Retrospect

 I feel really old today

not physically just mentally stuck on retrospect mode

Looking backwards at what used to be

relive it somehow to bring it back to life

Thoughts of my kids when they were young

School days and Christmas plays

Baseball and football practice

Ridiculously funny dinner conversations not meant for humor

Ex wives in deep conversation with me

One eye looking at them ,the other at the Game on TV

If only I could have looked them in the eyes

Turning the TV off

Trips to our favorite restaurants

Brandon's Chocolate chip pancake and potatoes

So many places we would go

Some are gone others bring memories won't allow me to go

I have really thought about being a young father

A very bad father at the time

I eventually learned a few things

I passed them on to my newer kids

Now my kids have had kids

7 grandchildren I call the "Littles"

Strewn all over the country

Some I'm not allowed to see

I've been married twice

I have failed twice

I've been good at fucking things up

So dinner for one at the counter please

I can run it back as many times as I want

Not sure I was ever happy or content

It was never an issue of the glass half full/half empty

My glass and it's desires were always too big

I know so many wish they could change their pasts

Make amends and do it over again

Not me, I'm where I'm supposed to be

Greg being Greg and nobody to talk to