Changes

 Forward marching looking over the hill

I'm still not there but gaining ground

The future you dream about was very near

I look over the horizon to a new playing field

What I had thought to be my future

Is an afterthought of what once was

A dream only days away

The goalpost moved to another venue

Searching for the common ground

Looking for my place in the wake

Tumultuous waters and a storms surge

The eye of my hurricane can't be found

I don't often wonder where you are 

As much as how you are and do you smile

I talk to myself and write to myself

About my losses, my present and future plans

I have no plan in my retirement years

I had a plan that went up in tears

I have ideas and I have some plans

A lonely drive across this land

A picturesque spot that I've never seen

A landscape, a portrait of a pretty woman

A homeless man that I just gave $5

His story is so much worse than mine

It reminds me a trip to Seattle

I spoke for an hour to a homeless man 

He had his faculties and his wits

But he lost his family and his kids

I am that emotionally homeless man

My former family has a new plan

I'm very sad for my outcome

I'm very happy that she is free and done

I guess I won't ever know

My last words spoken a few days ago

My grief doesn't come from me losing it all

My deepest sadness is that I couldn't be perfect

Passed on by and left unattended

nobody calls I've been unfriended

I never understood taking sides

I guess I've never had my own friends

When people say they love you

It should be forever unconditionally

You don't have to live with me just act as if I exist

Funny, if I were a murderer, you will still be talking to me

Hurricane Greg

 I feel I'm reaching a crossroads in my mind

I feel I'm trying to accept the hand I was dealt

The health, personal and miscellaneous drama

Are a spoke in the wheel of life

I can't change much in my life

I can try harder to understand

Efforts to do what I can, when I can

A trip to the gym at lunchtime

I can't make people feel a certain way

I can't count on forgiveness that may never come

If I continue to beat myself up for things I've done

The things I do will be littered with unnecessary guilt

I've lost some loved ones

They have all disappeared

As if I was never an integral part of their lives

To live such a narrow vengeful existence, I guess they have their reasons

So I move forward 

Look towards what I have to enjoy

Look away from the things I've destroyed

Hurricane Greg has come and gone

Kind Gesture

 A loving gesture goes a long way

An offer most could not refuse

An offer most should not refuse

I defer to my pride and better judgement

I thank you from the bottom of my heart

Your heart is always in the right place

Take some time to give to yourself

Let someone else give to you a little bit

I don't feel that great

I have days that are better than the others

I struggle sometimes to get out of bed

Struggle more to get out of my own way

I have people looking after me

I have love in my corner

I have pity parties every now and then 

I saw a woman in a wheelchair with no legs

Life Isn't always fair I know

I won't complain I don't have that right

I'm taken care of whether I want it or not

From every angle and aspect of my life

Thank you all who truly care

My appreciation cannot be measured

Today has its' challenges I'm willing to battle

There are no guarantees that tomorrow can offer