion of child rearing years when i should have been a kid and not concerned with dads drinking , or folks fighting and emotionally raising myself the way I did, in the process will go into problem solving mode before letting the emotional aspect allow me to center the issue. By suppression, i kill off the emotional because it brings back the years and days of a bad thought or part in my life that I wished wouldn't have happened or would have happened differently. Yeah Morales , we touched upon the fact that hispanic cultures sometimes get in the way of teaching loving characteristics and the roles instilled in man  versus woman.When I questioned why my folks didn't divorce and make us all happier by allowing us to love each one separate instead of them being unhappy together he  Brought up a good cultural point in the cultures between Hispanic and black cultures, the Hispanic family will stay together through thick and thin, thus creating the resentment and the fighting that ensues but they stick around and do the damage unbeknownst to them as un sophisticated beings. The black families will break apart and it is very common in todays culture to see the Black athletes for example where the mothers have different last names than their kids because they have re married and the fathers in the kids lives are more obscured...interesting cultural differences, sometime I wished that the Hispanic culture were more like that , they have so may kids because it indicates to them a sense of power and machismo i having kids, most of which they lack the tool or resource to properly raise, there in lies the issue with our schools and corrections agencies. Kids that aren't taught to love and to cope grow up with the issues that we see in today's society, being raised by Grandma or auntie is not parenting , its passing the buck! So I sit here today with the world at my finger tips and my coping  skills are are almost too good for my own healthiness but the missing part of Greg is the emotional part, where i start to feel and get emotional with me instead or carrying the burden for everybody else and caring too much of others welfare. I would rather give too much and care too much than be that Narcissistic asshole that see's the world as  my own dominion to do for me ,all about me all of the time, it isn't all about me and won't ever allow that to happen. i can be selfish in my wants and needs and take care of those with the means necessary but won't walk over anybody to get them. i love to love and be loved and this natural feeling and emotion is healthy in the right doses, for that I can attest, being off kilter at times and coupled with the suppression of it all can make things more difficult at times, I seek out more emotional release and allow myself the right to cry as well as laugh , to feel as well as solve my shit, and to be held tightly as i hold others tightly in my hands. Life is a bout of wins and losses and the way we bounce back from our losses humbles us for our victories, all perspective and a good balance is always needed in living a balanced existence. for the days are great and the nights are incredible. 3 more days to my Baby Coming home to me. Look forward to a productive day, a great weekend and even a housewarming party for the midget we call Sabrina her at work. I'm really good right now and feel growth everyday, Life is amazingly ,going better than i ever had planned! Have a great day and see you soon Terria Lynn! much love