I came upon a sunken and hidden treasure
Maybe it was a waste land of old memories
A junkyard of almost forgotten grief
As I pulled down the boxes of old VCR tapes and useless receipts
A big dust cloud of paper, tables and loose sheets of fuller paper came crashing down
Not really surprised, I knew what they were
I knew that I would need to go through them
The thought of reading old letters and poems from a dark era
Somehow gives me solace and yet some fear
Trigger mechanisms waiting around each page
Tattered and worn paper, faded ink and the knowledge of my history written in ink
Blood , tears and shattered promises
Dreams of happily ever after diminished by trusting the untrustworthy
Fool me once shame on me, fool me 27 times, shoot me! I'm the Idiot
I've shed some tears and some angry thoughts
The pains inflicted upon and by my existance
I read aloud that random day, March, 1,1987
The lights were out, so very dark
I stayed there and played there and lost at every turn
How could I have been that guy who had given so much
Too much to the wrong person and never asked for much in return
Maybe an honest answer,
An authentic soul that gives to those you say you love
Asking too much from people who are incapable of being
Anything worthwhile but a nuisance to the world
I'm as angry now as I was disappointed then
Bad love, life and coping skills
Fueled by deceit and shameful decisions
Where honesty was not a word that ever came to fruition
One mere letter and poetic verse
900 more to read can it ever get worse?
Realizing that it was then and I'm different now
That trigger has been pulled and I'm fired up again
Perspective needed to move on forward
All the eggs in one basket cracked where they rest
I can't stay there anymore I've already left
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