Just an Observation

I have ventured beyond my own blog on occasion to see what the rest of the world has to say, not much different than mine but there is a definite slant towards Religion in most of these blogs. I for one am not about religion but faith in God and the means to  salvation and ways to better understand how to be kind and good to one another. the whole religion money making machine is just that, a far cry away fro the word of god and the fact that many are good at hiding the fact that it's business first and passing on the word secondarily is a bit appalling to me. But be what it may i can only seek out my own salvation and freedom from outside influence and realize that Religion is distinctly a man -made agenda for their own purpose. don't get me wrong there are many factions that get it right but mainly seem to be too many religions out there projecting their own agenda, and don't get me started on the fundamentalist side of the house, they are way out of bounds and telling everybody not like them that they are wrong. Bottom line is to believe and lead a productive life by giving and sharing and living by that golden rule! Time in our lives is so short and yet we can dwell on the stupid things, the Narcissist in us all comes in and truly de-regulates what we are capable of being. People by nature have so much goodness and yet we only see parts of it and the other parts go away into the abyss somewhere. why in fact is the public opinion or peer pressure so damn important these days, Ever see the girls wearing windshields for sunglasses, looks like crap but since the fashion tells them that JaLO wears them they must follow suit, or the Nig NOg nation of urbanites has taken over the hip hop nation of things like the NBA and the NFL where self promotion is more important than being productive. just a few examples of where i feel we are missing the plot but that's my own personal demon that i must let go. Trust me not a racist bone in my body but not really into the self promoting that goes on where our kids look to first for guidance, the professional athletes. Which is why the MLB has a better hold on the theatrics otherwise they get nailed in the noggin with a 95 mph fastball for showing somebody up ! But back to the point of faith and goodness and being a better person to more is really where we fall short! I just try to live everyday like i want it to be lived, when negativity comes knocking I do not open that door and let it go away, spirituality is so good for us these days and the key to keeping the Negativity that some many people try to share with us. God has really blessed us with the Goodness of a strong family and the few good true friends that we have. I am a very open minded person who has so many views on so many things and as the years have progressed have realized that I cannot fight the battles in other's minds, i can only keep my own world very small and safe as I see it. You won't hear Scriptures from me or quoting the bible at all, i don't truly believe that  is what Christianity is all about. sharing goodness goes deeper than quoting scriptures and sharing the word, i choose to share the goodness that God gives me and If that Isn't in the Bible than the bible is not a good book to read, Knowing that it is I understand the need for Blind faith, nothing is ever absolute but the faith that you can have in god and in your fellow human beings. Yet thi s faith can and has made pour lives more stressful, pulling at the fabric of WHO we are by being constantly disappointed by our friends and family when they do bonehead things and don't do what they say they will do ,yet we as Christians empathize and try to forgive and hold them in our hearts and prayers to get it right and be at the place where they should be.  Problem is , that the place where they should be in their minds should  never have to coincide with what my mind see's as a better place. I can be judgemental at times and for this I do apologize, but I think i always want the best for everybody and when I see the self Sabotage going on around us it makes me angry , makes me feel like I can help them , when in fact I can only share the wealth and if they listen then it will be a bonus, assuming that I'm right is also another downfall of mine so taking everything with a grain of salt I only hope that things are well for all and the worlds volatility calms down, we have so many things going on in the world right now and so much hatred being spread, unfortunately from a lot of our elected Far right officials but that's another story in itself that i won't waste my time with. Give faith a chance and let Religion pay its own way, for they are worlds apart in my eyes.. good Day!

Not Much Going On!

Made it therough the weekend and now Monday is here, sitting at the front desk awaiting the first customer ,or phone call of the day and trying to be somewhat productive with myself in here today. The cool weather has zapped the need or want to be outside and in the elements so golfing probably not going to happen anytime theis morning and will be relegated to the garage hitting net to do anything golf wise. The weekend wa s avery quiet one, we had a viewing on Friday and were to go to a Party on Saturday, wasn't feeling it so terria  dropped off the cake i made and came home shortly after. We watched a movie and essentially were within arms  reach of each other all weekend long which is the norm thank God. Did our weekend of the gym and i went for a short hour ride towards Ojai and enjoyed the new bike and the roar of that Ducati v-twin sound, very cool! A very quiet and non descript exsitance these days, the normal work grind and the normal family  stuff on an everyday basis which is cool to me but not very exciting to write about. Other than getting my volume 2 published and waiting for it I have nothing going on personally but the aforementioned Work , Home ,Gym golf Wife and love thing going on and thats enough for me , throw in a few hard motorcycle rides and there you have it. So more as the day presents itself with exzcitement, otherwise very drab today being Monday and the start of a 5 day week for me. good times, til later

The Baking is Done

Well the Chocolate fudge ganache cakes are done, one is for the funeral tomorrow and the other for a Birthday party we are attending. Made with chocolate cake, chocolate butter cream frosting made with real butter and chocolate ganache center and drizzled tops and sides.Very rich and very tasty indeed. Hope the folks enjoy them both, one to celebrate a birthday and the other to share sorrow for a lost loved one! God Bless All! 

Cold and Wet Friday

Very cold and wet day on my Friday off, the rain is going to be with us most of the weekend and that's ok with me. Just finished up Volume 2 of Saurus and the blogs will continue with more of what makes me me, my ability to share and communicate my feelings of a given day. Don't really have much going on this weekend, the weather will keep us indoors and that's ok too. Do have a Birthday party to attend and hope to do so with Terria providing the weather isn't too cold or wet. Going to make another cake for my sister Linda's Father in law who recently passed away, going to the viewing tonight, the funeral is tomorrow  and we won't be attending it. So I'm going to get baking now and try to make another incredible cake for the grieving family! Til later in the day  Good Day!

Beginning of a New chapter and another book Of Blog

I feel it is time to publish another portion of my ongoing blog at this time, the last one was a gift to Terria , this one will be a gift to US and for US and the growth and healing of a wounded soul has really taken  a very long and tumultuous journey to a place that is both peaceful and healthy.  Last night I talked with my wonderful wife about what it means to be me and how I See my world at times through her soul and through her eyes. She read my blog from yesterday and asked what i meant when i said something about life both WOWING  me and disappointing me at the same time... very simply  ups and downs , highs and lows and nothing in particular just that I am my biggest critic and my biggest fan all rolled into one. Last night i baked a Cake for a great friend Of Terrias , her birthday had come and gone and i feel that her Friend Teresa is her truest friend, may not be her best friend, don't really know but she is there for everything that me and my wife ever go through from the first time we met her. I texted her yesterday acknowledging her presence as Terria's friend and letting her know she mattered to us, this woman who has had her own issues and her own medical troubles with her and her Boy Joey yet always has time to check on Terria  as good friends do. We do appreciate her very much. We don't have many friends but the one's we do are true to the core and for that i am very thankful! With all that happens on a regular basis there is the one constant in our lives that keeps us all so real, the Love and communication skills that we have always had make everyday another opportunity to grow forward and become better spouses towards each other and better parents and friends to all that are in our lives. We are so very blessed to have Michael Morales in our lives as a therapist and as an emotional and at times spiritual guru to help ease our pains and give us tools to heal the wounds of our past and help alleviate any future pains  waiting in the wings. always keeping it REAL and making sure that the communication of words and feeling s never is suppressed in the ways they have been in the past. Growth is only here for those who allow  it and by allowing the old ways of doing business to fly away forever and take the new ways of dealing with feeling and emotions by dealing with them and not hiding them away. Have learned so much and am so thankful for the opportunities to succeed and progress in the ways that we have together. This chapter of my life as chronicled in these writings has been imperative for me, so very important to write and express the good the bad and the ugly as it were on a daily basis. i can always venture back and read my thoughts and feelings and know that anything is possible if we do things right. Having the most incredible support system a man can have is a great start and i am the most blessed person in the world for this, God has been incredible to me and my family and I can only be a  better person as a result of this, to take nothing for  granted and realize that things and stuff are all bullshit in the scheme of real life and people and love and gifts from the heart are all that really matter. The shit that I have is not the person that i am or want to be. so i close this Book by saying, This life is a journey with many stops, places we enjoy and places we dislike, things we are proud of and things we are ashamed to admit, people we can help and people who help us help ourselves, this journey of everyday is a borrowed day and a day not to be be taken lightly, for the deaths of people and souls occurs everyday and we shall never look back and say Shoulda, woulda ,coulda...ever, be Do-ers of good deed and helpers to those who need help and put ourselves on the back burner every now and then  because we are blessed with the strength to overcome and blessed with the wisdom and wherewithall to be in a good place to help those who cannot help themselves. all part of Gods bleesing is to put those who can in a positions to assist those are not yet able. hope you enjoyed this as well as the others that i have shared with the Blogosphere and community. Good Times!!!

Celebrating Growth

Each and every day is a real celebration of life for me these days, the  mistakes have been made , the pains doled out and the recovery well on it's way to the finishing line! I can only look back for a minute  and realize that every therapy session has a purpose, every conversation is a building block to better future and all that has transpired over the past 11 months has turned into a godsend when it appeared at one point that it would be the end of me! Odd how life takes turns wowing me and then disappointing me! Each and every aspect of where I have been and where i am at today are a journey of many things that had to happen and are and will continue to happen the way they are meant to! I can honestly say that my world and my perspective are both huge  and very small at the same time, My world has become a small microcosm of what is and should be, my perspective has gtrown beyond the scope of Greg Duran, more aware of things other than Greg, feelings and emotions are more readily dealt with and the games of Suppression are slowly going away. I have learned more about myself over the past year that I at times see myself asa diiferent person altogether, at least a more complete human being and definitely more in tunes with the abilities of giving and listening and being a better everything to those that truly matter. Picking my lifes battles and not taking on the world in all of it's stupidity has allowed to focus more on the inner Me and more on the Fsamily that I love and cherish so dearly. It's never all about me anymore and my selfish mentality has been paired down a bit, but my giving was never in question just needed to do more of it and be more thoughtful to others and their feeling and emotions. That being said I beat myself up on a daily basis about growing fast enough, well enough and just plain want things to progress the way i want them to, my patience is not a virtue and that is a key element in what ails me at times! So the growth continues, be it as fast or quickly as i'd like it to it has happened and it is a good thing. The fact that Terria  has put to rest some of her fears and i have made the strides in the right direction to realize and recognize the issues that were and have been so detrimental in my growth. The fact that i can now say as  a Good christian human being that i can feel and heal and be able to sympathize and empathize with so many other areas of life is a good step in the right direction. to walk a mile in somebody elses shoes is a good way to look at life and it makes us stop and think about how we would feel if the roles were reversed. This is surely growth and i can no longer expect the world to grow at my pace in my sequence and in my wrath of being the way i want things to be. i must and have made allowances for the world not always being to Greg's Spec's and for that i am thankful! Growth is a good thing.!  

iz-over the rainbow

Bruddah Iz, Before Jason Castro was even thought of,amazing voices both of them

Jason Castro- top 8 performance "somewhere over the raindow"

The only thing Good to ever come from American Idol!!!!

Gin Blossoms- "Found Out About You" (Live)

I almost thought this was the show we went to in Seattle but It Isn't, great times anyway and we are seeing him again in April, or July or both her locally

Carly Simon - Nobody Does It Better

A great song that reminds me of Brandon Scott King, a little 5 year old boy who my sister April baby Sat, He was tragically killed while riding his bike. I named my own son after him. Thanks Carly Simon For the great memories and one of the most adorable and personable little boys I have ever met!

Carole King It's too late -Live in room sound

This is one of the Three songs that I confess instantly bring tears to my eyes, for some reason this song as well as Suspicious minds and Breads make it with are reminders of childhood memories that for reasons that only I realize to be true to my heart

Catching Up, been away for a minute!

Day off from work today and a day at the gym and golf course and the usual pattern of ritualistic accomplishments. All being what they are, a good day nonetheless, spent with Terria and so glad she has returned from her trip from visiting with Braz and can get back to a routine of loving and enjoying my wife again. The girls at work constantly checking on me to make sure i was good and in a good place, all knowing my deep admiration for my wife and missed her very much. Golfed with Richard on Thursday and went to Sabrina's House warming party on Saturday and stayed relatively busy and content as could be under the circumstances . Visit to Michael today went very well and good for some retrospection and some laughs all in the same visit, business as usual and all good in the grand scheme of things. So back to work tomorrow for Terria and i and I know that the kids will be glad to see Terria back in the classroom which is a good thing for everybody, Terria and the kids and i for one am always happy to go to work everyday being blessed to do what I do and have so much to be thankful for and so much to come home to every single day. A short work week for me ,off Friday and wait and see what the week brings us. Hoping the weekend brings good riding weather which translates into Golf weather as well.good Days ahead. Feeling really good and very ambitious about many things, the ebay thing has run it's course , out of things to sell and have pocketed nearly 2400 on junk, collectibles and other shit, all in all good times!

Perspective and Suppression

A good day so far so much in store for the day today, work is slow as usual and i have one last item on ebay to sell , my Newest Ping G15 golf clubs are going away via ebay. After hitting my old clubs I seemed to hit the older ones better and farther than with the newest technology?? So today we are taking half day, Rich and i that is and golfing 18 holes today and a much needed round of golf. After that i come home around 430, shower and head to te Valley to meet up with Erwin and Oscar my old rising buds for dinner and a drink at the Pizza Cookery, odd enough on Topanga and Erwin St. Be really good to reconnect with old friends and haven't seen them in over a year, ever since Prozac moved to Baja the crew kind of disbanded and wen their own way, along with some of the crew having marital issues, some by default and others by indiscretions and some bad juju! So we meet up tonight and look forward to the weekend , which will conclude on Sunday with a belated Birthday lunch with Big brother Rich in moorpark, then headed to LAX to pick up my Honey after 9 days without her at my side. Last night i shared some good stuff with Michael and he re-instilled in me the fact that i must allow myself the opportunity to share my thoughts and my ails with my wife and allow her a bigger part of the internal Greg and to not suppress the emotional aspects of what makes me so internal with the cerebral part of me. He has been a rel asset in the awareness of what makes me so damn complex, the intelligence part i always got, but the portion of child rearing years when i should have been a kid and not concerned with dads drinking , or folks fighting and emotionally raising myself the way I did, in the process will go into problem solving mode before letting the emotional aspect allow me to center the issue. By suppression, i kill off the emotional because it brings back the years and days of a bad thought or part in my life that I wished wouldn't have happened or would have happened differently. Yeah Morales , we touched upon the fact that hispanic cultures sometimes get in the way of teaching loving characteristics and the roles instilled in man  versus woman.When I questioned why my folks didn't divorce and make us all happier by allowing us to love each one separate instead of them being unhappy together he  Brought up a good cultural point in the cultures between Hispanic and black cultures, the Hispanic family will stay together through thick and thin, thus creating the resentment and the fighting that ensues but they stick around and do the damage unbeknownst to them as un sophisticated beings. The black families will break apart and it is very common in todays culture to see the Black athletes for example where the mothers have different last names than their kids because they have re married and the fathers in the kids lives are more obscured...interesting cultural differences, sometime I wished that the Hispanic culture were more like that , they have so may kids because it indicates to them a sense of power and machismo i having kids, most of which they lack the tool or resource to properly raise, there in lies the issue with our schools and corrections agencies. Kids that aren't taught to love and to cope grow up with the issues that we see in today's society, being raised by Grandma or auntie is not parenting , its passing the buck! So I sit here today with the world at my finger tips and my coping  skills are are almost too good for my own healthiness but the missing part of Greg is the emotional part, where i start to feel and get emotional with me instead or carrying the burden for everybody else and caring too much of others welfare. I would rather give too much and care too much than be that Narcissistic asshole that see's the world as  my own dominion to do for me ,all about me all of the time, it isn't all about me and won't ever allow that to happen. i can be selfish in my wants and needs and take care of those with the means necessary but won't walk over anybody to get them. i love to love and be loved and this natural feeling and emotion is healthy in the right doses, for that I can attest, being off kilter at times and coupled with the suppression of it all can make things more difficult at times, I seek out more emotional release and allow myself the right to cry as well as laugh , to feel as well as solve my shit, and to be held tightly as i hold others tightly in my hands. Life is a bout of wins and losses and the way we bounce back from our losses humbles us for our victories, all perspective and a good balance is always needed in living a balanced existence. for the days are great and the nights are incredible. 3 more days to my Baby Coming home to me. Look forward to a productive day, a great weekend and even a housewarming party for the midget we call Sabrina her at work. I'm really good right now and feel growth everyday, Life is amazingly ,going better than i ever had planned! Have a great day and see you soon Terria Lynn! much love

Personal Maintenance and Parenthood 101

hERE AT WORK AND AN HOUR TO GO IN THE WORKDAY, NO GYM TODAY FOR ME AND THE RAINS AND WINDS HAVE TAKEN THE GOLF OPTION AWAY FOR THE DAY. fEEL A GOOD THERAPY SESSION WITH MICHAEL COMING ON AND I DO NOT HAVVE MUCH TO SAY BUT FEEL A VISIT THERE IS A GOOD THING...oops, Caps Lock Doh! Anyway i feel like a day off from everything , word from Terria and being a mother never subsides, even when visiting our boy on a mini vacation. Very mad props to T on her quest for ur boys success and happiness, being young and dumb doesn't always afford the best judgement in the world and we all make mistake, some biger than others but as a youngster the reprocutions of these actions have no history and nothing to cross reference the right and wrong and the things of working themselves out are an uncertainty when dealing with shit for the first time! I do commend the strength and the communication abilities of my wife for she is strong and powerful with her actions and her words and does not hold anything back..ever. i love that feature about a strong woman and the fact that she can and would survive fine without me or any other man just on her wits and abilities to survive and thrive in this topsy turvy world of ours. so much Pride goes out when i think of my wife and knowing she is the supportive mother, wife and friend to so many on so many occasions is truly a commendable thing to live with. I am so very blessed to be in this strength and to be able to give this all back to her day by day minute by minute and hope that this will be good enough in the end. My visit with Michael will be a nice change of pace to share whatever comes to mind, my anxiety my sleepless nights, or nights when i'm up til 2 am thinking and pondering my life, my days and the years ahead of us . this in fact could be my Achilles heel, the thought processes of over indulging the mind with needless thoughts and sometimes doubts as to how i live and prosper with so much left to mend in my mind and in my heart. being such a powerful and dynamic person i hurt people ,i love people and I give so much of myself in areas that maybe should be left alone, but my caring nature sometimes blinds my better judgement and takes me the long way to get back where i should be. right now i miss my wife and i miss my conversations and loving her every single day, my loneliness right now leads me to self medicate with doing things, the gym, golfing , searching online and my Ebay gig  to get me to 3:25 pm this Sunday when My life can regain it's order and i hug my sweetie really tight.  Good Days and good times i know , but for now i occupy myself with the positive thoughts and directing my energy to the good things that await me when i get home!

One Day Closer!

Not really much going on in my world today, work was great today we had a really nice day and took a coworker to a nice  Italian lunch at Dominicks and had a smooth day. Hit some golf Balls with my old clubs better than ever, so well i chose to sell my new ones, my G15's on ebay and will get a newer set when the new models come out later this year and get the custom fitting that the old clubs have and it really makes a difference. So tomorrow i venture back to work, one day closer to seeing my Terria back in my arms and next to me, been the hardest week of my life for sure but it is a real growing experience for sure. tomorrow i get to share this with Morales and see what he has to say about Greg, last week i had my head up my ass he says and now i have my head removed from my ass  and se if the hair looks good after the fact???? As the rain falls outside right now i don't see golf tomorrow and i feel like a good gym day is on tap.a friend from Washington State is coming back to NBVC and living in one of our houses at Mugu, a real good guy and a great family that I am so happy to get back. We shared some good times and Adam was the one guy who was i town the day I crashed my bike and visited me in the Hospital while he was down from Wa. State for a brief training and meant alot to me , he has been in constant contact with me over the  last 3 years while stationed at whidbey island. good to have him back. Well i'm ready for a quick soda and a thought about an earlier sleeptime tonight .. Good night see you soon honey! love you! It's midnight , I'm done for tonight

Early Night Tonight

After last nights hijinx and late night early morning writing and posting I am relaxing in a more tranquil way tonight. Just came back from Big sister Aprils house from a Valentines dinner of Rib eyes and shrimp and veggies, very good , very nice for her to invite both Brandon and I and we grubbed big time, still full. Was reading some of my writing from last night and early this morning and really feel good about expressing the things that i do, and enjoy writing about my thoughts and the processes in which some of these thoughts are created. i can't help being Greg and being me is all that i've ever known so its so very easy for me to express myself in this forum, moreso than in person than I'm just a spewing lunatic but thats not for me to decide i think. anyways I am feeling pretty good today, Work was great, i took in the cake and they all loved it and appreciated the work that i went through to make it all happen. I'm talking to my wife as I write and feel good to hear her weary voice sounds tired and is complaining of a slight headache but loving the sound of her tired voice. I too am getting tired and feel like calling it a night, still talking to my Honey  and ready for the bed bell to ring. Good night Honey!

Jim Croce- Thanks for the thought Provocation

I am still watching Jim Croce documentary and his music is so soothing and relaxing to me and my thoughts, his song writing only makes me want ti write more and more and the voice melts my thoughts in a totally positive direction. This is what i always talk about when i say that consciousness of mine has so many triggers and so many feeder arms that reach out an seek out the inspiration of another fresh thought in my mind, give me something to think about or talk about to somebody who might understand me a bit or take the time to let me share my gifts of gab and the bit of knowledge that i mat have on a particular subject, but its the mind and the thoughts that are in a constant state of flux, moving on and moving up I bid a good night and good morning . again Happy Valentines day Honey... Good days indeed. Thanks Jim Croce for the music, and the short life you shared the greatness of your words and your incredible voice, very great piece of work on this documentary! nite all!!!Damn i miss my better half and my inspirational being!

The day turned Into Valentines day

Haven't been writing much lately, not for any reason just lacked the push and pull to freely write something from the heart, not forced or coerced by any certain event or reasons, just freedom to express myself in a way that only i will ever understand. Sometimes i hear /Michael Morales nail me on the head and post a stamp on my personality or behaviors and gets me to a T, other times i drift away in my own consciousness and say to myself" Nobody will ever truly Get me" and for that I actually get excited to be new and different and an anomaly to many and a hero to some, sometimes i bear the burden of being the constant positive and that "go to" guy who is always expected to be right, to do right and to have or find the right answers. I am and I do place a premium on being better than everybody else in the effort and execution, but sometimes my better judgements show me and the world that Gregory Is human and will and can fuck his shit up. so here i am nearing 1230 am and this mind races , not to suppress feelings but to enhance my awareness and my ability to be a better person to everybody that touches my days and nights and the life that I live is so different than many, not in the destination but in the journey and m approach which is never the same 2 consecutive days, i love to be loved and love to give it all back, being liked is not an option if it means I must compromise any part of my self and my soul and who I am is what you always see that much i can guarantee on a daily basis. While riding my motorcycle today I had a plethora of emotions and ideas which came to me in a turn leaned over at 65 mph, if i were to die today would i have made a difference to this world, knowing full well that this life is so precious and so short and how much love I have in my life with my wife and kids and my immediate family and friends! too much of a thought . My Big sister April Texted me asking if I was riding my motorcycle today, not yet but i am going later...ok cool because she heard a motorcyclist died on hwy 33 which i frequented 3 times a week in my hey day and she was happy to see my text stating that i was ok. This triggered my mid turn thought of love and awareness of what i was doing, knowing that a family is grieving tonight losing their loved one on that motorcycle ride on hiway 33 . What a thought to have but perspective was gained and knowing that I am an integral part of this world to those who matter means more to me than anything. Life is so precious, and the one chance we have to live it to its fullest cannot be lost of petty bullshit, worries or jealousies that seem to invade our thoughts and lives. We live for today and hope tomorrow comes, when tomorrow comes we dive in head first and realize that this vicious cycle is our to win , or ours to lose  and we have control of what we do and that which is outside our scope, we wash our hands and use the faith that we have to make it through the mean days of life and this cruel world outside our doors. so tomorrow is here and I know i am ready for it, even if t is my last one, i have lived a great life . Yeah that turn on the motorcycle had me thinking these thoughts, this complex, thoroughly complicated frazzled super highway of thoughts and dreams and worries always working , even after midnight, so i bid a great night and a new day is already here . Happy Valentines Day All you lovely lovers out there!

Jim Croce - I Got a Name (1973)

My favorite song in 6th grade, killed me when he died and would no longer make anymore music. Watching a PBS documentary on Jim Croce right now after midnight and a workday Monday awaits me ...oh well

Come Monday ~ Jimmy Buffett

This Song Is dedicated to my wonderful wife Terria Lynn Duran

LOOKING GLASS- "JIMMY LOVES MARY-ANNE"

my favorite Looking glass tune, even moreso than Brandy

Tommy James Crimson And Clover

Classic Gold!!!!! Period

Tommy James Crystal Blue Persuasion

A- fucking- mazing song and even better live version

The Grass Roots - Midnight Confessions

Damn the hits keep coming

'Temptation Eyes' by The Grass Roots

Being multi generational and faceted when it comes to music, a real classic Saurus Hit that I still try to bellow out when it comes on

The Polecats - Make A Circuit With Me - Antwerp 2010

Polecats , love this song , right before I went punk rock enthusiast, good times, thanks for the memories!

Staying Interested and Productive!

One of the laziest Sundays in the history of Greg, well at least until 230 when I finally got dressed and went to the gym for a good workout. Waking up at 10 am was a joke to me, lost all drive after going to bed at 1230 and talking to Terria and feeling really empty with her being gone for another week. but understanding the fact that her trip was so necessary and that In retrospect I should have gone with her and i told her that I made a mistake by not going, even though I know i would have gone crazy, I could  have at least been by my wifes side and support the boy at the same time. Yeah retrospect, what a deadly thing to have that hindsight and be able to correct decisions made and things done in error but what the hell, we move on to today. The lazy day ended at 230 , Got to the gym and worked out really well, left the gym and headed home and hopped on the Duc and went up 150 through santa Paula, got dark on me and had to fill up in santa Paula and headed back after about a 50 mile quick ride, still learning the Bike and geting fairlty confident about it , still fine tuning ti and need to tweek the suspension a little, will have Brandon help me set up sag and preload on it . But it was a spirited but tame ride and got home in one piece, texted Teria to let her know i was cool and ready to start the next project. The heart shaped tiered monstrosity Valentines day cake for the girls at work, Chocolate with Strawberry filling and topping, made with Strawberry frosting and so damn good and finally finished that about 840 tonight, haven't eaten dinner so made sausage and eggs and wheat toast and am good to go, prior to that a Bologna sandwich for Lunch with no breakfast. Terria being gone  has thrown me out of my routine and the will to early rise is not there i tell you. Now that i own a motorcycle again I am so ready for the racing season to begin, starting off in Daytona the first or second weekend of March, so looking forward to it, since the end of 2009 season and the retirement ogf my man Mat Mladin i had a hard time following the season last year but realize the changing of the guard is a natural progression with everything we do in life.  I miss my wife and miss the nightly conversations, as i write this I am texting her and sharing my day and she shares with me the goings on in Hawaii with the day with Braz and Nikki and sharing Nikkis bad temper and control issues  so its up to our boy to stand and deliver the knockout blow and move on in his young life but we stand back and let them live and learn. so tomorrow I start the new work week and look forward to the gang and taking in the delicious cake that i worked really hard to produce, knowing the girls will be appreciative of me thinking of them and i love giving what I can. So tomorrow will come soon enough and me and Brandon will be each others valentines tomorrow..lol good times ! Have an incredible week all!!!!!!

People are awesome

People are awesome- This was posted by Ben Bostrom on Twitter, I'm borrowing it and to share it's sheer amazing content

Staying Busy!

Day 1 of Terria's trip to Hawaii, feels like forever ago that I dropped her off at terminal 2 at LAX and said goodbye for 9 days. Never been apart that long and never want to be again. Thinking about it I should have gone but my dislike for the Hawaii thing won out here and that 6 hour flight blows as well. Today has been a lazy ,yet productive one. Got up at 9 and got on computer calls Terria and spoke to her and then decided to go to the gym ,had 2 boxes mailed for me by Brandon and now I'm done with the gym await a call from Prozac who is in town to celebrate his friends US citizenship in LA yesterday so feeling good about it all. If he calls we will meet for lunch and then try to find something productive to do after that, not knowing what and how productive but I could sit in front of the TV and watch Golf From Pebble Beach,or go to hi balls which may not happen since Angie has my truck moving today. I could hit into the net and probably will, a quick ride maybe and then call Terria and see what she's buying at the Swapmeet in Honolulu Stadium, talk about a big swapmeet, just no more junk please sweetie...please. Well time for this production to start, by turning on the TV it has begun. Great days !

Wild West - Joe Jackson

One of the biggest musical influences of my time.. Incredible ,went from punk to soul to POP and now classical

Third Eye Blind - Bonfire - Official music video w/ lyrics

Third Eye Blind - Faster

Yes!

Peering Out From my Keester

Another day here in socal and the sun is out and the winds are blowing really hard today, no golf for sure today. Might be able to utilize the lunch period to go to the gym and ride the bike a little to soften up the stiff knee i have today, must have slept on it wrong or whatever but it feels a little sore today and a brisk spin might make it feel better. go tomorrow for the one month checkup on it to see where it is in the healing process. Not really much going on today just a 9 hour tour of oblivious bullshit here at work , some ebay selling and a few tasks here at work that need to get done, one being my time card update to be sure i get paid in a timely manner. Well a quick hello to the world on this fine Wednesday morning of February 9, 2011 and wishing the world a peaceful great day. The world where i live is a good one and i only give thanks to those who have made this all possible, thanks to Morales for pointing out to me i've had my head up my ass my entire life. WOW1 just think how productive i could have been had I been amongst the living the past 48 years, ahh well ,my shit is others gold i suppose and i won't apologize for being me, the loving , giving ,caring person that i raised myself to be, although emotions may get suppressed, my shit gets done and mistakes are made ,but the perfect mistake free person has yet to be born, shit ,even Jesus had a few bloody hands and feet on his resume! lo, ok that was fucked up but the meaning is all true where i come from, which is deep from the asshole of my own, good times and great days indeed!

How's It Going To Be lyrics by Third Eye Blind

I love this song and can only think of my friend and co-worker Richards impending breakup, they make up to break up and are in different worlds socially, personally and realistically a mile away from getting it right. This song is for my buddy Richie B. For the strength and the love that you give that precious little girl of yours, Lylee Irene , Go get it Rich! A Good young man and a great father!!!! Fighting the fight for the love of his life, his baby daughter. I sure am proud of you my friend

Stories I Tell

Ahh yes , yet another Toad the wet sprocket Gem that reminds me of a span 20 years ago when I was running the streets of Ventura chasing my ass, or trying to pull it out of it...either way a true classic Saurus jam!!!

Lazy Assed Sunday

I am trying to get motivated and get Terria equally as motivated but it ain't easy this lazy Sunday morning. Got up at 8 am and read the paper ,went online and watched some video , some motorcycle and some music and am truly trying to get off my ass right now and get the Gym before I blow it off altogether! Yesterdays workout was a half ass attempt to save energy for my ride later in the day, this morning I will do a little cardio and stretch out my knee  and prepare it for a quick ride around then Lake then head home and get ready fro the trip to my Brother Rich's house to watch the game and make some dead cow for the game. Terria and Brandon are going and hopefully Tim and Ape will be back in time from Vegas for the kick off . So I see Terria off her keester and hopefully she is ready to put her shoes on and be off to Bally's for a nice stretch out workout  and get ready for my ride. Today is a very tranquil day and I am ready for the football season to be done and the Baseball season to get started. Pitchers and catchers report 3rd week of Feb so we are ready for this Baseball thing to take off. Heading to Az. in March sometime to catch some games and really am excited about that! Well the cry has been heard and I must be up and dress for the gym and the feeling good aspect of it once I'm finished. Good Times ahead, Feeling a lot more writing coming on later  so I hope I can be verbose as I tend to be...that's me, I guess If you got something to say..say it, if not ,STFU is all I'm saying

Sunday and the Big Game

Another somewhat Lazy weekend day but why do i feel so damn tired, The Gym , golf balls and culminating with moderate ride to Lake Casitas and through o'jai and home, nothing too drastic just still tryijng to adjust the bike to my riding style and get in dialed in properly. Made some tweaks and felt better today but still have more minor adjustments to make and it will be where i need it to be. Golf went ok, not as good as it has been but there will be days when I just don;t have it, today was one of those days! WE are spending tomorrow with my Rich in moorpark and watching the game at his house, made his favorite lemon chiffon cake and will eat well tomorrow with the BBq and the game as a secondary means of Sunday, I'm so over Football but the game is big and i will watch it and hopefully will go quickly but hanging with Terria ,Brandon ad brother rich is always a great day.as for the game could give a rats ass who wins, up early in the morning to get to the gym then maybe a quick ride and then head over to moorpark to see brother Rich and do the game. No Golf tomorrow, Terria 's sore elbow from balls today and a much needed day off for me .Tomorrow has nothing going out on Ebay, Monday shipping out my last 2 of 3 items left in my sports memorabilia collection and then it gets harder to find things that are worth something to sell on Ebay. but tomorrow is a day of relaxation and time with family. God Night

For Squirrels - Mighty K.C.

This band and song are a very big piece of Growing up as a single parent from Brandons 7th birthday on, we shared the love for this song and this entire album and I knew he would follow in my footsteps for the love of music and songs that are obscure like this one but we know great songs when we hear one. the irony of this song is that the theme is death in this song and the lead singer and a few others were killed shortly after this song was produced... "For Squirrels" What a great group that never got to be shared with the rest of the world

Salvation - Elton John (Honky Chateau 6 of 10)

My Favorite Elton John Tune! and he has alot of songs that I grew up loving and still do

The Folk Implosion - Natural One (1995)

A Very Good Song from the 90's that I really forgot about

Ask and She Shall receive

A very good Friday today and a really uneventful weekend of plan less days and fun filled whatever's is on the horizon. I was questioned by my wife tonight why I did not write today, I can never use the term I was really busy at work today Honey, she knows better than that and i won't insult her intelligence with such a statement from my side of the  barn. To answer her Question i simply said, i had nothing to write about, so now that I do have something to write about which includes not having anything to write about and having to write about it is really incredibly counter productive from a creativity stand point I think but i do love to spout off about something , even if that something is dogshit Greg Spew nothingness, which in my book is better than most other intelligible scribe so yeah, I'm pretty proud of "me" and full of it as well! Hey, Ebay was somewhat kind to me today, sold 2 more items and didn't sell 3 others and look forward to shipping the 2 items out tomorrow when we head to the base and hit balls and then will take my Italian out for a ride somewhere since the knee is almost at full flex right now and less swelling so i will be able to move around on the bike a little easier and ride a bit more comfortably tomorrow.  One more week before My Terria goes away for 8 days and I am somewhat apprehensive about her trip for my own selfish reasons but also for the fact that the trip could bring some animosity if something is said or done in her presence she could go into protective mother mode and all the better if somebody is dumb enough to press the issue. So i pray for a great visit with our boy and represent us both and share our love for our son who goes into harms way here real soon along with so many others who are going with him and already there as we speak. So as usual i sit here and peak at the upcoming day and refuse to plan too much with the exception of the gym, Balls and a quick ride but the rest of the day and evening is open for something new or something old to do. We shall see and no too concerned about it all and ready for what will be a short workweek for me next week , a trip to LAX for Terria and i drive her to the curb and say my goodbyes knowing she will have a tough time saying goodbye to Braz and will be a long flight home for her and I only give my love and support to her and many hugs and long conversations of love and a calming loving support system for each other during this tumultuous time with our boy in harms way. We defer to Gods will and strength and to our love and adoration for each other to be strong and productive over the next year during Braz's time in the sand. so it's near the end of our night and a tired body and an active mind that never stops needs a rest right now. so good night and better days ahead

Somethings Always Wrong Live

Another Golden Gem from Toad the Wet Sprocket, Me and my music Can get out of hand but I could be smoking Crack i guess,so this might be a better addiction

All Right - Toad The Wet Sprocket

My Favorite Toad the Wet Sprocket song and in my top 20 of all time, very great to hear this song , heard it for the first time during my first divorce and for some reason puts a smile on my face, when one door closes another one opens I supppose. Yeah life turned out pretty damn Alright ... Alright

Being A Parent- the Job that keeps on taking

Early morning rising and getting ready for work is always a good thing, means you made it through the night and get another chance to live another day in this mean cruel world. but the world where you live determines the level of cruelty and rudeness in which we partake. the peacefulness of a late night conversation with my wife and the reservations we may share towards our boys in the certain areas that there are reservations that need to be held onto. We as parents never stop parenting and never stop trying to make our children's lives better  by teaching them , protecting them and even buying an online book for college courses for Brandon, whatever it takes we are there and that's what we do. the thoughts and worries of braz and Nikki are so far out of reach that good thoughts and prayers are the only way out of it all, we try not to think not only of the impending deployment to the desert but the ongoing personal drama for Braz as he endures  a thoughtless and mean spirited new marriage to a very immature and issue laden young lady. We try to stay out of his business but we he calls in a panic and angry at the world for the 10th time over the same stupid issue, we say" stop enabling "and walk away from the train wreck you call a marriage and go on and enjoy your youth , bang as many chicks as you thin you need to and enjoy what your youth is supposed to be about. whatever the case may be living in an unhappy world is  not a good place for anybody to be, especially when you have youth on your side and are just starting out in this world on your own,with your new cars and motorcycles and first apartment and the time to put on the grown up pants is here and now and time to assume the role. But how do you talk to a teenager who know everything in their mind when in actuality they know nothing and forget some moist everything we taught  them or tried to tell them the previous day. youth is a fickle mother fucker , they try so hard to be grown up and yet have so little skill in performing this act a they have nothing to fall back on but mom and Dad doing shit for them and they fall flat when it comes time to make the call to the bank or send the bill off in the mail and take care of the business that they tried so hard to to grown up so fast for. Well the time is here and now and the oil rises to the top of this oil spill of a learning curve for our young children. As a parent we try to teach and show in example, yet all they see is the house and the nice furniture and the toys and the Bank account, they see nothing of the time and efforts put into gettig to that point or the sacrifices made i areas to get us there. they see end result and destination, not the arduous journey to where the parent are. We are in a good financial hold and an even better personal and spiritual choke hold of this marriage we call our own. The time and efforts required to get here are efforts I truly doubt our new generation of youth will ever truly attain, they are a fast food, quick fix ,"ME" generation of slackers who don't know what it is to put in work or give up something now for something better later. Life's perspective to them is a new pair of jeans or a cool car or the latest sunglasses that they saw some punk ass singer wear at the Grammy awards. so whatever the case may be , we as parents sit back and wait for the kids to implode and come calling to us for help, guidance , assistance whatever they may need, they are and will become needy because they skipped a few steps in the growing up process to get there and didn't learn it all properly, crash course in life skills never accomplish much. as a 48 year old parent I succumb to the sometime ignorant plight of our youth and throw my hands in the air til they need us again, maybe we are the enablers and we are the cause of the problem.. whatever the case may be ,i have an Orlando golf trip to Plan...excuse me whilst i surf a bit in my search

MC Hammer Cant Touch This

Another Classic Hammer moment, maybe even a classic Saurus moment for the admiration of this dude is amazing to me!!! And i don't really like his music, just his dancin and prancin.The Break it down portion just floors me

MC Hammer - Dancin' Machine

I could watch Hammer dance all night long, i love the athleticism that he puts out,damn talented man he is.

Frank Schaeffer "Spiritual guru"

I was Reading on line in between breaks in my selling endeavors on Ebay this morning and came across another nugget of wisdom from Frank Schaeffer, the man i credit for getting back to christianity and believing in God again. The man who i do call "My Spirituality guru" for so many reasons. first and foremost he is honest and intelligent. His background of coming from the depths of the a place that i truly despise, the fundamentalist right wing of America, he changed, realized the errors of his ways and apologizes for helping to create the Sarah Palins and all of the other fake christian money-making machine that they have become. i can respect a person who admits his faults, fixes them and devotes himself into sharing the true meaning of Christianity s to love and to make  those around us happier people, and in the process we too will become better for our giving of ourselves. not the bible thumpers who want the world to know they are Christians and go to church and Tithe their asses off and want everybody to know this fact, throw in a few well placed paragraphs from the bible and there you have it, Sarah Palinesque Bullshit! So I move to today and have some internal turmoil goin on among 2 of my closest coworkers in their lives, Angie who i love like a sister and who while pregnant with her baby barged into ICU to see me when i crashed my motorcycle and wouldn't take NO for an answer even though they told her so, she did it anyway and i will never forget that, and was the only one to visit me at home while i was re-couping. Richard and his relationship issues have been resolved, his girl told him she made a mistake and wants to come back and start over with him and he is really in a bittersweet place as he was ready to start a new chapter but loves the idea of waking up to his new baby everyday and not just during visitation weeks, so all that being settled i get back to my point about Schaeffer and his teachings to me through his books and his words! He has taught me many humbling things, first off that we can never interpret the bible as totally correct, interpreted by man , man has many flaws and the bible was translated and passed down by uneducated peasant people who probably lost some of the tranlation and passed down various other erroneous statements, so don't take the bible at Face value, there are some incorrect things i it, i have always believed that to be true and have always said that to myself and have never truly bough into it all. Having read the bible 4 times front to back, i can make this statement about my opinion of it's incorrectness based on the fact that i experienced it for myself through my own eyes and not somebody else eyes or opinion. The other point i have taken to heart and try to apply on a daily basis is this, he says that the person we truly are is to be determined by those who love and admire us, our brothers and sister, wives and children who will speak honestly of who we are. so if somebody asked me Greg what kind off person are you, ,i would say i hope i a a good, trustworthy ,loving and giving unselfish person who knows how to love and to be loved properly. The real answer will always come from those who know me and can make the statement of whether or not Greg is a good person, dad, husband and all the aforementioned attribute, we are our own worst critic and how i perceive myself is not the same as others perception of the person that i am. I will be disliked somewhere at sometime, but the real test is those that i should be god too all of the time and do I do it is the real key, not what i think I am but what I prove to be true i the eyes of the people i love and those who love me back. Lastly the "GOLDEN RULE" has been embedded in my mind by Schaeffer as a simple guideline and i think about it all of the time and say to myself, "would i want that to happen to me , or be treated like that"? the million  dollar question and it does help shape the person that i have become by stopping to take a moment and review my actions, thoughts or demeanor and their positiver or negative effects on somebody else!  I will post  a link from Schaeffers Blog and share this tidbit of goodness and see where i get the strength to rise above and beyond what this sad pitiful world at times has to offer;  here goes, thanks and Good days!Enjoy    http://frank-schaeffer.blogspot.com/2011/02/how-do-you-keep-faith.html

Wait To Workout....Killing time

As I sit here and wait for Terria to come home from Michaels office , we are going to the gym together and I sit in my TV Room chair pondering whether I want to go or not, After hitting Golf balls at lunch I was drained and really hit the shit out of them, working on some new stuff and it seemed to work a little  not too many bad shots today and it felt really nice to try something new that really worked. I will go to the gym and work out my upper body tonight and stretch the leg out a little and will give it a day off from working on it, feels really good and I'm thinking a 200 miler this weekend on the Italian somewhere somehow but don't know where to go as of yet. We shall see, but I will take Terria Golfing on Saturday after the gym and then head out for a ride to parts unknown. The day went rather slowly today, had front desk duty and answered calls and helped quite a few folks and then went to lunch to hit balls. Throughout the day i was checking my Ebay bids and sales and seeing where i was at, i mailed off 3 items today before i went to the range and headed aback to see if I had been [aid by the other 2 items that sold at 10 am, one was pai the other I still await paypal payment for that one. I am selling 2 other items that will end in about 5 hours so will have 5 more items to ship when i get to work tomorrow, a [pair of Offroad boots and a pair of Golf shoes, to go with an Offroad Monster energy Helmet and a Denver Broncos Football helmet. I have a stock Ducati seat and exhaust still being bid on for 3 more days and will shit them out after the auction is over for those so this really keeps me busy and i might look into selling more stuff as i find it , if not hunt down things that are sellable on Ebay . All tolled about 1300 plus in my pocket and have 3 more helmets That i could sell and 3 more Gloves that Could hit it as well ,but the 2 favorite Gloves will not go on Ebay Ever. But my Rams Helmet and Saint Helmet could fetch 200 a piece as well as a Set Of Mizuno Clubs so there could be 600 more in my pocket for things that I'm not using.... Me likey this Ebay thing. So Terria is her and changing, looks like the gym wins out and laziness loses tonight, it's all good and fair i suppose. Off to see the Wizard and transform nto an Adonis of some sort, otherwise known as Greg the Toad!!!

My Day has Started

Hey! Tuesday is here and ready to tackle the day here at work by blogging my ass off. Not much going on here, no drama in the workplace yet and my Buddy rich is handling his breakup with the ex GF really well, she is using the child as a hostage now and her true Mexican colors are coming out right now. i tell him to sit back and let her implode and for him just  to be the best father that he possibly can, his little girl will always be his little girl and the mother will be a bad after thought. So he 9is doing better and his visit to Michael really helped out his mind at ease! I'm doing very well thank you very fucking much this Ebay selling thing is really some work i tell you, the research and the constant updating, answering buyers questions , sending responses in a timely manner is really work, then coupled with the whole shipping aspect of Ebay! That is a job i tell you, having sold 12 items already and have made 1200 bucks in 7 days, really incredible, now that the good stuff is gone i need to find more stuff to sell, golf Clubs, gloves and other things that are here are very tempting to sell but would regret the fact that some of these are somewhat sentimental, but i can sell the Mizuno Clubs never will sell my Ping i3's those are my first fitted set of clubs that I bought 12 years ago with my friend Rudy who is no longer with us ,so these will stay out of respect to my Friend Rudy and my love or the Ping brand. Telling terria that we have already paid for the Orlando trip and that is a good thing, we should do very well on our Federal returns this year with the big interest credit from the house payment, just 9 more years and we are done paying on this home in the ghetto, but it is home and we try to make it nicer each day. As for me , the Knee is fucking amazing right now, I have actually come back to about 70% strength and am lifting more weight with it each day. Feel like dancing and really want to get out and walk a little and test the other one out to see if this one get a cleaning out anytime soon. Things are great Terria readies for her Hawaii trip to see Brazman and she is excited about that, don;'t know what i will do i n her absence but i sense Tim will come to the rescue and take me out and golf and stay busy, have gotten way used to having my wife with me most every day and by my side when we cook , clean and relax so it will be weird and haven't gone longer than 5 days away from her ever! So we carry on and think about the future knowing the past is done and gone and hoping that the open minded thought processes stay in tact as they have been. Life with apprehension is a tough cookie to crack and am trying very hard to alleviate that aspect of the healing for both Terria and I so we continue to do the things we need to do to make tomorrows future even better than today's. Very interesting conversation with Brandon, he has lost his luster for the culinary thing and now wants to continue his degree towards History and teaching, all fine and good i guess, but a 25 year old with a lack of direction is not a good thing but we support whatever he decides to do and hope this is what he really wants to do. He once spoke of joining the military but his bad knees were always the excuse, so now he had an appt with my Orthopedic Dr. last Friday and will require the same surgery that i had on both of his knees and thus removing that issue with his knees. The fact that this kid is so goddamn intelligent and good at everything he does but cannot find that direction to focus on and hit it hard. He would score in the 90's on his asvab which would entitle him to do whatever he wanted to do in any branch, but being that he has so many fucking tattoos is stuck with the Army as the only option. he is close to an AA degree which would entitle him to officer candidate training with his high asvab scores and his his overall intelligence. This would also help to pay for his college that he could attend while serving and then could come out and become a teacher which by that time would be more lucrative and more jobs available by then. But all we can do is suggest and he really needs to figure out the way he wants to go, he has a hard time finding things he is passionate in doing, he does everything so well  but never lasts in any area too long due to disinterest or something else! So the realization of the culinary arts didn't work out like i knew it wouldn't, long hours and stress filled work environment for not so good pay, even at the top levels the pay isn't worth the stress  and cooking is a passionate thing , you don't cook to work, you cook as a passion and that he didn't have so we move forward and at 25 he has a little timer left to figure something out. it took me til 26 before i got my shit straight an settle with the Govt. and here i am today and fine figure of a man typing her eat work doing his Ebay while being paid top dollar to do so. Life is definitely good and the boys and Terria  are keeping me young and happy. Even though Ty drives to Beverly Hills everyday to work in a professional Doctors clinic while having independant study at  school from home. He is back at his dad's house with his girlfriend and already has a car payment through his dad and the word debt is a good friend to him these days, a boy who has truly taken hos own youth away from himself but the good thing is that he is not afraid to work, that is a good thing. Braz still readies for the war and prepares him self the best he can with a wife who's infidelity right in front oif him has hardened him very much and for that i am not happy, not all woman are like that and i try to tell as does terria that moving on is not failing , it's setting yourself up for  better by having somebody who loves you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Raise the bar people, Raise the goddamn bar. If you don't think enough of yourself to require the best, than you will always settle for second best because thats where you see yourself in the grand scheme of things, as second fiddle, Not my me and not for terria but to watch our boy be hurt on a daily basis by a young girl who we took in as our own and treats him like shit is inexcusable in my eyes, but they live and hopefully learn from their mistakes, i've always been the one who preached,"learn form others mistakes and don't repeat your own mistakes1 good days and good times for the Saurus. god bless my family and god bless our Armed Service members and their families.we all go through this together