Life's Cruel Realities

After work yesterday I hopped on the Bike and went for a ride around my now famous Lake Casitas, the weather was ideal and the 86 degree heat was great once i got moving on the road. Things were fun and the road was very quiet. Get home to Some very disturbing news from Terria that a family  friend died from a massive heart attack and it kinda took the air out of our sails, Terria visibly shaken all i could do was get off the bike and hug her and tell her i love her. It really puts outr days into perspective when you lose somebody who just turnee 50 a month ago, but life is so precious and yet so fickle and the reasons for life's occurences never have to make sense , they just happen! So after a quiet night and much reflection on our own lives we stop and think a bit about what really matters in life and it all boils down to enjoying every monute and second of our existance, we have a limited time to  live and so many opportunities to be happy! So I put my book down and head to bed to hang with my Terria who is lying in bed drifting off into space, i ask how she's doing and rub her and tell her i love her again! Watch a little Becker on DVD and turn in and start a long converdsation with my wife about life , and our up bringing and the realtionships we have ,or had with our parents and really struck us as strange to reflect back on things and come to some realizations about who we are and how we were essentially stymied as kids and thus paid for it as adults in the forms of dysfunction in our lives and things we have done as adults! Terria asked me an incredible question which left me reeling in a sense, Asked if I have found any new triggers, or any new types of behavior to take me away from who i am, Ido monitor my feelings and do try to see what sparks certain reactions to certain things as they occur. Through my therapy with michael i am taught to  recognize feelings and not suppress them , dealing with my demons of suppression have really set mne back in the past so i try to jump in and at least can recognize when i am suppressing and when i do tackle my life the way it is intended to be dealt with. so the conversation with Terria was another cleansing of my psyche and soul and allows me to be honest with myself and to really get intuned with the issues that come up in my everyday life. i am so much more capable of dealing with these issues and not pushing them aside as I did in the past, for this I am eternally grateful for being given the tools and ways to mend my broken self! Today is another triumph in our lives, another day to explore and enjoy the goodness that is God given on a daily basis. I have to learn to forgive myself for being flawed and recognizing that these flaw exist is the single greatest thing to ever come aboard my boatload of issues, that will be dealt with... one issue at a time. So i progress on to the day and look forward to a lunch date with my Terria and share the hour of goodness with her. The weekend calls for a ride, some Golf and a few nice rides with my wife. so looking forward with the weather being great and the company being even better than that. all is incredibly well and I plan on maintaining that and improving upon it each and every day!