I can talk about how fortunate I am these days but it seems to be redundant and rather boorish, so I won't ,i will figure another avenue of interest and go with that for now. Dreams seem to speak volumes to me, for some reason I dream a little these days about things and people that are somewhat insignificant in my life but somehow pop up and seem to be in my dreams. Coworkers and distant friend, people I run into at the gym and old high school folks, whatever it is they seem to be there. Maybe the mind working overtime or not working enough, whatever the case may be the cases of Deja Vu have been re-occurring over and over and it seems like I've been here , or done that before. When my clutch heated up and we pulled over at the side of the road at Dodgers Stadium Saturday night, i had been there before and dreamed of a similar occurrence weeks earlier, allot of that kind of thing going on with me these days. I will manage and figure it out, maybe a trip to Michael to revisit the dream phenomena, could be something, might not be!
As for the rest of my being, we have Baby Aubrey and Mandy staying with us for a bit and wait and see what happens with Ty the tornado and his never ending bout with anger management...good luck with that right !!!! We do love having the baby home and we get to love and adore her the way she needs to be loved, so innocent and thrown into this tumultuous world, no less the drama from her parents which we will never truly understand, it's a nightmare being relived for Terria and she had already been there with this type of treatment from Ty's father, so the falling apple and the tree thing applies here and coupled with the Narcissism that has invaded his soul it's even more difficult, being that nothing he does will ever be his doing or accountability is out the window, so bad, but Aubrey is stuck in this whirlwind and we have to sit back and let it happen....For Now! Just waiting for the day when i call that kid out and tap his ass out because he wants to be the tough guy and mistreat his wife and child! Wait and See I suppose?
On the happy front we are all doing well in our camp, the life we wanted is now in place , we love , we travel and do things that middle aged people are supposed to do. I'm not waiting until I am retired to start doing these things, I want to do things when I am young and vibrant and can get around and do the things that younger people do now! We have more plans on the horizon of places and people and fun things for us, we've raised our kids and it's our time to spend our time and efforts on us. The spontaneous trip to Portland was a series of things we have planned for the year. We have a trip to Salt Lake City for Superbike racing the end of May, the mid June we are celebrating our 11ty anniversary in San Diego to watch Terrias Josh Hamilton and the Rangers play the Padres. We know we will be in Dallas and later Ft Sill OK. going to Ty's graduation from Basic training but will fly into Dallas and tour that city before and after we hit OK. I have always wanted to visit Dealey Plaza , the spot where JFK was assassinated and the outlying areas of the greater Dallas area, next trip we explore Austin Texas and all that it has to offer, which from what I hear I is a LOT! So I reneged on "Being Fortunate " Spiel of my and shared a bit of whats going on beside the drama and trauma of young and dumb kids that we call our own. Hey , this hot off the presses, Brandon broke up with his Girlfriend and for this I commend him, we both really didn't care for her too much and questioned why he would be with such a negative and boring girl who was so needy. but whatever the case may be Brandon is better alone and working on himself and getting through school and starting his life and other facets of his being. for now the goodness continues and I don't plan on slowing down the trail of happiness and sharing with my wonderful Terria as long as we have days to do so
Monday, April 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Simply Horrible
Rainy days and stupidity always get me down
A simple task of driving
complicated by somebody's inability to do it right
So I'll swerve away and hit the brakes and know I've dodged an idiot
The Sunshine glares into my eyes path
I squint and peak and see the pages
The signs and the books go unread and not comprehended
This simple world, simply mindless.
Frightened at the futures outlook
where will the brains come from
where and by whom will the issues be solved?
A black sea of texts and laptop signals stream aimlessly in the dark
Yeah I'm disgusted at what we have become
Even moreso and what we will continue to be
The future need a recalibration that this generation cannot provide
So we watch E network and TMZ and become as Stupid as humanly possible
A simple task of driving
complicated by somebody's inability to do it right
So I'll swerve away and hit the brakes and know I've dodged an idiot
The Sunshine glares into my eyes path
I squint and peak and see the pages
The signs and the books go unread and not comprehended
This simple world, simply mindless.
Frightened at the futures outlook
where will the brains come from
where and by whom will the issues be solved?
A black sea of texts and laptop signals stream aimlessly in the dark
Yeah I'm disgusted at what we have become
Even moreso and what we will continue to be
The future need a recalibration that this generation cannot provide
So we watch E network and TMZ and become as Stupid as humanly possible
Monday, April 23, 2012
Renew
Just back from Portland and a quick turnaround trip for a Donut, a pizza pie and some really cool shopping at the Saturday waterfront shopping area. The times were spent with my Honey driving that long drive never complaining about anything just enjoyig the drive and the conversatins that ensued. After attending Brandons poetry award ceremony at the College last week It sparked an old poetry bug brewing in me, I was inspired to take a few more swings at the poems and prose of yesterday. Really enjoyed my trip north with Terria and actually missed a perfect game in Seattle , which we would have attended had it been a night game or a later start but as it turned out we were not able to get there in time for the start so we blew it off, the blazer and the AAA Beaver were not options, the Blazers out of town and the Beavers no longer call Portland their home. But the trip was a really good time and the drive was much easier than i imagined it would be, must have been the incredible company that I was in. Thanks again T for a great time and looking forward to our Salt Lake City trip at the end of May.
Been doing a fair amount of reading these days , the books keep staring at me and jumping into my hands and i just keep reading them one after another. Really enjoy the reading and writings of some of my favorite authors as well as some new writers that have caught my eye. The book have ranged from Political to spiritual awareness. I am currently reading a book about the dumbing down of todays youth and their inability to do much anything beyond facebook and video games. We as a country are in some trouble, our future hold less drive and determination with the youth of today being locked into Disinterested mode. whatever the case may be we may be fucked 20 years from now with a nation of dumbasses with no drive to do anything but play PS3 and text their lives away.
Ok, that being said i look forward to some inspirational writing and continue to read my books and hope to further educate and free my mind from old personal stereotypes and grow in areas that may have become stagnant. So I trudge through another day here at work, not in a work sense but in the listening to constant nonsensical conversations that invade this office to no end. So i wait and hope to get to the gym after work and hit it hard after 4 days off after our trip. I look forward to feeling a little tired and worn today and rush home to see My honey and baby Aubrey!!!! Yes, a very good thought indeed
Been doing a fair amount of reading these days , the books keep staring at me and jumping into my hands and i just keep reading them one after another. Really enjoy the reading and writings of some of my favorite authors as well as some new writers that have caught my eye. The book have ranged from Political to spiritual awareness. I am currently reading a book about the dumbing down of todays youth and their inability to do much anything beyond facebook and video games. We as a country are in some trouble, our future hold less drive and determination with the youth of today being locked into Disinterested mode. whatever the case may be we may be fucked 20 years from now with a nation of dumbasses with no drive to do anything but play PS3 and text their lives away.
Ok, that being said i look forward to some inspirational writing and continue to read my books and hope to further educate and free my mind from old personal stereotypes and grow in areas that may have become stagnant. So I trudge through another day here at work, not in a work sense but in the listening to constant nonsensical conversations that invade this office to no end. So i wait and hope to get to the gym after work and hit it hard after 4 days off after our trip. I look forward to feeling a little tired and worn today and rush home to see My honey and baby Aubrey!!!! Yes, a very good thought indeed
Friday, April 20, 2012
Portland Trip!!!
Upon deciding to take the trip to Portland for some world class donuts and a few other good meals we knew that the drive would be a grueling turnaround drive but we were game and ready to tackle the drive. We headed out from Santa Barbara after a great dinner with Brandon on Thursday evening about 730 pm, knowing that we had our hands and tires full of allot of road ahead. Making the trip has been a real goal of mine since my buddy Adam said that it would be worht the drve if I did it, after a bit of research and a food network plug we finally made this happen. The drive was smooth and the music anad conversations were even better, thanks to Terra for splitting the drive load with me and helping me rest while she drove, we even stopped at 430am somewhere and slept for 3 hours concluding our drive at 4pm checking into Northern Portland and really happy with the room we chose. We plotted our diner experience to start with Voodoo Donuts which was an amazing experience i itself, we then headed out for dinner and found a nice Pizzeria near the donut house and had some of the best food we have had in awhile. We drove back to the room and stopped for some drinks and ready for a Yahtzee match later on tonight. We have the Bookstore after breakfast and some cruising around for this quick trip, shopping and whatever we think looks like fun! We plan on leaving Portland and heading back to the Nard early Sunday and expect to be back in town by 9-10 pm Sunday night, a 15 hour drive and we shall be better rested this time so that we won't require a 3 hour respite to catch some winks. So far we are enjoying this spontaneous trip and will do another trip to Salt LAke City at the end of May for the motorcycle races , we enjoyed last seasons races at the very spot and this only a 12 hour drive will be a sprint compared to this Portland junket, but tthe Pacific northwest is a great place to visit, the weather sucks but we expect that when we come here and it usually cooperates with us in that department. Anyway, we are enjoying this trip and even the long drive was a nice testament to 2 people who have so much to share and talk about, some goodness, some bad times but either way communicating and enjoying the company. Thanks Terria for enabling us to grow the way we have and to share all that we can share, Missing baby Aubrey a little and look forward to seeing her on our return Home Sunday
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Plans and Wishes
Lots of great stuff going on in our lives these days, the baby came over last night and shook our world again, so much adorability(not a word I know) and cuteness it's hard to stay centered with her around. Yeah it's really a treat when the kids bring baby Aubrey by the house and share that precious bundle of love with us, got her first picture back from the photo lab and already have her planted on my desk framed for the world to see. The rest of the scenery is good as usual and not much shaking around here but a quick turnaround drive to Portland for a donut, a "Pizza and some book shopping in the city up North. Terria and I will take on the drive late Thursday evening to early Friday morning and check in about noon at the Hotel in Portland. Just an impromptu trip because we have nothing else planned and all day to do it so we figured why not? We have a dinner date with Brandon at the city college in Santa Barbara and then we head northward after that . Driving is a pleasure of mine, coupe with good music and conversation with Terria we plan on doing a nice tune up of our souls and let some fresh our in now that Braz is back from Afghanistan and Ty is back in tow we feel a sense of relief and can now breathe somewhat free in comparison to where we were a month ago waiting for our boys to be safe.
Pretty interesting new book I bought while in Santa Barbara the other day, in the bookstore I see this book staring at me bright Red letters called "The dumbest Generation" how the digital age stupefies young Americans and jeopardizes our future, by Mark Bauerlein. When I walked up to this talking book and opened it up, a half page of scrolling though it and I bought it as this book is really a testament on how I feel our youth are betraying everybody around them with their attitudes and cavalier ways of going through life with their cell phones, computers and their Facebook accounts, not thinking to read a book or pick up a newspaper or read something or do something with some substance attached to it for once. Many really nice and intricate facts in the book so far, I took a break away from the theology books for a few, too hard hitting and very dry reading at times but will get back and finish off my stack of unread books here real soon.
Really enjoyed our trip to Santa Barbara to hear and watch Brandon receive an award for a poem he had written, a very good poem that we were allowed to hear live and netted him a 200 dollar check for his efforts, very proud of his accomplishment and proud of the fact that he's trying to finish his schooling after taking a couple years off. We enjoyed the trip to Arizona for Baseball and other than myself don't know too many people who love Baseball like he and I do with the passion for the game and to be played with passion and love for the game. I watch a game so much differently than the average fan, i call pitches and make pitching changes in my mind, as a hitter will look for pitches and locations on certain counts. I watch the game and expect the game to be played the right way, with max effort, not so much perfect results but effort and preparedness. I am enjoying the Dodgers quick start but am realistic enough to now that they are at best a 500 team maybe a few games above that but not enough hitting or true pitching beyond #1 and#2, the rest is a crap shoot but think that the west will be won by the Dbacks again and the dodgers are at best a 3rd place finisher in my estimation, but they play the games to see who is best so we shall wait and see at the end who comes in where and I can't wait!
Finishing up the work day today ready for the gym and whatever we decide for a quick dinner, have laundry and prep needed for the trip after work tomorrow so its rush rush and the washer will be busy tonight, a quick bag and a couple pair of shoes and we are done and ready for the long drive to Portland Oregon for that much craved Donut! yeah a donut, throw in a Pizza and some seafood and we are set. Good Times continue to run rampant, we are enjoying life one day at a time and living each day as if to be our last, so there is no drive too far for a donut, or too much for a pair of wanted shoes, just living the dream for which there is no price tag.
Pretty interesting new book I bought while in Santa Barbara the other day, in the bookstore I see this book staring at me bright Red letters called "The dumbest Generation" how the digital age stupefies young Americans and jeopardizes our future, by Mark Bauerlein. When I walked up to this talking book and opened it up, a half page of scrolling though it and I bought it as this book is really a testament on how I feel our youth are betraying everybody around them with their attitudes and cavalier ways of going through life with their cell phones, computers and their Facebook accounts, not thinking to read a book or pick up a newspaper or read something or do something with some substance attached to it for once. Many really nice and intricate facts in the book so far, I took a break away from the theology books for a few, too hard hitting and very dry reading at times but will get back and finish off my stack of unread books here real soon.
Really enjoyed our trip to Santa Barbara to hear and watch Brandon receive an award for a poem he had written, a very good poem that we were allowed to hear live and netted him a 200 dollar check for his efforts, very proud of his accomplishment and proud of the fact that he's trying to finish his schooling after taking a couple years off. We enjoyed the trip to Arizona for Baseball and other than myself don't know too many people who love Baseball like he and I do with the passion for the game and to be played with passion and love for the game. I watch a game so much differently than the average fan, i call pitches and make pitching changes in my mind, as a hitter will look for pitches and locations on certain counts. I watch the game and expect the game to be played the right way, with max effort, not so much perfect results but effort and preparedness. I am enjoying the Dodgers quick start but am realistic enough to now that they are at best a 500 team maybe a few games above that but not enough hitting or true pitching beyond #1 and#2, the rest is a crap shoot but think that the west will be won by the Dbacks again and the dodgers are at best a 3rd place finisher in my estimation, but they play the games to see who is best so we shall wait and see at the end who comes in where and I can't wait!
Finishing up the work day today ready for the gym and whatever we decide for a quick dinner, have laundry and prep needed for the trip after work tomorrow so its rush rush and the washer will be busy tonight, a quick bag and a couple pair of shoes and we are done and ready for the long drive to Portland Oregon for that much craved Donut! yeah a donut, throw in a Pizza and some seafood and we are set. Good Times continue to run rampant, we are enjoying life one day at a time and living each day as if to be our last, so there is no drive too far for a donut, or too much for a pair of wanted shoes, just living the dream for which there is no price tag.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Dysfunction Junction, not my Function!
Here at work this morning and feeling a little inspired to write a little something about nothing at all. I truly enjoy the dynamics of the personalities here at work, the dysfunction junction as i like to call it and I sit back and interject in my minds eye how truly fucked up people are. Living my life the way I do, my mind, body and emotions always firing on full blast I wonder at times how we function as a species. The time I spend here at work helps me to realize how odd i am or maybe how truly odd the rest are, either way I love where I'm at and my rationalization and underdstanding on what makes happiness seems to differ from what the masses seem to gravitate towards. I get the wants and needs and desiring of things we want versus need, things and possessions are the root of so much of what is wrong with us as a species. Being very blessed and so very fortunate to have more than enough and happy in the search for other things to quench life's palate of things and crap and all that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of life...yet we want and seek out the things we don't need. human nature does some shitty things to us all, i find myself really wanting another motorcycle, a newer house, a new Baseball glove but things are just that...things, the truth of the matter is that I want because I want and can have because I can. In simple terms I folow along with the masses in my outward desires for things needed versus wanted and fight the fight on a daily basis, I realize and can seperate the two and do so on a daily basis with my constant flow of thinking aloud at times about things and stuff that really don't matter. Thankfully my mind and heart are substantial and plentiful in the giving aspect of what I do on a daily ritualistic basis. Trying to be good and kind and understanding of others is a point I adhere to at Nauseum sometimes but try to be the bigger person and listen to another regurgiated story of woe by coworkers and friends alike. It's all good because it is, I can't complain too much because I'm not that guy, I may bitch and moan about insignificant things but deal wit the omportant things in a kick ass manner, life is very important and i trwat it as such but with a smile and lots of laughter and sarcasm to boot. I won't be serious for too long because it drains and it's not where I wan t6to spend the majority of my time , my life and efforts to continue my happiness.
Speaking of happiness my Baby girl Aubrey is so damn Amazing and it's been 2 days since I saw her and i miss her so much, momma a dad need to bring her by real soon or I will break! Being a new Grandpa is the best thing that's happened in a long time, bringing a new life of love and perspective to our lives, Terria is an amazing grandmother as she is a wife and mother, just seems to be the perfect thing and the perfect timing for us to have this little girl come into our world. she is so much about Love and being loved and will never ever lack that from us trust me, there is a special feel and bond that we have towards her knowing that mom and dad probably won't together foirever, too young and selfish to work o their issues and hoping that this baby aubrey does not suffer the consequences of their innabilities. We stand back with guarded hearts to thik that this little baby could be out of state in a manner of moments if aother fight ensues with her parents and they break up for the 12th time. This instability worries me a bit but we will love this baby with everything we have as long as she is within arms reach and available for us to be a positive influence. So much goodness in this baby and so much potential for drama at the same time no fault of her own. But we will enjoy her every second we can, Ty going away in august to boot camp and now we have 2 in the miloitary and worries are doubled but they grow up and move away eventually and we are ok with that fact ,just being selfish and knowing our baby Aubrey will be taken away from us soon.
So I defer to Terria in this forum to help me decide on the trip to Portland for a Donut, yes Voodoo donuts in Portland is calling our name but the rational side of me says driving 960 miles one way for a donut, spending a few hours in a cool city and driving back the following day is a little mind boggling but we roll in that directin and the therapeutic effects are always worth the drive, I love to drive and converse with my Terria about our lives and things that I mentioned here earlier and just the tranquility of my company, the road ,the music and the thoughts of being spontaneous and free from stupid worries about bills and payemts and traffic and mean people, our own little world takes us away from that mess and keeps us where we are in that happy place, seemingly unreal, but so very true and real and it's my life to cherish and share with my T and my boys. Love is so priceless and so very hard to find and too damn easy to lose. hold it, cherish it and never let it go away because time naturally will do it for us all
Speaking of happiness my Baby girl Aubrey is so damn Amazing and it's been 2 days since I saw her and i miss her so much, momma a dad need to bring her by real soon or I will break! Being a new Grandpa is the best thing that's happened in a long time, bringing a new life of love and perspective to our lives, Terria is an amazing grandmother as she is a wife and mother, just seems to be the perfect thing and the perfect timing for us to have this little girl come into our world. she is so much about Love and being loved and will never ever lack that from us trust me, there is a special feel and bond that we have towards her knowing that mom and dad probably won't together foirever, too young and selfish to work o their issues and hoping that this baby aubrey does not suffer the consequences of their innabilities. We stand back with guarded hearts to thik that this little baby could be out of state in a manner of moments if aother fight ensues with her parents and they break up for the 12th time. This instability worries me a bit but we will love this baby with everything we have as long as she is within arms reach and available for us to be a positive influence. So much goodness in this baby and so much potential for drama at the same time no fault of her own. But we will enjoy her every second we can, Ty going away in august to boot camp and now we have 2 in the miloitary and worries are doubled but they grow up and move away eventually and we are ok with that fact ,just being selfish and knowing our baby Aubrey will be taken away from us soon.
So I defer to Terria in this forum to help me decide on the trip to Portland for a Donut, yes Voodoo donuts in Portland is calling our name but the rational side of me says driving 960 miles one way for a donut, spending a few hours in a cool city and driving back the following day is a little mind boggling but we roll in that directin and the therapeutic effects are always worth the drive, I love to drive and converse with my Terria about our lives and things that I mentioned here earlier and just the tranquility of my company, the road ,the music and the thoughts of being spontaneous and free from stupid worries about bills and payemts and traffic and mean people, our own little world takes us away from that mess and keeps us where we are in that happy place, seemingly unreal, but so very true and real and it's my life to cherish and share with my T and my boys. Love is so priceless and so very hard to find and too damn easy to lose. hold it, cherish it and never let it go away because time naturally will do it for us all
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
So Much Goodness Shared
Back in the saddle again and feeling like doing a little writing about the past week or so. Just getting back from spring training baseball in Arizona and really had a great time with Terria and Brandon , had the chance to watch 6 games in 4 days and overloads of Baseball are not a bad thing, the weather cooperated fully and gave us weather in the 80's...yes, very good times! Upon arriving home we were treated to the presence of our precious little grand daughter Aubrey Sue as we call her, so damn cute and such a great little bundle of joy. Don't know that I've been this excited since I became a father with Brandon over 26 years ago. Thanks Ty and Mandy for being generous with our little Baby Aubrey , she is such a joy and a real bundle of love giving and love received back as well.
Back to work this Monday after a week off and glad to be back on schedule with goals and places to be and less fly by the seat of the pants. Visit Michael tomorrow with Terria at 8 am and look forward to the visit to catch up on the goings on in our world and the constant growth and realities of our loves that we work on each and every day. Not much goes on these days without some sort of reflection on where we have been in our journey to the peacefulness that we so deeply deserve and long to feel each day. Life tries to take over and things evolve so we must do the same to keep up the pace and not be left behind. Emotionally and spiritually, we are stronger better people with a better understanding of what life means. I thank God for the strength that we are given to live and love and share the goodness with the ones we love, the days are short and the nights even shorter and we still wake up somewhat refreshed at the thoughts of taking on a new day together. Braz is officially out of Jalalabad Afghanistan and in a safe zone awaiting transport back to his homeport of Hawai Easter Sunday we hope, we will then be able to enjoy his company in May timeframe as he ventures home for leave and shares himself with the many family members that love and missed him over the past year. So much has gone on this past year for him and he has many personal wounds that will hopefully be dealt with properly. So much to think about and so much work to be done. We are all blessed and thankful that we are happy ,healthy people who have fallen and risen again and live another day to enjoy all that life has to give...even if we have to grab it from the face of defeat. Good Times always ahead and the positive thoughts and emotions that make it so much easier for all of us to get through the cold cruel world and all of it's negativity. We are Good to go!
Back to work this Monday after a week off and glad to be back on schedule with goals and places to be and less fly by the seat of the pants. Visit Michael tomorrow with Terria at 8 am and look forward to the visit to catch up on the goings on in our world and the constant growth and realities of our loves that we work on each and every day. Not much goes on these days without some sort of reflection on where we have been in our journey to the peacefulness that we so deeply deserve and long to feel each day. Life tries to take over and things evolve so we must do the same to keep up the pace and not be left behind. Emotionally and spiritually, we are stronger better people with a better understanding of what life means. I thank God for the strength that we are given to live and love and share the goodness with the ones we love, the days are short and the nights even shorter and we still wake up somewhat refreshed at the thoughts of taking on a new day together. Braz is officially out of Jalalabad Afghanistan and in a safe zone awaiting transport back to his homeport of Hawai Easter Sunday we hope, we will then be able to enjoy his company in May timeframe as he ventures home for leave and shares himself with the many family members that love and missed him over the past year. So much has gone on this past year for him and he has many personal wounds that will hopefully be dealt with properly. So much to think about and so much work to be done. We are all blessed and thankful that we are happy ,healthy people who have fallen and risen again and live another day to enjoy all that life has to give...even if we have to grab it from the face of defeat. Good Times always ahead and the positive thoughts and emotions that make it so much easier for all of us to get through the cold cruel world and all of it's negativity. We are Good to go!
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