A Sad Goodbye and Plans Ahead

Tonight we will enjoy our last night with our Boy and grandaughter Aubrey, tomorrow they will be on the road to duty station #1 amongst many we assume, this particular one will  send them to colorado springs and not too far for grandma and Grandpa to take a trip once every other month to visit baby Aubs and the kids! It's been an action packed month of Baby aubrey and taking pictures and making breakfasts and dinners for our baby, shopping for shoes and clothing for the precious little girl who has made our lives so meaningful and so fulfilling to say the least. So  a sense of sadness is sinking in and we will be trying to understand that our daily dose of baby Aubrey Sue will be coming to an abrupt end, now we can skype and tango in between visits to see them in Colorado.

As for Terria and I, the body ages on a daily basis, her knee again and my sciatica and lower back issues that will both require surgeries to alleviate the pains and discomfort that we both go through on a daily basis.  Age and constant use have taken their toll but a trip to my orthopedic this morning has made it more real for me to get this thing done, another visit tpo the operating surgeon will help me decide when  this procedure will be done, sooner than later and will have to wait at least until after we go visit Braz in Hawaii for his knee surgery the end of April, not my idea of fun doing Hawaii but supporting my boy with Terria for his bout with surgery, and yes i must e the only guy to bitch about a trip to Hawaii but not my thing, to me paradise is SoCal and motorcycle rides and track  days and living in the sun 340 days out of the year without the touristy hustle and bustle of the Asian invasion and the outward hurried pushiness that will ensue. I will tour Pearl Harbor and eat some fresh seafood, but a mere 5 days will be more than enough to support the boy and kiss him goodbye and head back to my idea of paradise with Terria in tow to get back to normalcy of work, school, gym,play hard and get healthier every single day.

Things are actually progressing as they should these days, the back and body issues are all fixable and will be done, the bike is running amazing right now, the new shocks and springs are halping me to get back to and beyond where I was a  few years ago and Brandon and I are planning a track day to let it rip and give it hell in a safer environment where if u crash you generally don't die, just slide awhile and a leather suit absorbs all of that drama instead f a guardrail or oncoming vehicle. Brandon is working on getting is bike track ready, mine is ready now and cannot wait to take it to the place wher eit was designed to safely go hard and fast. My new GoPro camera will capture the videos and allow me to watch and learn and get faster in between each session. so this I am really looking forward to and will try to get that done before the weather starts to warm up to unbearable temperatures. The tracks being in hot places like ?rosemond outside of Lancaster then there is buttonwillow near Bakersfield and the othe rone is Chuckwalla near Palm springs ,so doing it before the motnh of June might be best I would say!!!!! Other than that we will keep our heads on a swivel and our lives to the grinder and keep plugging away and live each day happier then the next

What's it All About?

I question so much, so many!
never have an answer or nary a clue
I get so excited when i get so close
yet the realities of living,throw me off course
My confusion, my dilussions  my ever changing conclusions
So i ask again, How ,what and Why ?

What's it all about?
Time cards, coffee break
Long drives for lunch
A ride to the gym for a swim
I love you and miss you
I need to make love to you?
can't wait to cook for you
As long as it's before 7 pm.

Is it about working, playing
loving, living, dying
trying to not die before our time
Don't want to miss a thing
coulda woulda shoulda will never be!

Is is the trivial bullshit, the complaints on deaf ears
The teaching to the deaf and dumb
societies dead  sea of youthful ignorance
never growing , never rising
above the stages of infantile retardation
mental midgetry, our future sucks!

So whats it all about again
The bank book,tax check,feed the dogs
shopping trips, online purchases and ebay at my touch
Work so hard to work so little
bringing home the bacon and actually cooking it well!
Pleasures and pains of reality ,i like pain
but i prefer more pleasure!
So you pleasure me, or I'll pleasure myself
with or without you, I like pleasure

Sleeping with the Television on
a diversion or aspersion
What do i try to run from,or run towards
tomorrows coming and i can't wait, yet i miss yeterdays lesson
So i teach and learn at the same time

My baby cries, my heart cries louder
my frustrations and pains i wear on my sleeve
My outward taunts of lessons learned
I bite my tongue while swallowing my words
my boys , my girls are confusing me so
I reach out to a fistful of air
i care too much and have no power
my powers within are useless to everybody but myself
my biggest fan is truly myself
My soapbox crumbled at my feet.

so what is truly all about
A Baseball game, a motorcycle ride?
love in my heart and in my home
a mortgage payment and an insurance agent
world class customer service
or the nasty receptionist who hates her life!

Sorting it all out I ponder the outcomes
of politics and people lives that don't seem to matter
Sequester this and fuck you too
The votes are in and nobody cares.
what's tomorrows value forecast
abysmal,dysmal,cloudy and 72 degrees.

Overthinking ,patience shrinking
wonder when it all comes to light
Happiness does not love company
so my chosen few We bundle tight.
The realization of my tied hands
make me angry yet I agree
To walk the walk ,talk the talk
And toe the line in the wake of happiness.

Congrats Son!

A special congratulatory salute to our newest soldier Ty who was decorated as an honor Grad in AIT  School at Fort Lee Va.

Humdrum Humpday

As I sit here at work tapping on the keys to nowhere, i await the final bell that sends me homeward. today for some reason has been less than stellar and for no apparent reason it just has been one of those humdrum days with no beginning or no end...just a day.  As i left for work today i grab my keys , my wallet , my phone, all adfter taking my morning meds and a big swig of el rio Tap waters' finest brew. I hea dout the door turn the truck key over and blow myself out of the water with my ipod  and stereo in the high on position, I scurry to turn it off, rub my eyes and then try to find the volume to try to salvage a few years of oratory pleasure still left in my life. Driving to work i check my wallet to ensure myself that i didn't leave my work access badge in my computer yet again..I check and its there, i drive on another mile or two and realize that my lunch was not one of the things I grabbed after the keys , the wallet and the phone. That 3 item sequence that throws me off ewverytime i vary from it in the least bit, yesterday it was the wallet,keys,phone  thus forgetting the Adam Carolla book I'm trying to finish so that i can read his next book. This goddamn sequence of habit that plagues me, on days when i take cookies in or a cake or whatever it is i concoct for the co workers i will always have to stop and do the damn s equence in my head,so anything more than the big 3 items usualy get left behind. So todays victim was my lunch and my appetite, the great pork slow raosted peel apart ,amazing roast that terria made for dinner last night that I was so much lookig forward to is now in the dark cold  waiting to be devoured for dinner! So thats how the day got started with a clusterfuckian attempt to try to get the days started right i did not nail the dismount i call getting ready for work, was ever 10 minutes late to boot but thats another irresponsibility I can tackle at another time.Well i'm here and thats all that matters but leaving my sick wife home with an aching gutteral region i feel bad and asked myself should I stay home and take  care of her? i opted for the clusterfuckian method and here i am.

So, here in the afternoon at work no more or no less going on since the morning session of nothingness but the time clock going slower each minute as it appears to me. I was jusy looking back on this past weekend ride and flat tire as i careened through the canyons at a very brisk pace...ok fast pace and feel an unfamiliar unsettling feeling on the bike, try to make the last turn and the bike doesnt want to lean over ,so i make it lean over get on the gas and the bike pogos at about 85 mph which tells me i have a tire loosing air and i need to stop this damn this now! I end up slowing it down bfore i really stomp on the binders to stop, walked it to the safest side of the road about 200 yards away and breath a sigh of relief. i stop, called the wife, no signal so i text the wife and she then dispenses our oldest boy to drive the 35 miles to where i am, load me up and bring us both home . Went to the motorcycle shop to et a new tire brought the old tire and rim in the shop, bought the tire and 10 minutes later i wa sheaded home to a new wheel tire combo and feeling good agai about the day, My boy installed it while i went back to work and that was that, treated him to lunch for his troubles and look forward to  changing my oil on the bike and then scrubbing in the new rear tire on a ride somewhere soon. Down to the last hour and feeling the clock somewhat speed up in the past hour or so, trying to get out of here , go to the gym, then head home to tend to my ailing wife and make her feel better quickly.

I'm not writing as much lately and have no rational for not doing so, i have aload of things to talk about , some rants andraves but not as vocal as i used to be, will tweet my 140 characters instead and give people the benefit of the Readers Digest Version of the gregasaurian rant and not overwhelm with my verbose opinionated nature,i honest don't care but maybe it takes too much energy to try to make a point anymore and nobody really cares about anything real or poingnant these days , they all live in a fast food world and a reality show fantasy to believe what they are told and the  Republicans continue to be racist hate mongers and blah blah blah! So i'm headed to the gym in a bit, going to do a great pool workout, say hey to my buds at the gym ansd head home to hang out with the coolest woman I know!!!!!! Good times

This is Joy

50 Today! Happy Birthday To me

Today is a very special day for me, not only because it's my birthday or even because it's my 50th birthday, but because I never in my wildest dreams thought I would reach this day in the grand scheme of things. Being a free spirit and do whatever I want kind of person i have always treaded on thin ice with my bad decisions, hobbies which put me in harms way and a life style of promiscuity which has thankfully has not bitten me in the Ass and allowed me to walk away from that unscathed. to be young and dumb and make bad decisions is one thing, but as a  50 year old still rising motorcycles fast knowing trouble could always be around the next corner, so maybe not fully grown up, or not afraid to die.?

I have truly been blessed with a great family, great wife and kids and a support system that people only dream of!  Yes life at 50 is no different for me than anytime in my life, always trying to live a good life wit things and stuff and all that other meaningless stuff that we at times give a shit about, well since growing up in my early 30's i have come to relaize that the only constants in my life are my family and my belief in God, everything else truly doesn't matter at the end of the mirrors reflection I see what i truly know is important!

As i said today marks a new day for me a rebirth in a sense to move forward froma place that I never thoyght I would get to, but now that I'm here I'm essentially playing with house moey and feel like i need to make an effort to make this life count and make a difference to those in my life that matter so much! As per usual I don't ever tend to make a fuss about myself or my birthdays just tend to assume the position of I'm better than that and let the day proceed as usual. Well today is here and no fanfare at work, thank you! no fanfare at homee as well, the congratulatory texts and emails have come in and very nice to be remembered in a low key sort of way and thats all I ever ask for, thankfully this year people have heard my wishes for tranquility , no party, no celebrations just a quiet dinner with my wife Terria and thats the way it will be.

I can hear my old therapist Michael asking me,"Greg, why don't you want a party for your birthday"? do you not feel worthy again of any sort of accolades directed at you? I still say no and for my own reasons don't ever treat this day any different, thats just me , most of my coworkers celebrate and take the day off and thats cool for them but not my style at all. I am who i am and different than most, that truly makes me feel special for the mere fact that I'm different and that I'm true to my own beliefs with as little fanfare and screaming as possible. so as it turns out, i'm happy to be where I am and truly blessed to live the life I have lived to date, I will celebrate today like i do every other day, with much appreciation and hope that the next day will be as peaceful as today. Thanks to all of my family, few friends and everybody who loves me and that i love back...Good Times and Blessed Days!!!!!

Not Like Us-The Great Hypocracy

Lets see where do I start here today, Do i talk about the fiscal cliff or the Mayan calendar, the mass shootings in Connecticut or the fact that we as a nation are a group of morons! After many hours of reading and watching Frank Schaeffer  on his blog, Twitter and YouTube entries I continue to believe that he s the most in-tuned human being on the planet, nobody makes more sense than he does ever! So I read his books and watch his speeches and continue to learn more each time  about the beauties of true spirituality, not the cardboard crap that the churches provide on a weekly basis and call it Christianity.What is a true Christian, somebody who follows the bible and speaks very loudly about their spirituality yet does very little to help anybody not like themselves. If they don't believe like they do, or go to the same church or read the same literature they are not like you and doomed to a life of eternal hell because as a Christian they are taught that they are elite, and special and looked highly upon but God and his Merry band of cross wearing fools. Yes the same people who bounce little boys on their laps and pay restitution for their acts with money from their churches and do no prison time, just a few thousand extra prayers is all and all is good. Do we then watch them pass a homeless person on the streets and don't look at them and tell their kids not to give them anything because they are just beggars, not knowing how they got there or giving a shit, they are not like themselves therefore they are not good people!Well in the name of good Christians I declare bullshit and what kind of people look down upon those less fortunate, as f they are less worthy of the nice things that they have and because they smell less than floral arrangements and speak in mumbled sentences. These are in fact the very people that we are supposed to help, a meal, a blanket, a few dollars to find temporary happiness and who are we to judge of that happiness happens to be a bottle of ripple or a cold beer before they bed down in an alley way or a freeway abutment? I for one is very ashamed of some people very close to me who have turned their backs on these very types of unfortunate people. Sad thing it is these type of people who look at tragedies and say it's Gods way of punishing Gays ,or fornicators or even Democrats for not being like them. If that be the case than these Christians can all go to hell and then ask if they were doing Gods duty on their way way to the bank before they get money to provide for the affluent churches, and may even pass a few homeless on the way to show how grandstanding is done. God loves them more because they have a 70" flat screen and the 4 new cars in the garage and the new hardwood floor, everything on the exterior seems to be perfect all the way to the wall of fame of pictures of smiles and good times of showing off the gun collection and the cruise to somewhere. the soulless better life where all good things can be bought and never be used on anybody, for anybody but people exactly like them. Yeah! Good Christians, what a sad Oxymoron that has become and all too familiar to me these days. So the ultimate Hypocrisy is when supposed Good people say bad things happen to bad people as punishment but yet do no good deeds without expecting repayment for those deeds and want God to keep score because they put an extra $5 in the tithe this Sunday and they bought cookies from the neighbor kid and expected the same when little league chocolates were to be sold yeah the I will scratch your back only if you scratch mine first mentality. We need to stop trying to be good Christians and  become better people who love and give of themselves with no reciprocation expected...The Golden Rule means so much more when nobody is watching and nobody cares that they aren't but a loving ,giving soul like mine!