Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Where Am I now

It seems like years have passed me by
Love and life wrestle for position
I've lost a step, or lost my swagger altogether
I don't do much very well anymore
But what I do well, I do very well indeed!
Maybe it's the realization of aging
Could be I'm not the spry runner or cyclist I once was
Determined to go that extra distance for fitness sake
Today, My hip, my back and my knee are barking at me to slow down
I have no choice but to listen and ready an MRI
I have the strength to make it to the gym
I have the desire to jump on my bike
Each endeavor pushes at my will and character
Sometimes I want to give it all up!
I always think I could never give up
But age and reality tells me otherwise
So I fight the fight that we all must endure
I will be reminded of my bumps, scars and aches daily
Not an old man, just getting there
Youth all around to remind me what I used to be
today is a reality that I sometimes struggle to compete with.
Pity party notwithstanding, I'm a blessed soul with so many gifts given to me
It's a holiday everyday, a picnic ongoing and a world of love and life abounding!
So today I reflect on the past, look forward to the future and just try so hard!
Try hard to enjoy the moment , and the goodness in our world regardless of the bad around us
Cannot penetrate the walls of where I sit, where I live and breathe today.
I am very sore, very tired and very upset at myself for feeling all of these things
Yet my biggest dilemma today is what's for dinner
and do I ride the bike or go to the gym...tough life indeed!!!

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Hello Me!

Hard to believe that a full year has gone by since my last post. I have lived a very charmed life and have grown so much in the past year , thinking about love and loss and kids , grandkids  and the loves in my life I call family. Going to breakfast with my family, To dinner with my wife and friends and always surrounded by love and life of positive energy. I try so very hard to figure out what I have done to deserve the people in my life, the love that I receive and positive thoughts my family and few friends always have for me. Her I stand the black sheep of this wonderful family, my wife the saint, my siblings are amazing human beings and the great memories of my parents and the lessons taught and learned along the way. I feel so very happy to be me these days, , age is not a factor yet but the body is starting to remind me that the days of old are long gone, the legs and feet are sore and hurt, yet I'm able to go to my workouts and ride my Bicycles at will the way a young person can and the way that I used to when I was much younger.


As I think about another school year starting up for the family, the newness of the year and the routine of old, everyday seems like a day that we should celebrate in it's entirety, believing that its a days closer to something better waiting to happen? That's an optimistic view of it at least and a view that I truly believe that I feel to be true. I am blessed for I don't have bad days, bad nights or too many bad thoughts, the world is so very small and the new world as it stands is so different than what I can believe in, so I don't , I try to take my own realities and hold onto the goodness of each one, Terria and the boys, the family and the in laws, brother and sister. Yeah  ,I do wonder how it all came to this and all came to me, sitting in my lap. Why me, why not somebody else, the self-proclaimed asshole that still is, opinions and ideas, louds thoughts and vulgar remarks, non PC in a Wanna be PC world. Anything for humor right ? so I laugh , make people laugh, it's soothing to me , to laugh aloud, laugh at myself first, then pay it forward t the world waiting to be humiliated. "no Greg, you're not an asshole, you're a good person" I don't have a week to dispute that so I wont. As Popeye says "I am what I am "


It's a 3 day weekend for me and will do my gym, my rides, my breakfasts and lunch dates with wife and family and surround myself with the small crew that makes my life credible. Living and working where I do  I hear the stories of lost loves, broken hearts and families. Sick pets and drunken stupors abounding! I can't help but feel bad for those who are in pain  but am defenseless to help  or be anything other than  an ear of compassion. When self medication is a bottle a pill or a bad decision away , my hands are tied here to assist, to be there and to be a better , husband, father, brother or friend. I guess it's hard to understand pains when I really have little personal experience to draw from to relate. So now that I have said hello to me again, and checked back in here, it may be awhile before I return , or could be back tomorrow????