Going Back

 If I could turn back the hands of time

I probably would change a few thing

I never wanted a family ,wife or kids

Yet I did on both accounts

Would I change all of that

Should I have changed all of that

Through things I never wanted

I received an incredible amount of joy

Two failed marriages

Two broken families

Too much pain and destruction

One common denominator....ME

I've taken ownership of my misgivings

My bad decisions and awful actions

I look at the rubble piled behind me

So I stop looking back and look ahead

So many things I never said

Too many things I actually did

So much resentment from every angle

I've handled it well regardless of how they feel

I'm taking a step in a new direction

Health and welfare at the front of the line

My petty concerns are gone for good

My self-preservation at the hands of others

I've lived a great life done everything I've wanted

Not really much left but to collect a few paychecks

I won't go easily into the night

The darkness I create will be intentional