Enjoying the new bike, a nice departure from the daily gym visits and a freedom away from the same atmosphere every day. Not much going on here today , just another day in what most call paradise, I get to call my every day! Was feeling like reading and have 3 books to read, but have yet to crack them open in earnest and give them a whirl. Not sure why or how I have excluded them into my daily routine. will make a point to re-examine that this evening as I'm off tomorrow from a short work week and nothing to do, yet all day in which to do it. Hmmmm, what will I do, Gym , breakfast motorcycle ride, or the other way around and throw in a bicycle ride in between or afterwards? who know, no plans no hurries or no concerns just a day free from work and restrictions.
Still think about mom on occasion, a lot to process sometimes, I hear her voice and feel her presence when I do certain things that I know made her laugh or get angry with me. When I open up the numerous picture of my granddaughters I think of my Mom, she was always so happy to see them or to see pictures of them and always made her smile...always!!!!!I haven't cried with my mom for a while now and when it comes it really comes, I catch myself thinking why am I crying, I'm not crying for her, I'm crying for me and how selfish is that? She doesn't want me to cry, she wants to be let go and let to spread her wings from pains and aches and distress that her body let her down and she was good with it all. so strong and so proud of her kids and grandkids that they have all forged their own place in this world. The gifts of love are all around and never take a day off, we were and are blessed with eternal love and happiness that our mother taught us to embrace. We hold on tight to many things for the wrong reasons at time, this goodness that we hold onto is a lifelong journey that will never be let go. I am thankful for what I have in my life and all that share this goodness with me. I can look at today with gusto and look towards tomorrow with anticipation not angst. I'm a complex soul in a complex world with many simple moving parts around me. this I cannot control butI make the best of what situation will allow.
In looking around me I see so much that makes me happy, troubles me and even Stuns me at the enormity of it being so ridiculous, not for shock values' sake but the mere fact that people ,laces and things are so important to so many when they should probably be an after thought. This game of follow the leader sensationalism is at times , hilarious, sad and trivial yet it takes over most mindset. We can Facebook this ,Instagram that ,text and call them all, snapchat me and draw attention to ourselves for all the trivial reasons that society deems newsworthy and important. yet that picture of you and your Seattle based cup of coffee made to drink and satisfy is not the end all be all, does not change the world one bit, not even your own ,but maybe your view of your own self -importance in the grand scheme of things. May sound cynical but stupidity and wasted time and energy come at a price. You all give me so much entertainment and need to stop the show for intermission . Just my observation is all! And how it got from there to here I will never know???
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Motherly Strength!
A thought runs through my mind
Makes me wonder where it came from
A blur of memories cross the line
some are painful ,some are funny
I miss my Mom so much today
She promoted happiness and stood behind it
I hear the voice to bring in groceries
My childhood that never left me
Thanking mom for the lessons taught
appreciating discipline now that I'm grown
And comprehending my every day a little bit more
Losing her surely gives me perspective
This small house now seems so large
The history and stories grown in size
It's empty bedrooms tell great stories
where so much love was given freely
We miss our mom very much today
Tomorrow surely will feel the same
I hear her words and see her determination
Makes me afraid to fail her now
My siblings share what I feel
differently but still very similar
Our relationships were all so different
Yet the common denominator was Love and respect
My last thought was for God to take her away
And when he did, I wanted her back
The fickle mind tricks we make ourselves play
when we have no say in the end result
I know our purpose will be felt
Our mother taught us very well
To live full lives and "Be Nice To Everybody"
even if they aren't worthy of it all
Thank you mom for being You!
The strength, the lesson , the voice of righteousness
You gave so much of your self
now we can give it back and pay it forward
Makes me wonder where it came from
A blur of memories cross the line
some are painful ,some are funny
I miss my Mom so much today
She promoted happiness and stood behind it
I hear the voice to bring in groceries
My childhood that never left me
Thanking mom for the lessons taught
appreciating discipline now that I'm grown
And comprehending my every day a little bit more
Losing her surely gives me perspective
This small house now seems so large
The history and stories grown in size
It's empty bedrooms tell great stories
where so much love was given freely
We miss our mom very much today
Tomorrow surely will feel the same
I hear her words and see her determination
Makes me afraid to fail her now
My siblings share what I feel
differently but still very similar
Our relationships were all so different
Yet the common denominator was Love and respect
My last thought was for God to take her away
And when he did, I wanted her back
The fickle mind tricks we make ourselves play
when we have no say in the end result
I know our purpose will be felt
Our mother taught us very well
To live full lives and "Be Nice To Everybody"
even if they aren't worthy of it all
Thank you mom for being You!
The strength, the lesson , the voice of righteousness
You gave so much of your self
now we can give it back and pay it forward
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
June 19,2015 6:16 pm.
The day was a long one for sure, I left work early because I needed to be with my momma on what is now known as her last day. My sorrow and empty feeling inside made me realize that it was here and it was here now for us all to embrace as reality. As I arrived at the house I could sense the end was near and it was a feeling of multiple emotions, some were of sadness and of remorse, others were of relief and of finality to an end of pain and discomfort. As the day progressed and family and friends loomed around, we shared food and drinks and some laughs meanwhile my mother holding on to life fighting for each breath of air as we watched her chest rise and fall and repeat the process for the next 8 hours. Each of us stood vigil for a stint in her small bedroom adorned with family pictures and beanie babies! The hours grew later and we waited for My Son Brandon to arrive from work, he was done at 6 and was running a little late from a dead battery. The 6 pm alarm chimes on the family clock in the living room and does it's thing until completion. We are eating and drinking whatever we had to eat and drink and I look at the clock and it is now 6:15 pm as I see Brandon pass by as I look out to the street. one minute later at 6:16 I hear cries from the bedroom and conversations going on with my mother , she had left us and went to another world. Just then My son walks in and sees me stunned and with tears in my eyes "She's gone son" I tell him, he hugs me and we cry in each others arms for a few minutes. After the realization sets in we are all very tranquil, maybe a sense of peace has set in even amongst the sorrow and pain we gather to reflect the all of positives that just occurred, she can now soar in the Heavens, hang out with Dad and do whatever her body did not allow her to do , do it freely from here on and be at ease knowing her kids will be fine! I have such an mazing family support system from my siblings to my in-laws and my wife and kids that have given so much love throughout the entire process. Thank you To all that held our hands and gave us the needed love and attention during this very hard time in our lives, So much to say and so many thoughts still being processed as I speak. day to day they will come to fruition and be dealt with properly, God Bless you all.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Momma
When saying goodbye is not an option
Saying Hello has come and gone
I savor the moments of the days
When they will cease from existing
Memories are my words
thoughts are my sentences
A bitter sweet feeling inside
That doesn't always make much sense
I will carry this torch that eternally burns
Life's lessons and spiritual awareness
Living life by examples not words
Not passing judgment but extending a hand
Being different means opportunities
to grow and understand what life truly means
School was always in session
for the life's lessons were so well taught
As we await the passing of my mother
the sadness, gladness and often conflicting feelings
I won't say goodbye, or see you soon
But carry on the through life's lessons taught
How do you express your love
how can I say thank you Mom
how many wasted bitter years
that make so much sense today
This journey to another era
when anger and discontent was my friend
It means so much to me today
because I understand why it happened this way
Thanks again mom
for teaching me how to be a man
thank you for teaching me how to love
and allow others to love me back
God blessed us all with your love
your maternal gifts that we can now pay forward
Your work is done, now time for fun
Go rest and soothe your tired body
Saying Hello has come and gone
I savor the moments of the days
When they will cease from existing
Memories are my words
thoughts are my sentences
A bitter sweet feeling inside
That doesn't always make much sense
I will carry this torch that eternally burns
Life's lessons and spiritual awareness
Living life by examples not words
Not passing judgment but extending a hand
Being different means opportunities
to grow and understand what life truly means
School was always in session
for the life's lessons were so well taught
As we await the passing of my mother
the sadness, gladness and often conflicting feelings
I won't say goodbye, or see you soon
But carry on the through life's lessons taught
How do you express your love
how can I say thank you Mom
how many wasted bitter years
that make so much sense today
This journey to another era
when anger and discontent was my friend
It means so much to me today
because I understand why it happened this way
Thanks again mom
for teaching me how to be a man
thank you for teaching me how to love
and allow others to love me back
God blessed us all with your love
your maternal gifts that we can now pay forward
Your work is done, now time for fun
Go rest and soothe your tired body
Monday, May 4, 2015
What Ever Happened To.......?
There was a time
When I could walk out outside
And be prepared to be dazzled, amazed or even overwhelmed
but now, All I see and feel is underachievement
There was a time when you could stop a kid
Have a conversation!
"How you doing kid???"
but today a blank stare looks up from an iPhone
It used to be, that respect was not a street term
Now it keeps you alive at a stop light
there was a time when you grumbled at kids noises
Now the silence is broken by War Games on the Xbox
I can vaguely remember looking out for kids while driving
Now I look out for Adults stumbling into the streets
Whatever happened to the Baseball game sin the street
Fantasy baseball has taken it's place
Trying to make some sense of it all
I wonder how this so- called evolving world
Has taken so many steps to the rear
that history repeating itself would be an upward move
The simple minded and self absorbed
The social media whores and Pimps
Look at me , hear me , see me at all costs
It's only interesting to them because they say they are
What ever happened to personality and character
Honesty and intrigue in our make up
digital clones never walking alone
But always in style and fashion
What ever happened to men being men
Skinny jeans and fashion statements
The girls all trying to be Paris and Kim
Easy targets and no substance.
And when do the flood gates ever close
Idiocy and oversimplifications of a complex world
Should I tweet, Facebook or Snap it now
Because the world can't wait for one more stupid tweet
When I could walk out outside
And be prepared to be dazzled, amazed or even overwhelmed
but now, All I see and feel is underachievement
There was a time when you could stop a kid
Have a conversation!
"How you doing kid???"
but today a blank stare looks up from an iPhone
It used to be, that respect was not a street term
Now it keeps you alive at a stop light
there was a time when you grumbled at kids noises
Now the silence is broken by War Games on the Xbox
I can vaguely remember looking out for kids while driving
Now I look out for Adults stumbling into the streets
Whatever happened to the Baseball game sin the street
Fantasy baseball has taken it's place
Trying to make some sense of it all
I wonder how this so- called evolving world
Has taken so many steps to the rear
that history repeating itself would be an upward move
The simple minded and self absorbed
The social media whores and Pimps
Look at me , hear me , see me at all costs
It's only interesting to them because they say they are
What ever happened to personality and character
Honesty and intrigue in our make up
digital clones never walking alone
But always in style and fashion
What ever happened to men being men
Skinny jeans and fashion statements
The girls all trying to be Paris and Kim
Easy targets and no substance.
And when do the flood gates ever close
Idiocy and oversimplifications of a complex world
Should I tweet, Facebook or Snap it now
Because the world can't wait for one more stupid tweet
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
So Long Dodger Blue
As I write this I feel a sadness that takes me back to 1970, my first visit to Dodgers Paradise in the Ravine. I was 7 years old and eyes wide open and moth agape. Sitting in the reserve section on the third base side on a hot LA day. Dodgers facing the Cincinnati Reds and a double header to boot. As a mere 7 year old I was engrossed more on the game and less on the vendors of food and souvenir vendors passing each aisle for what seemed all game long. The Dodger faithful in typical huge numbers over 50 thousand fans on a hot summer's day. Both sisters, big brother and dad were all enjoying this hot day and the soda man was busy that day, my first dodger dog which at the time thought was the best hot dog on the planet, now I can't even stomach the smell of the Farmer john dog ! So I sit there and hear Vinnie on the ever-present transistor radio and his voice echoed throughout the park, each pitch called with pinpoint accuracy and the plays were portraits that if I closed my eyes I knew what the play would look like, Vinnie told me so and I believed him. I heard Vin call the play by play and the names of Lee May, Tommy Helms, Johnny Bench ,Pete Rose , Bobby Tolan to name a few. The game progressed and from that point on I was in love with Baseball.
Move to present and the state of the game is so much different than it was back when I was introduced to in 1970 and has become a slower paced self loathing, melodrama and the ME-Generation has taken it over. Money and greed are the benefactors of world class talent and making money via TV deals and sponsorship is the biggest game in town, how to market the product on the field is much more important than winning baseball games and giving fans what they deserve, want and need. Baseball is far less dependent on Fan attendance and more reliant upon TV deals and contracts that woeful companies are willing to sign. Which moves me to my sadness and the Time Warner TV deal the Dodgers signed over a year ago which does not allow 70% of the Dodger Demographics to watch on TV, blacked out games unless you carry the inferior Time Warner Cable system which not everybody can access being a territorial carrier, unlike Direct, dish and Verizon which can essentially be garnered in most regions of SoCal. So here we are with TW selling games to 30% of their potential audience and losing 70% of their potential fan base, bad business form where I sit but I don't really care, I'm willing to pony up the $5 extra to watch the dodgers on direct, but Direct and other refuse to pay that to TW for some very legitimate reason and nobody wants to become bed buddies with TW, I get that Too! So meanwhile the Dodgers are reeling in the green on an 8.2 Billion dollar 25 year deal which nets them $330 million per year whether they win or lose! The dodgers as I write this are in first place but under achieving with the highest payroll in sports and still making money on TV deal, highest attendance in the big Leagues in the # 2 market in the country and still they can't agree to work out a deal . Unless The Feds step in and make this right there will be no dodger baseball for the masses, only the unfortunate that choose TW as their Cable carrier. So here is my dilemma, I love the dodgers but feel betrayed by them and have not been to a game in 2 years and have boycotted them, even if cheering lightly on the side and reading about them I can't watch them on TV and refuse to listen on Radio for 3 inning of Vin Scully and then deal with 6 innings of Charlie Steiner and Rick Monday...Noooo thank you. So out of personal necessity and taking a stand and not giving in and changing cable to get my dodgers game son the TV , I have given this date of June 15, 2015 for them to have a TV deal in the works or at least talking about it seriously or I will burn all of my Dodgers gear and be done with them forever, the extreme betrayal of an organization to its' fans who draw the most attendance, spend the most on food and souvenirs and make them money hand over fist. I feel like millions of other Southern Californians betrayed by our Home team and loyalty has slipped their minds over the mighty dollar. Guggenheim should be ashamed of themselves, Magic Johnson should resign , he knows better than to treat LA fans who supported him as a Laker and during his sickness to give back so little to Dodger fans. Currently I get the Lakers , which is a Time Warner feed , why couldn't I switch that for the dodgers, or be able to buy that channel ala carte so to speak if I wanted to , that way people who don't want the Dodgers won't have to pay for it????? I miss the dodgers and I'm sure I will miss the Baseball but being relegated to becoming a Cubs fan is not my idea of what a 7 year old boy thought his allegiance would be now as a 52 year old man. I thought Dodgers, Rams ,Lakers ,Kings, all of the local teams . The Rams moved away and are thinking of coming back, the Lakers are bad right now but I still like them, even more so when Kobe retires and goes away, Kings Hockey has been good to LA. So TW, LA Dodgers franchise , get it all together this is fundamentally so wrong to so many loyal fans, and yes the easy answer would be for us to all subscribe to TW cable but there is a principal of being done wrong and not being forgiving as you pass on by counting money of the millions of fans who have supported you. It is a shame and I feel horrible but as a 52 year old man I have other things I can and will do to fill my time, giving in to the corporate greed won't be one of them , Sad days indeed but taking a stand. June 15 is coming quickly and a day that I dread!
Move to present and the state of the game is so much different than it was back when I was introduced to in 1970 and has become a slower paced self loathing, melodrama and the ME-Generation has taken it over. Money and greed are the benefactors of world class talent and making money via TV deals and sponsorship is the biggest game in town, how to market the product on the field is much more important than winning baseball games and giving fans what they deserve, want and need. Baseball is far less dependent on Fan attendance and more reliant upon TV deals and contracts that woeful companies are willing to sign. Which moves me to my sadness and the Time Warner TV deal the Dodgers signed over a year ago which does not allow 70% of the Dodger Demographics to watch on TV, blacked out games unless you carry the inferior Time Warner Cable system which not everybody can access being a territorial carrier, unlike Direct, dish and Verizon which can essentially be garnered in most regions of SoCal. So here we are with TW selling games to 30% of their potential audience and losing 70% of their potential fan base, bad business form where I sit but I don't really care, I'm willing to pony up the $5 extra to watch the dodgers on direct, but Direct and other refuse to pay that to TW for some very legitimate reason and nobody wants to become bed buddies with TW, I get that Too! So meanwhile the Dodgers are reeling in the green on an 8.2 Billion dollar 25 year deal which nets them $330 million per year whether they win or lose! The dodgers as I write this are in first place but under achieving with the highest payroll in sports and still making money on TV deal, highest attendance in the big Leagues in the # 2 market in the country and still they can't agree to work out a deal . Unless The Feds step in and make this right there will be no dodger baseball for the masses, only the unfortunate that choose TW as their Cable carrier. So here is my dilemma, I love the dodgers but feel betrayed by them and have not been to a game in 2 years and have boycotted them, even if cheering lightly on the side and reading about them I can't watch them on TV and refuse to listen on Radio for 3 inning of Vin Scully and then deal with 6 innings of Charlie Steiner and Rick Monday...Noooo thank you. So out of personal necessity and taking a stand and not giving in and changing cable to get my dodgers game son the TV , I have given this date of June 15, 2015 for them to have a TV deal in the works or at least talking about it seriously or I will burn all of my Dodgers gear and be done with them forever, the extreme betrayal of an organization to its' fans who draw the most attendance, spend the most on food and souvenirs and make them money hand over fist. I feel like millions of other Southern Californians betrayed by our Home team and loyalty has slipped their minds over the mighty dollar. Guggenheim should be ashamed of themselves, Magic Johnson should resign , he knows better than to treat LA fans who supported him as a Laker and during his sickness to give back so little to Dodger fans. Currently I get the Lakers , which is a Time Warner feed , why couldn't I switch that for the dodgers, or be able to buy that channel ala carte so to speak if I wanted to , that way people who don't want the Dodgers won't have to pay for it????? I miss the dodgers and I'm sure I will miss the Baseball but being relegated to becoming a Cubs fan is not my idea of what a 7 year old boy thought his allegiance would be now as a 52 year old man. I thought Dodgers, Rams ,Lakers ,Kings, all of the local teams . The Rams moved away and are thinking of coming back, the Lakers are bad right now but I still like them, even more so when Kobe retires and goes away, Kings Hockey has been good to LA. So TW, LA Dodgers franchise , get it all together this is fundamentally so wrong to so many loyal fans, and yes the easy answer would be for us to all subscribe to TW cable but there is a principal of being done wrong and not being forgiving as you pass on by counting money of the millions of fans who have supported you. It is a shame and I feel horrible but as a 52 year old man I have other things I can and will do to fill my time, giving in to the corporate greed won't be one of them , Sad days indeed but taking a stand. June 15 is coming quickly and a day that I dread!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Evolving Slowly
Ever wonder why the sun goes down
With hopes and dreams and happy thought
Realities forever abound
Waking me from my daily slumber
What becomes of a spoiled heart
To realize that I can't realize
Riches of a healthy home
The expectations rise exponentially
Who can save a wayward boat
To captain this ship is to own this ship
Irresponsibility does not desire responsibility
Because ownership has its value
Mindful of traveled roads
Maps and GPS cannot be used
Solo trips and circular drives
A trip that makes a man feel alive
Self absorption and a entitled Sponge
self loathing and writhing towards the end
See the finish line before the start
Running this race in reverse
Cannot see the scenic route
the joys and smiles of victory
Peaks and valleys are everyday life
my back pack is full of angst
As I reach into this grab bag of self doubt
I slap myself with a thundering clout
The house upon the hill I see
Is truly not the place for me
When a person watches struggle
and has few of his own
How can he ever be fully grown
Realizations' that life is not free
the fruits keep falling so easily
So I take my ladder go further up high
Where life's fruit sweetens when you appreciate
With hopes and dreams and happy thought
Realities forever abound
Waking me from my daily slumber
What becomes of a spoiled heart
To realize that I can't realize
Riches of a healthy home
The expectations rise exponentially
Who can save a wayward boat
To captain this ship is to own this ship
Irresponsibility does not desire responsibility
Because ownership has its value
Mindful of traveled roads
Maps and GPS cannot be used
Solo trips and circular drives
A trip that makes a man feel alive
Self absorption and a entitled Sponge
self loathing and writhing towards the end
See the finish line before the start
Running this race in reverse
Cannot see the scenic route
the joys and smiles of victory
Peaks and valleys are everyday life
my back pack is full of angst
As I reach into this grab bag of self doubt
I slap myself with a thundering clout
The house upon the hill I see
Is truly not the place for me
When a person watches struggle
and has few of his own
How can he ever be fully grown
Realizations' that life is not free
the fruits keep falling so easily
So I take my ladder go further up high
Where life's fruit sweetens when you appreciate
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Generation Me, My ,I
I can hardly believe what these eyes do see
I don't want to see what I can't change
Help me understand the limits that exist
Troubled and ashamed at the lack of growth
Fast food nation and drive through minds
Can't see days ahead unless its on Facebook
Look at me I'm getting coffee
My Harley Davidson won't start up
Dinner conversations a finger click away
put down your phone if you have something to say
I feel the distance from my chair next to me
Another Selfie snapped off pitifully
A rush of desperation and continually try
To understand this generation of passers by
entitlements and self loathing abound
Will common sense ever be found
I'll drink to that my diet Coke
don't look at me as if I'm the joke
Lose yourself in your every move
another selfie and you re-generate
Look at me now, its been 5 minutes
I'm still on my phone as another pretty girl walks by
You're missing the world around you click by click
you couldn't get laid if she sat on your dick
This Generation me, what can you do
It's all about me ,it's my time now
Hey old man your time is gone
Move along they're playing my song
Sing along, sing so loudly
Look at me yell did you even notice me
If you miss my show don't you worry
I video taped myself in all my glory
In 20 years when life is colder
the wasted years of acting bold
failure to look beyond your mirrors glances
where your memories are your shining hours
I don't want to see what I can't change
Help me understand the limits that exist
Troubled and ashamed at the lack of growth
Fast food nation and drive through minds
Can't see days ahead unless its on Facebook
Look at me I'm getting coffee
My Harley Davidson won't start up
Dinner conversations a finger click away
put down your phone if you have something to say
I feel the distance from my chair next to me
Another Selfie snapped off pitifully
A rush of desperation and continually try
To understand this generation of passers by
entitlements and self loathing abound
Will common sense ever be found
I'll drink to that my diet Coke
don't look at me as if I'm the joke
Lose yourself in your every move
another selfie and you re-generate
Look at me now, its been 5 minutes
I'm still on my phone as another pretty girl walks by
You're missing the world around you click by click
you couldn't get laid if she sat on your dick
This Generation me, what can you do
It's all about me ,it's my time now
Hey old man your time is gone
Move along they're playing my song
Sing along, sing so loudly
Look at me yell did you even notice me
If you miss my show don't you worry
I video taped myself in all my glory
In 20 years when life is colder
the wasted years of acting bold
failure to look beyond your mirrors glances
where your memories are your shining hours
Monday, February 2, 2015
Feeling It!
I have for some reason put down my reading books and picked up my pen once again. Feeling pretty good about the way life is running it's course and have no complaints about the days behind me or the upcoming that await me. Been really fixated on the narcissistic side of the house , reading a few books on that subject, the latest being "Generation Me" by Jean Twenge, which is really amazing, her second book that I have read on this subject, not to mention 3 others by various authors. A really interesting subject that explains the new generation of people born in the early 80's. I live with it , I work with it and it is a phenomenon that is a head scratcher for sure and somehow comical and sad at the same time. SO beyond all of that I feel really glad to be back on the bike again , the Busa is a beast and so much fun in a different sort of way, bigger, heavier and faster somehow than I have ever ridden before but a connection of control and sheer speed and power unrivaled by anything I have ever ridden before. So here I am writing a bit more and feeling a bit more controversial and a pot stirring fool of sorts. Getting back to this forum feels like home again, not sure why I stopped but nearly a year went by with no additions to the Blog. I still feel very blessed and really fortunate to be Where I am , with an amazing support group of wife and family, kids and a the few friends that will have me, actually that I will choose to have , love my little box with big happiness inside to make everyday a holiday and Christmas at the same time. good times and Good Living!
Clarity
What happens when you seek out truths
And find more than you wanted to?
Reading , writing and open eyed wonderment
Give me more than I bargained for!
A YouTube documentary here, or an editorial there
more information and deductions of what is written
And the deeper meanings in between the lines.
I see too much, I hear too much and I worry too much
about all that I absorb in life.
I can't stop a runaway train
I won't stop feeling your pains
But I do know that I fear the end,
and the unhappy stories to be told.
Feeling the outside pressures and complexities
Faraway world of life's simplicities ,yet I can sense the days ends
come sooner than before
and I see an unwavering persona flapping in the wind
torn and tattered like an old flag put out over and over again
Take it down and start anew, let it rest, let it all go
Alter ego not withstanding, Move ahead and do what you do
The Candy bar dangling in my face I eat it
The mountain roads sweeping dangers,I attack them
And the day will come when a growth and understanding bigger than I
Will take me to real clarity
Where I won't try to figure it all out
Just let the days come and go
Enjoy the sunrise for what it is
a beginning to another opportunity
to enjoy the blessings
instead of thinking myself into a migraine
Tossing that pastry aside
My vices pile up at the front door
As I plow on through ,or step aside
I reach an understanding of calm
realizing my pile is always smaller than next door
Everywhere I look I see despair , hatred and wanting
For everything people don't have they want,
everything they need they fall over
and the sense of entitlement clouds the minds to narrow mindedness
I can see the light
It shines just right
not too blinding nor too dim
It shows me what I need to see
I can see clearly now
Because Johnny Nash just told me so
Thank you Mom , thank you Honey and thank you Johnny
Life is a riot when you don't give a shit about
Shit that doesn't matter
And find more than you wanted to?
Reading , writing and open eyed wonderment
Give me more than I bargained for!
A YouTube documentary here, or an editorial there
more information and deductions of what is written
And the deeper meanings in between the lines.
I see too much, I hear too much and I worry too much
about all that I absorb in life.
I can't stop a runaway train
I won't stop feeling your pains
But I do know that I fear the end,
and the unhappy stories to be told.
Feeling the outside pressures and complexities
Faraway world of life's simplicities ,yet I can sense the days ends
come sooner than before
and I see an unwavering persona flapping in the wind
torn and tattered like an old flag put out over and over again
Take it down and start anew, let it rest, let it all go
Alter ego not withstanding, Move ahead and do what you do
The Candy bar dangling in my face I eat it
The mountain roads sweeping dangers,I attack them
And the day will come when a growth and understanding bigger than I
Will take me to real clarity
Where I won't try to figure it all out
Just let the days come and go
Enjoy the sunrise for what it is
a beginning to another opportunity
to enjoy the blessings
instead of thinking myself into a migraine
Tossing that pastry aside
My vices pile up at the front door
As I plow on through ,or step aside
I reach an understanding of calm
realizing my pile is always smaller than next door
Everywhere I look I see despair , hatred and wanting
For everything people don't have they want,
everything they need they fall over
and the sense of entitlement clouds the minds to narrow mindedness
I can see the light
It shines just right
not too blinding nor too dim
It shows me what I need to see
I can see clearly now
Because Johnny Nash just told me so
Thank you Mom , thank you Honey and thank you Johnny
Life is a riot when you don't give a shit about
Shit that doesn't matter
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Depths of Thought
I jump into a river of ebb and flow
Place's I've been and things I know
I look on back a feel the pain
Should I pass this road Again?
I felt a loss and a certain hurt
A lapse in judgment and into the dirt
Abruptly shortened a lively day
Convalescence and a 12 day stay
I felt the hurt and dismay
danger of a man's child play
Back in the saddle for one last try
A passion met before time passes by
emphasizing on life's grand Scheme
Joy and happiness are not always what they seem
Living life before it fades
Much too precious to pull down the shades
Place's I've been and things I know
I look on back a feel the pain
Should I pass this road Again?
I felt a loss and a certain hurt
A lapse in judgment and into the dirt
Abruptly shortened a lively day
Convalescence and a 12 day stay
I felt the hurt and dismay
danger of a man's child play
Back in the saddle for one last try
A passion met before time passes by
emphasizing on life's grand Scheme
Joy and happiness are not always what they seem
Living life before it fades
Much too precious to pull down the shades
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Time To Write
Like visiting an old friend and not missing a beat, I come back to this domain and ask myself , Why so long since I have written anything ? Things are what they should be, as usual wonderfully well and living the dream of drama free existence. I plan on writing more and more in the coming days, not here but in a private area where my thoughts and world are my own, i can and will be greedy and keep my thoughts and non PC ways to myself, more so in a poetic way which is my favorite way to write and express in a very succinct way the ins and outs of the feared mind of the Gregasaurus!
Briefly, all that I do and all that I love and enjoy, I continue to do so even better than before , the world around us is a bad place to be so the world where I live and breathe is even smaller than before. Family and few friends are where they need to be and all else that doesn't matter is where it needs to be as well. I look forward to continue reading more and writing even more than that in the coming days , months to fill the one void I feel that i need to fill. The creative voids of expression are sorely missed and I do need to do this for self-preservations sake and therapeutic goodness.
Briefly, all that I do and all that I love and enjoy, I continue to do so even better than before , the world around us is a bad place to be so the world where I live and breathe is even smaller than before. Family and few friends are where they need to be and all else that doesn't matter is where it needs to be as well. I look forward to continue reading more and writing even more than that in the coming days , months to fill the one void I feel that i need to fill. The creative voids of expression are sorely missed and I do need to do this for self-preservations sake and therapeutic goodness.
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