Makes me wonder

I just finished reading the book "Divinity of doubt  by Vincent Bugliosi and must say to date, it is the most thought provoking book I have ever read! It touches on so many thought rattling subject of our faith as Christians that it truly makes me think deeper and believe harder in what I really feel ans a christian. The term was brought up again that reiterates what my Spiritual guru Frank schaeffer says about Christianity, "the golden rule is by definition the way we should act a Christians, treat people with love and respect and hope that they return the same and we would all be better off in this world. Bugliosi touched upon this Golden rule and says that whether or not we are Christians and believe in god that we all should look to the golden rule and a staple in how we look at ourselves and our treatment of the world around us. I have been very reflective here lately in trying to summon the inner portions of my goodness and see through all of the negativity in our world today, the republican hate campaign, the world disasters and all of the Deaths and murders that take place on an hourly, minute by minute basis. yet i know it is the faith that we must summon to squelch all the negative thoughts and to put aside the retribution's in my mind that i will get even with those who inflict pain's and hurt on others unnecessarily and then come to points of the book that state , that God is an all knowing ,all powerful and ever present God who for some reason allows these atrocities to occur, does he want us to feel pain and be miserable??? I don't really know but this has been a question of mine for years and nobody can ever answer it properly, just have faith they say, but that's not the answer I want to hear and show me reasons why Atheists aren't wrong in their lack of belief in gods existence. we will get there i know and the world will somehow correct itself respective to where I live and breathe, i cannot or will not change the walls outside my door. i try to become a better person but it seems like my human nature can get in the way ! until later , i am off to lunch