Take It On

Another day goes by

Another set of tears fall to the wayside

I turned my music off on the way to the gym

I couldn't hear another one of those songs

I've grown from a year ago

I have realized there's no turning back

Forward to another place is where I am

Alone with my thoughts sometimes dark

The clouds don't always follow me

The sun shines bright more than I realize

So much of what I knew has been removed

And here I still stand with many options

I could be in a better place

Or a homeless man who has given up

I opt for the stay and fight

My daily regiment says everything for me

My spiritual side has broken through

My mental acuity Has plenty in the tank

I can see the tunnel and the light

I feel pretty good tonight

When I open the blinds in the morning

Will I see the light intended for me

Can I fight through another memorable tune

Will the pictures I see make me happy not sad

Tomorrow on the ride to the gym

I play the songs that made me cry

I listen and I sing along

Reminded those were happy times not sad

I have reached a fork in the road I've chosen

Staying the course and not veering away

I've got a limited stretch on this side

I'm not wasting my energy on yesterday

For all of my petty grievances and beliefs

I won't expect people to be who they can't be

Just accept my choices that I was a part of

And let the rest be who they want to be

 

A Life Better Lived

 I felt a tug in my chest tonight

Not a heart attack but a failure of some sort

A bitter sting that life can bring

Funny what you feel in the dark

I was looking at my photographs

Six years of memories

So many great snapshots

A few that made me cry

A picture can speak thousands of words

Some of mine were one word "SAD"

The joys at the time they were taken

Reflection to the realities they created

I feel that sadness in my heart tonight

I wiped away the tears and then wiped some more

I can hear the words and feel that touch

It's ok, it's ok to cry

My words float aimlessly as I talk to myself

My prayers from my thoughts as I feel you close

I have failed on many levels long before I failed you

These failures reflect my full potential

I can only hope that this feeling will pass

Not knowing your status and frame of mind

My biggest wish is your life is fulfilled

And that your life is better without me

This Is Me

 I have tried so hard to stay afloat

Stay up from the pitfalls I've created

Looking forward ,stop looking back

Yesterday will never come back

I find it hard to talk about

Betrayals and forgiveness never recognized

I can listen and hear and hear the words

They continue to bite real hard

A conversation I had tonight

I realize that I was absent and inconsiderate

I try to make it up but never reach the mark

Where sorry is not accepted as a viable answer

My shortcomings are openly exposed

Nothing more to hide from those who need to know

This tiny world which is now my home

I have so much to repair in a short time

Forgive me for my arrogance 

Thinking that I was never wrong

Double ignorance proves my point

I wandered aimlessly my entire life

Living in this bubble of reality

I can't escape its' harmful results

I make it up in ways that don't matter

It's the only thing I have anymore

My truth is escaping my lies

My life is meaningless unless I make a difference

I can give you everything I Have

But I still come up so short

I can now see the things so obvious

My evil ways and more evil thought

The way I lived this laughable Hoax

Fraudulent to those who chose to engage

A new day has come and nothing really changes

I seek out redemption that may never come

I try to move away from my vices of destruction

I hope a little and pray all night