Feeling It!

I have for some reason put down my reading books and picked up my pen once again. Feeling pretty good about the way life is running it's course and have no complaints about the days behind me or the upcoming that await me. Been really fixated on the narcissistic side of the house , reading a few books on that subject, the latest being "Generation Me" by Jean Twenge, which is really amazing, her second book that I have read on this subject, not to mention 3 others by various authors.  A really interesting subject that explains the new generation of people born in the early 80's. I live with it , I work with it and it is a phenomenon that is a head scratcher for sure and somehow comical  and sad at the same time. SO beyond all of that I feel really glad to be back on the bike again , the Busa is a beast and so much fun in a different sort of way, bigger, heavier and faster somehow than I have ever ridden before but a connection of control and sheer speed and power unrivaled by anything I have ever ridden before. So here I am writing a bit more and feeling a bit more controversial and a pot stirring fool of sorts.  Getting back to this forum feels like home again, not sure why I stopped but nearly a year went by with no additions to the Blog. I still feel very blessed and really fortunate to be Where I am , with an amazing support group of wife and family, kids and a the few friends that will have me, actually that I will choose to have , love my little box with big happiness inside to make everyday a holiday and Christmas at the same time. good times and Good Living!

Clarity

What happens when you seek out truths
And find more than you wanted to?
Reading , writing and open eyed wonderment
Give me more than I bargained for!
A YouTube documentary here, or an editorial there
more information and deductions of what is written
And the deeper meanings in between the lines.
I see too much, I hear too much and I worry too much
about all that I absorb in life.
I can't stop a runaway train
I won't stop feeling your pains
But I do know that I fear the end,
and the unhappy stories to be told.

Feeling the outside pressures and complexities
Faraway world of life's simplicities ,yet I can sense the days ends
come sooner than before
and I see an unwavering persona flapping in the wind
torn and tattered like an old flag put out over and over again
Take it down and start anew, let it rest, let it all go
Alter ego not withstanding, Move ahead and do what you do
The Candy bar dangling in my face I eat it
The mountain roads sweeping dangers,I attack them
And the day will come when a growth and understanding bigger than I
Will take me to real clarity
Where I won't try to figure it all out
Just let the days come and go
Enjoy the sunrise for what it is
a beginning to another opportunity
to enjoy the blessings
instead of thinking myself into a migraine

Tossing that pastry aside
My vices pile up at the front door
As I plow on through ,or step aside
I reach an understanding of calm
realizing my pile is always smaller than next door
Everywhere I look I see despair , hatred and wanting
For everything people don't have they want,
everything they need they fall over
and the sense of entitlement clouds the minds to narrow mindedness
I can see the light
It shines just right
not too blinding nor too dim
It shows me what I need to see
I can see clearly now
Because Johnny Nash just told me so
Thank you Mom , thank you Honey and thank you Johnny
Life is a riot when you don't give a shit about
Shit that doesn't matter

Depths of Thought

I jump into a river of ebb and flow
Place's I've been and things I know
I look on back a feel the pain
Should I pass this road Again?

I felt a loss and a certain hurt
A lapse in judgment and into the dirt
Abruptly shortened a lively day
Convalescence and a 12 day stay 

I felt the hurt and dismay
danger of a man's child play
Back in the saddle for one last try
A passion met before time passes by

emphasizing on life's grand Scheme
Joy and happiness are not always what they seem
Living life before it fades
Much too precious to pull down the shades

Time To Write

Like visiting an old friend and not missing a beat, I come back to this domain and ask myself , Why so long since I have written anything ? Things are what they should be, as usual wonderfully well and living the dream of drama free existence.  I plan on writing more and more in the coming days, not here but in a private area where my thoughts and world are my own, i can and will be greedy and keep my thoughts and non PC ways to myself, more so in a poetic way which is my favorite way to write and express in a very succinct way the ins and outs of the feared mind of the Gregasaurus!

Briefly, all that I do and all that I love and enjoy,  I continue to do so even better than before , the world around us is a bad place to be so the world where I live and breathe is even smaller than before. Family and few friends are where they need to be and all else that doesn't matter is where it needs to be as well. I look forward to continue reading more and writing even more than that in the coming days , months to fill the one void I feel that i need to fill. The creative voids of expression are sorely missed and I do need to do this for self-preservations sake and therapeutic goodness.

Impatient Intolerance!

I'm running out of answers
for the questions yet asked
I have no tolerance or patience
for even a simple task

I runaway to this page
to escape the worldy vibe
So brave yet so foolish
And ashamed that i have to hide

A husband and father
A grandfather as well
issues all around this tree
Should be heaven, but feels like Hell

Stuck on Stupid stuck on stupid stuck on stupid
A blow to set it free
a vacancy in a trailer park
Christmas morning all over again

Simplicity versus complexity
I try not to choose
the choice is made ,I've made the grade
I have too much to lose

Why am i so judgemental
and so hard on the rest
I've raised the bar,or try too hard
and they keep failing the test

Is is youthful ignorance
Social indifference
maniacle intolerance
to this fast food drive thru world

when in doubt, i write
When i shout I don't hear
When i listen I learn
When i learn I grow
`

Run To This Page!

Seems so odd to me to think, the one place I run and hide, or run and cry is here, the daily toils of life ,family and work all come to fruition  here for some reason. During the days of normal conversations with my wife, my coworkers or my boys I always have that meter running in my head, when does the thik tank become to full to operate as normal and be good for the next conversation that will come up? The tank is full today and I unleash my fury upon this page this morning! So here i am a day or so away from a disturbing phone call from my boy Ty in Kuwait, a very sad broken down, scared 20 year old voice of his proclaiming he is on alert for the Syrian crisis that is current to our world and in a tearful voice, says his premature Goodbyes to me! I say Son, thats not necessary, you have a job to do and you will do it, with a positive demaeanor and a can do attitide you will use your training and get back to where you belong...home with your daughter and wife...soon enough! Well that voice of his echoed in my brain for a day or so and here I am today writing about how it bothers me still to think that he feels alone and vulnerable and is truly earning his money today, his new home and his new truck are coming at a price today  and he is too young to realize that nothing comes for free, to include the freedoms that we as Americans are blessed with. So I finisged up with Ty and told him that we are proud of him and all that he has accomplished in his young life and should God take him away from us then that is a plan that we can never over ride and that your baby will always kw who you are and what you were about! The mere fact that being a parent never goes away , it never stops or takes vacations it can come in the misddle of the night or like last night a 1:38 am phone call missed to the evenings sleep.  My thoughts go out to all of the families that are feeling the pinch right now with their loved ones possibly going to battle, or the future battle that will ensue because of this one. Today being 9-11-13 brings about a heightened sense of vulnerability. moreso since George W. not terrorost brought down the planes and buildings and sold it to justify their own wars that followed. money making machines of contracted work and Halliburtons abounding we are the puppets of their strings and can do nothing about them, they are too many to vote out, the minions are all over ,right and left special interest politics are the rules of the day pasyt and present..see JFK, Pearl Harbor,9-11 and the next created atrocity that our Govt. tries to package as reality.

So with all of the weirdness, with all of the uncertainty in the world today I can only hope that my tank is emtied so that i can make room for another thought, another dream and another conversation that doesn't overwhelm my thought process. Here I sit coming to my wailing wall of thoughts and personal issues that essentially are life and daily occurences but being the life police that i have taken on for myself, I listen , i hear I try to help even if at the risk of filling up the tolerance tanks of my mind in the process I over load and burden myself at times and can only hope to self govern a bit better these days and put into perspective the idea that I can't change the world or even make a dent in the can, i can n't reconstruct the broken towers of life skills and understanding, i can't always hear the words and act upon with proper behavior or advise..for i am as flawed as the next guy and have nowhere to run, and no place to hide so i climb atop the The Saurus express and spew my spirits and unload my dirty laundry in the hopes of finding a clearer path the the impending uncertainties! Good Days, Good times and Good Luck!  

Furlough!

Today is the third non pay furlough day that the feds have imposed us us federal workers, I don't mind paying my taxes or even not getting cost of living increases for the past 5 years, I do mind that not one politician or supposed peoples servants are not missing out on a days pay and have  received self imposed cost of living increases across the board. This may explain why I have never registered to vote or care to for that matter, the privilege is no longer that ,its an albatross across the necks of taxpayers who are burdened with corruption and deceit and must take the blame for this  as they put these assholes in office and are as accountable for them as they are their own kids...fuck the system and those who say non voters have no say, well believe that if you may but I can honestly say I had nothing to do with this. Oh and if I hear but your vote can change this...REALLY!!!!  It s the perception that makes us believe we can make a difference, with a government that had Pearl Harbor, 9-11 and the JFK assassination under their belts of corruption and can convince me that a congressman or even the President shouldn't be held accountable as the people who voted them in...Really???? I don't trust and thankfully this furlough doesn't cripple my household as it has done to many thousands of federal workers, yeah the house and senate want to save the millionaires from paying their taxes and allows over seas accounts to launder that money for tax purposes yet we, johnny lunch pale middle class are asked to foot the fucking bill by paying28-32% taxes while Warren Buffet and Trump Cock sucker pay 15%  yeah real equity there ball washers! Warren Buffet even went on record as saying he is all for higher taxes on the rich, it ain't going to kill the the rich, but greed and special interests win out as always and that's what we are supposed to accept as an OK thing... Fuck the people who think this is acceptable and Republicans and Democrats look out ,a third more progressive party is on the way trust me, people might actually get it right, the Republicans can put down their bibles and their anti abortion cries and the Dems can stop giving shit away and saving all mankind . Ok ,I totally done with this Rant thing and off to the movies to settle down.Can Rev it up later with a mach 2 moto ride ...jk So off today helping to pay off another Govt Halliburtenesque contractor.Good Times!