Time Never Stands Still

Thinking about life and about what the world has become and where the future of the country will lead us? With each day brings a new victory and tragedy, reading the paper and watching the news brings only a snap shot of what is really going on in our world. Most recently Boston, next? who knows what terror will rain down upon some unsuspecting soul who tries to go about their business and walks into a timebomb off uncertainty. So sad yet so true to live this way and fear what is around the corner, human nature has become naturally mean spirited and self serving agendas of right wing christianity of forcing their dominion and judgemental ways upon the Gay, the Foreigner and anybody who doesn't feel excactly the way that they do about lifes issues. Living through this political mess of right versus left and nobody workig together to help solve the issues at hand. Stuck in a revolutionary mindset of fear of people taking away our guns and taking away our rights, we are doing that all by ourselves and not being responisble for the freedoms that we as Americans possess. Yet we trudge along in the hopes to make a difference one day at a time and loom beyond the narrow minded judgement afflicted fools who want a carbon copy of themselves everyhwere in order to be happy. I tire at societies lack of ownership of their lives, looking for free reign to blame and point eh fingers, society has deemed this as normal behavior and the slackers carry on the torch their lack of accountability and pride in their lives. You can be rich and be a poor excuse for a human being , and yet be poor and be rich with love and understanding of what life is all about.

Time does not stand still  and will carry on with or without us, each day passing takes away an opportunity to do something, to make a difference and to love and be loved, tired of all of the world negativity i have made my world very very small and meaningful. My love Terria and I have reached that point of understanding what is important in life, not the trips or the new cars and motorcycles, the at times frivilous way of living, no we understand what love and caring is all about, to love and to hear and listen,to care and to nurture, to be there when we don't always feel our best. Life is now about that small square we live in family, granddaughter and every day is a holiday whatever we are doing. We have been blessed with Aubrey, the baby is over her first birthday and on her way to her second  and in anew state with mommy and daddy and living the dream of a military family and fighting the fight for their everyday. Being told that our other boy will be making us grandparents make us smile and gives us another precious thing to love and adore and to teach and love unconditionally as we do Aubrey and each other. Yes time  changes and we learn something new everyday and enjoy whatever it has to bring, resilience and understanding that there are no unhittable curveballs in this life but stress and bad health. so we forge onward  in making everything better and leave our world open to the change it is bringing us. The winds of change blow heavily today and the world is not always a  good place to be yet in spite of this mess we walk around it all and find our peace within ourselves and share that goodness with each other and look around and feel bad for the rest who choose to be bitter, angry and at odds with the world for some unknown reason. We are in a great place and don't expect to ever change that, life is great and thank God for giving us all the strength to realize what is real and what is not, to change the things that we can and let those that we can't go away. The days are moving quickly and we must do the same to keep the pace, but I must stop and smell the roses in this world because the dirt comes upon you before you realize.   

A Sad Goodbye and Plans Ahead

Tonight we will enjoy our last night with our Boy and grandaughter Aubrey, tomorrow they will be on the road to duty station #1 amongst many we assume, this particular one will  send them to colorado springs and not too far for grandma and Grandpa to take a trip once every other month to visit baby Aubs and the kids! It's been an action packed month of Baby aubrey and taking pictures and making breakfasts and dinners for our baby, shopping for shoes and clothing for the precious little girl who has made our lives so meaningful and so fulfilling to say the least. So  a sense of sadness is sinking in and we will be trying to understand that our daily dose of baby Aubrey Sue will be coming to an abrupt end, now we can skype and tango in between visits to see them in Colorado.

As for Terria and I, the body ages on a daily basis, her knee again and my sciatica and lower back issues that will both require surgeries to alleviate the pains and discomfort that we both go through on a daily basis.  Age and constant use have taken their toll but a trip to my orthopedic this morning has made it more real for me to get this thing done, another visit tpo the operating surgeon will help me decide when  this procedure will be done, sooner than later and will have to wait at least until after we go visit Braz in Hawaii for his knee surgery the end of April, not my idea of fun doing Hawaii but supporting my boy with Terria for his bout with surgery, and yes i must e the only guy to bitch about a trip to Hawaii but not my thing, to me paradise is SoCal and motorcycle rides and track  days and living in the sun 340 days out of the year without the touristy hustle and bustle of the Asian invasion and the outward hurried pushiness that will ensue. I will tour Pearl Harbor and eat some fresh seafood, but a mere 5 days will be more than enough to support the boy and kiss him goodbye and head back to my idea of paradise with Terria in tow to get back to normalcy of work, school, gym,play hard and get healthier every single day.

Things are actually progressing as they should these days, the back and body issues are all fixable and will be done, the bike is running amazing right now, the new shocks and springs are halping me to get back to and beyond where I was a  few years ago and Brandon and I are planning a track day to let it rip and give it hell in a safer environment where if u crash you generally don't die, just slide awhile and a leather suit absorbs all of that drama instead f a guardrail or oncoming vehicle. Brandon is working on getting is bike track ready, mine is ready now and cannot wait to take it to the place wher eit was designed to safely go hard and fast. My new GoPro camera will capture the videos and allow me to watch and learn and get faster in between each session. so this I am really looking forward to and will try to get that done before the weather starts to warm up to unbearable temperatures. The tracks being in hot places like ?rosemond outside of Lancaster then there is buttonwillow near Bakersfield and the othe rone is Chuckwalla near Palm springs ,so doing it before the motnh of June might be best I would say!!!!! Other than that we will keep our heads on a swivel and our lives to the grinder and keep plugging away and live each day happier then the next

What's it All About?

I question so much, so many!
never have an answer or nary a clue
I get so excited when i get so close
yet the realities of living,throw me off course
My confusion, my dilussions  my ever changing conclusions
So i ask again, How ,what and Why ?

What's it all about?
Time cards, coffee break
Long drives for lunch
A ride to the gym for a swim
I love you and miss you
I need to make love to you?
can't wait to cook for you
As long as it's before 7 pm.

Is it about working, playing
loving, living, dying
trying to not die before our time
Don't want to miss a thing
coulda woulda shoulda will never be!

Is is the trivial bullshit, the complaints on deaf ears
The teaching to the deaf and dumb
societies dead  sea of youthful ignorance
never growing , never rising
above the stages of infantile retardation
mental midgetry, our future sucks!

So whats it all about again
The bank book,tax check,feed the dogs
shopping trips, online purchases and ebay at my touch
Work so hard to work so little
bringing home the bacon and actually cooking it well!
Pleasures and pains of reality ,i like pain
but i prefer more pleasure!
So you pleasure me, or I'll pleasure myself
with or without you, I like pleasure

Sleeping with the Television on
a diversion or aspersion
What do i try to run from,or run towards
tomorrows coming and i can't wait, yet i miss yeterdays lesson
So i teach and learn at the same time

My baby cries, my heart cries louder
my frustrations and pains i wear on my sleeve
My outward taunts of lessons learned
I bite my tongue while swallowing my words
my boys , my girls are confusing me so
I reach out to a fistful of air
i care too much and have no power
my powers within are useless to everybody but myself
my biggest fan is truly myself
My soapbox crumbled at my feet.

so what is truly all about
A Baseball game, a motorcycle ride?
love in my heart and in my home
a mortgage payment and an insurance agent
world class customer service
or the nasty receptionist who hates her life!

Sorting it all out I ponder the outcomes
of politics and people lives that don't seem to matter
Sequester this and fuck you too
The votes are in and nobody cares.
what's tomorrows value forecast
abysmal,dysmal,cloudy and 72 degrees.

Overthinking ,patience shrinking
wonder when it all comes to light
Happiness does not love company
so my chosen few We bundle tight.
The realization of my tied hands
make me angry yet I agree
To walk the walk ,talk the talk
And toe the line in the wake of happiness.

Congrats Son!

A special congratulatory salute to our newest soldier Ty who was decorated as an honor Grad in AIT  School at Fort Lee Va.

Humdrum Humpday

As I sit here at work tapping on the keys to nowhere, i await the final bell that sends me homeward. today for some reason has been less than stellar and for no apparent reason it just has been one of those humdrum days with no beginning or no end...just a day.  As i left for work today i grab my keys , my wallet , my phone, all adfter taking my morning meds and a big swig of el rio Tap waters' finest brew. I hea dout the door turn the truck key over and blow myself out of the water with my ipod  and stereo in the high on position, I scurry to turn it off, rub my eyes and then try to find the volume to try to salvage a few years of oratory pleasure still left in my life. Driving to work i check my wallet to ensure myself that i didn't leave my work access badge in my computer yet again..I check and its there, i drive on another mile or two and realize that my lunch was not one of the things I grabbed after the keys , the wallet and the phone. That 3 item sequence that throws me off ewverytime i vary from it in the least bit, yesterday it was the wallet,keys,phone  thus forgetting the Adam Carolla book I'm trying to finish so that i can read his next book. This goddamn sequence of habit that plagues me, on days when i take cookies in or a cake or whatever it is i concoct for the co workers i will always have to stop and do the damn s equence in my head,so anything more than the big 3 items usualy get left behind. So todays victim was my lunch and my appetite, the great pork slow raosted peel apart ,amazing roast that terria made for dinner last night that I was so much lookig forward to is now in the dark cold  waiting to be devoured for dinner! So thats how the day got started with a clusterfuckian attempt to try to get the days started right i did not nail the dismount i call getting ready for work, was ever 10 minutes late to boot but thats another irresponsibility I can tackle at another time.Well i'm here and thats all that matters but leaving my sick wife home with an aching gutteral region i feel bad and asked myself should I stay home and take  care of her? i opted for the clusterfuckian method and here i am.

So, here in the afternoon at work no more or no less going on since the morning session of nothingness but the time clock going slower each minute as it appears to me. I was jusy looking back on this past weekend ride and flat tire as i careened through the canyons at a very brisk pace...ok fast pace and feel an unfamiliar unsettling feeling on the bike, try to make the last turn and the bike doesnt want to lean over ,so i make it lean over get on the gas and the bike pogos at about 85 mph which tells me i have a tire loosing air and i need to stop this damn this now! I end up slowing it down bfore i really stomp on the binders to stop, walked it to the safest side of the road about 200 yards away and breath a sigh of relief. i stop, called the wife, no signal so i text the wife and she then dispenses our oldest boy to drive the 35 miles to where i am, load me up and bring us both home . Went to the motorcycle shop to et a new tire brought the old tire and rim in the shop, bought the tire and 10 minutes later i wa sheaded home to a new wheel tire combo and feeling good agai about the day, My boy installed it while i went back to work and that was that, treated him to lunch for his troubles and look forward to  changing my oil on the bike and then scrubbing in the new rear tire on a ride somewhere soon. Down to the last hour and feeling the clock somewhat speed up in the past hour or so, trying to get out of here , go to the gym, then head home to tend to my ailing wife and make her feel better quickly.

I'm not writing as much lately and have no rational for not doing so, i have aload of things to talk about , some rants andraves but not as vocal as i used to be, will tweet my 140 characters instead and give people the benefit of the Readers Digest Version of the gregasaurian rant and not overwhelm with my verbose opinionated nature,i honest don't care but maybe it takes too much energy to try to make a point anymore and nobody really cares about anything real or poingnant these days , they all live in a fast food world and a reality show fantasy to believe what they are told and the  Republicans continue to be racist hate mongers and blah blah blah! So i'm headed to the gym in a bit, going to do a great pool workout, say hey to my buds at the gym ansd head home to hang out with the coolest woman I know!!!!!! Good times

This is Joy

50 Today! Happy Birthday To me

Today is a very special day for me, not only because it's my birthday or even because it's my 50th birthday, but because I never in my wildest dreams thought I would reach this day in the grand scheme of things. Being a free spirit and do whatever I want kind of person i have always treaded on thin ice with my bad decisions, hobbies which put me in harms way and a life style of promiscuity which has thankfully has not bitten me in the Ass and allowed me to walk away from that unscathed. to be young and dumb and make bad decisions is one thing, but as a  50 year old still rising motorcycles fast knowing trouble could always be around the next corner, so maybe not fully grown up, or not afraid to die.?

I have truly been blessed with a great family, great wife and kids and a support system that people only dream of!  Yes life at 50 is no different for me than anytime in my life, always trying to live a good life wit things and stuff and all that other meaningless stuff that we at times give a shit about, well since growing up in my early 30's i have come to relaize that the only constants in my life are my family and my belief in God, everything else truly doesn't matter at the end of the mirrors reflection I see what i truly know is important!

As i said today marks a new day for me a rebirth in a sense to move forward froma place that I never thoyght I would get to, but now that I'm here I'm essentially playing with house moey and feel like i need to make an effort to make this life count and make a difference to those in my life that matter so much! As per usual I don't ever tend to make a fuss about myself or my birthdays just tend to assume the position of I'm better than that and let the day proceed as usual. Well today is here and no fanfare at work, thank you! no fanfare at homee as well, the congratulatory texts and emails have come in and very nice to be remembered in a low key sort of way and thats all I ever ask for, thankfully this year people have heard my wishes for tranquility , no party, no celebrations just a quiet dinner with my wife Terria and thats the way it will be.

I can hear my old therapist Michael asking me,"Greg, why don't you want a party for your birthday"? do you not feel worthy again of any sort of accolades directed at you? I still say no and for my own reasons don't ever treat this day any different, thats just me , most of my coworkers celebrate and take the day off and thats cool for them but not my style at all. I am who i am and different than most, that truly makes me feel special for the mere fact that I'm different and that I'm true to my own beliefs with as little fanfare and screaming as possible. so as it turns out, i'm happy to be where I am and truly blessed to live the life I have lived to date, I will celebrate today like i do every other day, with much appreciation and hope that the next day will be as peaceful as today. Thanks to all of my family, few friends and everybody who loves me and that i love back...Good Times and Blessed Days!!!!!