I Don't

 I don't want to be here today

I really don't want to be me anymore

My lost souls and broken life

Has taken it's toll on me today

Too much sorrow and so much pain

Celebrations that seem so hollow

I miss my girl so very much

All I want for her is to say hello

I don't know what tomorrow brings for me

I know this day has me in a state of cloudiness and tears

An old classic song in my ear this morning

The Carpenters"for all we know"

I've picked myself up off the ground so many times

Emotionally never rides

I've don't have a way to filter my feelings

So I empty them all at my feet

I'm tripping and skirting around the truths of my life

I see an empty barrel filling up with sadness and tears

I'm not quite sure if I'll make its through 

To see the finish line where I once knew I would be first

The one thing I do know is it hurts, hurts so bad

It hurts like I've lost my family , I have no friends

My thoughts aren't bright anymore

My demeanor a far cry from the brilliance I once championed

I don't know if we'll ever speak again

I just just know, I really don't