I Miss

 I miss the morning noises

I hear our puppy getting ready for his day

His tiny paws running out to play

I miss the warmth of a loving heart

I miss the anticipation of her arrival

I do miss my journey home to the happy place

I try to relate to all thats lost

I miss being Mr. Duran

I miss the long drives

I take these drives solo now

I do miss the great conversations

Singing and swaying to the music

I miss the thoughts of love

The feelings of being loved

I miss saying I love you

I created my own demise

I miss being cared for

I miss being adored and loved so much

I've missed out on so many things

I get my love from foreign places

I miss being the funny man

Getting you to laugh was never easy

You wouldn't give me the satisfaction

So I laughed at myself instead

I miss my kids so much

I miss the warmth of that big hug and kiss

I know I'll never get that feeling back

Just an afterthought of a man's mistakes

I've terrorized myself for being me

I don't miss the constant ass whipping

Self-inflicted pains from missing so much

I miss my Ms. Duran

I am missing out on her best life

Because I'm the reason she now lives it

Free of headaches and worry

She won't feel my pains its not her responsibility

I miss the levels of love I was adorned with

I miss the love I returned in kind

I miss my cupcake I didn't bake

My misbehaving I could not shake

I'm not happy and I'm not sad

I've lived my best life already

I missed out on so much more

I have to accept that living my fun life will suffice

I miss being the focal point of your day

Some days you are still mine to keep

Mine to lose and not my choice anymore

So I miss out but do know why