Status Quo!

Another great day in the Nard and at work not much going on in regards to work but we are preparing for a long weekend and trying to get together an Agenda of some sort. Been Golfing a little and Bowling a little and doing whatever i can to stay busy these days. The gym is my constant companion and is my destination either at lunch time or after work but it a done deal either way.  Staying busy is a good thing and it's all things that are fun and good for me as well!

Speaking of things that i love doing I am putting my Ducati on the selling blocks and have decided to get rid of my prized possession motorcycle.  It was a tough decision but the fact that I'm only riding the bike once or twice every 2 weeks is not a justifiable possession on my part, so i listed it and will try to get rid of it as soon as i can. I Will miss the world of fast motorcycles and the open Canyons in the area but I have so many other things to look to for entertainment and good times with Family and friends. the fear factor never did come into play , even after my crash a few years back I never looked back and thought about getting hurt, I did find my self riding at 90% of what I once did and for no other reason than being practical and wiser!

Again i look back on where the spring of 2010 had taken me, dealt so much hurt and pain to my wife and family and in retrospect I can see what a confused person that i was and had become. the reasons and attractions away from my home are not important but the reasons and means of staying grounded are, i make mistakes, do stupid things to this day but they are easy fix, low stressers of everyday variety. Sometimes in looking back I see things that I hate about me, things that remind me of how far I had fallen internally and spiritually. But odd how taking backwards step have given me a sense of perspective, to realize that my selfish ways needed to be dealt with and taking into consideration that my thoughts and actions affect so much more than the sphere that I'm in, I'm learning!!!!!

Well I've stopped visiting my therapist Michael Morales and don't know when i will see him again, I learned allot of things from him but didn't agree with all of the things that he had to say and the route of the therapy was trying to take a semi flawed man and turn me into something that I'm not, a timid ,meek , overly in touch with my feeling type of person which will never be me and i have too many things that were trying to be taken away from me that had nothing to do with my departures from the truth, just things that i like, which seemed to be the central theme of my therapy which I do not agree with. So i move on and take the things that i believe in that I learned and move forward. My stupid ass may make mistakes and say stupid shit but i am a good man who loves and gives of himself more so now that ever, my feelings of empathy and understanding are better than they have ever been and for that i feel Good about Me and the gift of love that i can now give Terria!

To answer you question which i know i will get from you Terria , I am writing after my long absence for a number of reasons, i miss it, I love to write and I feel like I'm losing a friend with the motorcycle going away for the last time. It pains me in the aspect that  we shared the same passion together, we rode and went to races together and now that part of our lives is going away and know that there are many other things that replace that bond, more importantly the time we spend together which i love and adore you to death, trust me I am never going anywhere unless you kick my ass to the curb but knowing that you always incorporate my interests with your own and make them all your own to share tells me how much you love me and love spending time with me, i only hope that i project the same to you with my actions and reaction to what you love and adore in your life as we walk it together